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The world may never know

@torturedgnom3

James, probably an agent of chaos
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my main requirement in a partner is someone who's willing to "yes, and" me. if i say something completely insane i need them to just pick that up and run with it and commit to the bit until we wind up with a conversation that's funny to us but completely incoherent to everyone within earshot. actually now that i'm typing this out i've realised my ideal relationship might just be "shitty improv comedy duo"

Anonymous asked:

You have abs???? I imagined you would have a frail ass wizard build

I'm built like if Hot Topic sold scarecrows you could fuck. I'm built like a washed up pop punk lead singer. I'm built like delinquent-coded female best friend from an early 2000s comedy. I'm built like rapid onset twink necrosis.

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they put pussy in the water supply to keep the lesbians healthy

ⓘ Fact Check

There are currently no jurisdictions worldwide that mandate the addition of pussy to drinking water, nor have any clinical trials shown that the addition of pussy to drinking water has any significant effect on the heath of lesbians.

For more information on Tumblr Fact Check or to report inaccuracy, please see our reports page.

idk why but they buried the option to turn this feature off - but you can find it if you go to the FAQ.

WHY DID THEY NEED TO CLAIRIFY THAT

Tumblr has fact checking?

apparently???

yeah it’s new :/ they announced it on the staff blog here

It's Elephants Foot Friday!!!!

RB to instantly receive 8000 roentgens of radiation

The who took this picture is also in the picture. His name is Artur Korneyev, and he’s apparently still alive. He is quoted as saying: “Soviet radiation is the best radiation in the world.”

people always praise taylor swift like "ough she wrote an album that told a story shes so original and brave and talented" ok well sure she wrote a concept album about women being sad. you know what else is a concept album? janelle monáe's five-suite metropolis saga spanning 3 albums telling the story of her time-travelling android alter ego, cindi mayweather, who is slated to be dissasembled after committing the forbidden act of falling in love with a human and, while on the run, learns that shes destined to be the savior that liberates all androids through social justice and funky tunes. why dont you listen to that?

we need to talk about the fact that for many of the posters in season one, they are literally on opposite sides and/or have a dividing line between them

and now they're literally crossed over in some way for the season 2 posters

THEY'RE LITERALLY ON THEIR OWN SIDE NOW, PEOPLE!

CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS?

Just so you know… There is no “the queen”. Why? 

There are so, so many queens.

They make up half of the human population.

We call them “women”. 

And I am a loyal knight fighting for all of them. I slaughtered a dragon for women today, actually. Here’s a picture

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The longer I live, the more deeply I learn that love — whether we call it friendship or family or romance — is the work of mirroring and magnifying each other’s light. Gentle work. Steadfast work. Life-saving work in those moments when life and shame and sorrow occlude our own light from our view, but there is still a clear-eyed loving person to beam it back. In our best moments, we are that person for another.

-James Baldwin