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Hello There

@toptexttime

I don’t exist, please don’t look at me

In the future, children will think our ways are strange. "Why do old people always grow so much milkweed in their gardens?" they'll say. "Why do old people always write down when the first bees and butterflies show up? Why do old people hate lawn grass so much? Why do old people like to sit outside and watch bees?"

We will try to explain to them that when we were young, most people's yards were almost entirely short grass with barely any flowers at all, and it was so commonplace to spray poisons to kill insects and weeds that it was feared monarch butterflies and American bumblebees would soon go extinct. We will show them pictures of sidewalks, shops, and houses surrounded by empty grass without any flowers or vegetables and they will stare at them like we stared at pictures of grimy children working in coal mines

We will be feeding our grandchildren strawberries and raspberries we grew in our gardens, dragging them along to the farmers' markets for tomatoes and eggs and goats milk and pickles and pecans and salsa and sunflower seed butter and jars of honey, as they complain and drag their feet because Gramma always stands around talking to people for like an HOUR

and we will say "When I was YOUR age, fruits and vegetables came from a supermarket and they were bred to get shipped 1000 miles in a truck and sit on shelves for weeks, and they tasted so sour and watery it was like eating paper compared to these ones. It wasn't even legal in some places to grow your own food"

and they will roll their eyes like yeah yeah just because everything was miserable in the 20s doesn't mean I have to have a smile on my face standing in the hot sun while you listen to that one guy talk about his bees FOREVER

But they will go, because there might be baby goats.

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Anonymous asked:

My car seat vibrates if you drift out of the lane without the signal on, found out I can cum from that 😏

can you imagine getting smushed into a paste on the 101 because some twink is too cheap to buy a vibrator and decided to merge into you

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Cuba does not have a higher life expectancy than the United States. Even if it did, the Cuban government does not allow dissent to the regime and routinely harrasses pro-democracy activists.

Cuba does have a higher life expectancy. Cuba also allows dissent, so much so that they just voted to rewrite their constitution. Meanwhile in the US when you stand outside a government building with a sign:

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so how did it go? did crab day save tumblr or do we need to do a bake sale or something

clearly the only thing left we can do is to have the best talent show the world has ever seen, right here on tumblr live

*with my 2012 john green ventriloquist doll* dear judges, i will now perform a monologue