OKAY TUMBLR. IT'S TIME TO SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL.
Reblog this if you pronounce “.gif” as “GIF.”
NOT JIF,
GIF.
WE SHALL SEE WHICH ONE PREVAILS.
There is... Another...
I laughed way too hard at this
in case anyone is looking through the notes trying to find the original artist it’s will mcphail !! feel free to check out his site but also here are some other things he made too !!
smooththegoofyshark
OOOHHH CLICK ON THAT LINK THIS GUY IS FUCKING GREAT
HOLY SHIT
this guy GETS IT
One of my FAVORITE cartoonists! This post is missing my favorite one so I’ll put it here
Tumblr famous is like, gladiator famous, where you have a lot of people cheering for you but it’s because you’re being eaten by a lion
Reverse murder mystery.
Someone cast True Resurrection on the local dickhead and we need to figure out who to punish for this.
Allow me to assure you, as a librarian, that if you as a concerned citizen present us with a list of Books that are Bad and should Not Be In Our Collection and which you Require us to Remove At Once, we will scan it for titles that we don’t have yet to add to our purchase list.
Ah, the “limiting access to information is okay if they’re takes I object to” squad has begun to appear.
This is your helpful reminder that:
a) There are legitimate information access needs even to bad information (one cannot, for example, study and deconstruct erroneous information about climate change if you don’t know what people are saying) and it is actually part of my vocation to provide ACCESS to even books I vehemently disagree with. Sometimes I even get to bond with the person checking it out over how appalling it is! Sometimes the reason they’re checking it out is because they need to read it but don’t want to buy it.
b) The presence of a text in a library collection does not imply agreement with or endorsement by the library as an entity; it just means for one reason or another it fits in our collection management policy. Often it’s based on patron requests from community members.
c) The absolute last thing you EVER want is your librarian to be empowered to decide whether your information need is Good Enough to be “allowed” access to the text. You, personally, even you reading this who knows you share the same values as me, do not want your access to be subject to my judgement as to whether or not your information need is “valid”; to be subject to my assessment whether you can be trusted to have access to a text.
I’m not your mom. I’m not even your teacher. I’m your librarian; it’s my job to help you access information YOU need, and YOU decide what that need is. If you ask for my help then sure it’s also my job to help you assess it based on my training and experience, but it is not my job to ARBITRATE your access to information based on my decisions about the legitimacy of your reason to seek it out.
So yes even when that list of books has books on it I think are full of lies I’m probably checking to see if it’s something someone in my community might need access to without having to buy it or expose themselves to the malware risks of pirating.
Because while I kinda hate him Jordan Peterson’s bullshit is RELEVANT to understanding a lot of shit going on today. And you do NOT want to live in a world where it’s my job to test and see if you have a good and pure enough reason for wanting to check his book out.
I’m ages late but:
Excuse me a coworker caught me making a warding sign at fuckin’ Ted Cruz’s piece of shit book the other day, I feel very called out right now.
an internal memo leaked from ceo steve huffman saying the "noise" of the blackout will die out and they just need to weather it until we give up. fuck you spez.
first of all it's OVER EIGHT THOUSAND subreddits that went dark.
second of all he clearly doesn't give one single shit about the users or the UNPAID army of mods who slog through a million miles of shit every day to keep illegal and offensive content off the site (i'm a mod in a small fandom subreddit and even the shit i've seen is beyond the pale) and therefore make it appealing to the advertizers.
you have no fucking business without us. and you don't care one single bit about it.
he clearly did not mean for this memo to leak, but someone at reddit thought it was important enough to send it out anyway. please spread it (spreddit?) especially because so much of reddit is still in blackout.
One thing I love about Tumblr that wasn't a thing on Reddit is that I can just write whatever the fuck text post I want. No titles. No putting text on images. No algorithms or karma. Just fuckin splatter your mind onto the screen and people will see it. Like god intended.
I love The Golden Girls.
Ya’ll don’t have any idea how fucking brave and needed these plot lines were.
This was before Ellen came out.
This was before civil unions.
This was before Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.
This was when your ass could be fired, blacklisted, and shunned with no legal protections for even being hinted at being gay.
And the Golden Girls said “Fuck you, Fuck this, we’re doing it anyway.”
transdankovsky
I think it should be noted that Blanche’s quote about AIDS is also “It is not god punishing people for their sins” and that the episode also deals with slutshaming.
I don’t know if people realize how much activism these women did for gay right and during the aids crisis. If you think about it they were all long established in Hollywood and Broadway. They had tons of friends personally affected and dealing with the aids crisis. Estelle Getty lost a nephew. I think they helped plant seeds in people who watched Golden Girls that helped make things a little more normalized and mainstream.
if any minors are following me
always make sure to start forging parents' signatures on the first day of class. that way, your teachers won't know that you've been forging signatures for the rest of the year
hey I'm seeing some concerned parents and teachers in the notes, and I just want to say:
lmaooooo
horseback archery -> several hundred years -> jerking off while driving
watch anthropologists ignore this
Except the horse can just not walk off a cliff or whatever while the car absolutely can. I mean i know horses can but like if they are paying attention they’ll just be like “you’re a stupid and I’m not going there and you can’t actually make me”.
interesting. what other discrepancies have you found between mounted archery and masturbating on the interstate
“The average US president has been charged with 1.54 felonies” factoid isn’t true. The average US President has been charged with 0 felonies. Donald trump, who has been charged with 71, is a statistical outlier and should not have been counted
Love that they put “a sense of impending doom” as one of the symptoms of a heart attack, like girl, that’s just how it is to be alive these days, you’re gonna have to be more specific
This made me chuckle but after scrolling away I felt the need to come back to it.
Because as someone who has felt this I can not stress how different it actually is from anxiety. Which is saying a lot because I have a massive anxiety disorder.
I've only felt this twice in my life - once when I was going into kidney failure due to an infection and again when my body was going into shock due to dehydration and malnourishment due to GI issues - and I can not stress how much it saved my life. It's hard to even put it into words. It's not like a panic attack, or anxiety. It is a horrific gut turning feeling of absolute dread.
Especially if you have anxiety you'll know the difference honestly. It's so much worse. It's every cell in your body and your brain screaming that there's something horribly wrong in a way you've never felt. It's your brain screaming out that you are going to die in a way no panic attack has ever done before.
I can not stress how important it is to get yourself to the ER if you feel this way. Especially if your having other physical symptoms.
This is amazing and incredibly helpful, oh my god. Thank you.
Fandom is so different now and it’s becoming un-fun with how quickly shit moves.
I just want to enjoy things. I don’t want to have to play a game of Artist-Race that seems to be afoot lately.
Ya’ll eat up fandoms, leave artists and writers bone dry and then move on so fucking quickly then fucking wonder where all the Good Fandom Stuff is.
Idk Maybe cherish some things for longer. Reblog stuff. Interact with people. Comment and share.
Fandom is Capitalism now and I’m not being nuanced.
people also seem obsessed with only Doing Fandom about currently active works?
“oh, I’m so sad that show ended! I really miss the fandom!” who said you have to leave, coward
going from the reddit star wars fandom to the tumblr star wars fandom is giving me insane whiplash. the upside is that people aren’t bitching about every single imperfect detail in the entire franchise, but the downside is that i’ve seen more fanart of obi wan and commander cody tenderly knowing each other than i have ever wanted to in my life in the last three hours and it has probably fundamentally altered the way i interact with the entire franchise
after the initial shock of being plunged into the icy cold lake of seeing my childhood action figures caressing each others sweaty chests in a gentle, hidden moment after a battle, i’ve been able to get my wits about me and realize that yeah, i’m kinda with it
reminder to worldbuilders: don't get caught up in things that aren't important to the story you're writing, like plot and characters! instead, try to focus on what readers actually care about: detailed plate tectonics
Doing an oceanography assignment on waves and one of the slides that popped up was the Beaufort Wind Scale and the IMMEDIATE first thing that came to mind was “oh like from twitter.”
Thanks for poisoning my brain, internet.
It’s a different poem in my textbook:
Appearance of the Sea
Like a mirror
Ripples with the appearance of scales, no foam crests
Small wavelets; crests of glassy appearance, no breaking
Large wavelets; crests begin to break, scattered whitecaps
Small waves, becoming longer; numerous whitecaps
Moderate waves, taking longer to form, many whitecaps, some spray
Large waves begin to form, whitecaps everywhere, more spray
Sea heaps up and white foam from breaking waves begins to be blown in streaks
Moderately high waves of greater length, edges of crests begin to break into spindrift, foam is blown in well-marked streaks
High waves, dense streaks of foam and sea begins to roll, spray may affect visibility
Very high waves with overhanging crests; foam is blown in dense white streaks, causing the sea to appear white; the rolling of the sea becomes heavy; visibility reduced
Exceptionally high waves (small and medium-sized ships might fora time be lost from view behind the waves), the sea is covered with white patches of foam, everywhere the edges of the wave crests are blown into froth, visibility further reduced
The air is filled with foam and spray, sea completely white with driving spray, visibility greatly reduced.
So the crow family at work has found a Fun New Game. This game is “peck at the shiny trucks, but SPECIFICALLY only at the newest, shiniest, most expensive ones.”
This has caused, shall we say, some consternation among employees. A pest control service has been contacted. They have deployed traps, bait, and a dude with a BB gun.
None of these have worked even a little. Current score; Corvids 3, Pest Control Dudes 0. Crows just fuck off into the trees and caw derisively the moment they see the distinctive green and white pest company trucks; this company shot one (1) crow here three years ago and now the crows all know the company on sight.
I am, of course, rooting for the crows in this battle, and so far the crows are winning handily.
Oh, I forgot. Actually they first put up a decoy of an owl, which the crows quickly determined was a Fake Owl and started using as a place to sit and survey the parking lot for the Shiniest Trucks.
So that’s actually Crows 4, Pest Control company 0.
An Actual Call I got today;
Me; “Hello?”
Caller; “There is a CROW pecking at _____’s TRUCK!”
Me; “And what would you like me to do about it, exactly? Tell it to stop?”
Them; “I DON’T KNOW BUT IT IS PECKING AT THE TRUCK.”
Me; “Well, they’ve had Plunkett’s out several times and they’re supposed to stop again later.”
Them; “BUT IT’S PECKING NOW.”
Me; “So go shoo it away. I don’t control the crows and I am not qualified to do pest control.”
Them; “Couldn’t you call them now?”
Me; “Do you seriously think that if I called their office, which is a thirty minute drive from here, that they could get a team here before it gets bored?”
Them; “…..”
Me; “Just go shoo it away. Have a nice day.”
Odin, this entire time; *absolute cackling laughter*
Maybe they should just not wash their truck so they’re not as appealing, or throw blankets over the hood and stuff… take precautions.
I mean they know these crows Target the nicest shiniest trucks they’re just asking for it aren’t they
Really, if they don’t want their hoods pecked by crows fascinated by shiny things they would take a little personal responsibility here.
TBH spending 100K on a truck and then strutting around bragging about your brand new expensive fancy truck is just ASKING for tricksters to fuck with you but that’s just my opinion.
Instead of using bait and traps and shooting at them they’d be better off making a bunch of shiny toys for the crows to play with.
Of course the punchline here is that after six months of hearing these douchebags Not Shutting Up about how much money they spent on new trucks after turnaround, mixed with an equal amount of “Trump 2020″, I did in fact make a blood sacrifice to an ancient trickster god associated with corvids and am now absolutely watching the results go down with great glee.
perkigothii-geekius
muahahaha. Indirect Witchy Action. Corvids >>>>> rich douches and/or trumpkins
And I didn’t tell a single lie.
I don’t control the crows, but I know the guy who does.
omg this was already brilliant before you revealed the punchline and then it just ascended to a level of amazing I can only dream to reach
UPDATE; the poorest control company came in wearing street clothes and in their personal trucks to try and shoot them. No dice. The crows know their faces. They also have not bored of the Shiny Trucks.
Crows; 6. Pest control dudes; 0