Don’t forget that:

reblog for noises

@lattye​‘s tags are fucking amazing

I once had a violinist call my clarinet a wooden pole. WELL JOKES ON YOU, IT’S NOT EVEN MADE OF WOOD.

Also, a violin is a wooden box. I bet that if wood could mould I could make a clarinet out of a violin.

wait clarinets aren’t made of wood

only the shitty plastic ones that sound all edgy and french

Required pride viewing: “Y'all Better Quiet Down” speech by Sylvia Rivera, 1973. Animated by Brogan Bertie. You can view the original speech here (Tumblr doesn’t allow video files over 5 minutes but you should watch it if you have time!).

Ya know what?

Like if the piano is a string instrument. Reblog if it’s percussion. I say percussion.

Why can’t it be Both ?

then fucking like and reblog

my last two brain cells preparing a Depression Meal

What the MCU should have been.

My favorite song

Its just like RAHRHRHARSHITFUCKRAHGHA and then nice and long plagal cadence and honestly 

Big ass mood

okay! so i have to rewrite the post and i made myself some ramen and ms painted myself some visual aides. lets do this!

a big issue with how we discuss nonbinary gender is that people tend to have thought of binary gender, both as an internal experience and as an outward presentation, like this:

putting gendered concepts into concrete boxes. you’re either one or the other! people don’t really share between the boxes, but some people accept the fact that you can switch between the two, but there is nothing else, right? right?

but then with the advent of accepting nonbinary gender, people tend to switch their perspective to something like this:

look we added a third one! for people who use they/them pronouns and are androgynous? that makes sense right? forget the rigid gender binary, now we have a rigid gender *trinary*! that solves everything, gender is three boxes and nobody gets to share. right?

but the thing is that nonbinary gender as a concept isn’t a third concrete gender, it is the concept of gender outside of a rigid gender binary. so it should look a lot more like this conceptually:

because THAT gets across the point that nonbinary gender was trying to convey all along. as an *umbrella term*, nonbinary encompasses a LOT of different gender experiences. there can be aspects of the gender binary, or there can be entirely none. and i would like to stress that this is still concerning gender as both an internal experience and as an outward presentation.

take for example, genderfluid, a term people have used to describe a relationship with gender (internal and external) that fluctuates. maybe a genderfluid person presents as a man on some days, as a woman on others. their experiences might look something like this:

or someone who is bigender, a term that conveys a multifaceted experience of more than one gender. it should probably make sense represented like this: 

the thing is that most people tend to hear nonbinary and think of agender (mentally, “the third option: neither”), the term people use for identifying with no specific gender, and presenting entirely outside of the binary:

this looks similar to the box model at the start of this post, but acknowledges that the umbrella term “nonbinary” encompasses a range of experiences.

and so, people can have experiences where, to some degree, they internally experience or outwardly present things associated with what we consider to be the “binary” genders, but also androgyny. that’s how you have someone who experiences manhood or womanhood but not strictly within the gender binary:

i know this seems like a lot, but the point i’m trying to make is that peoples’ experiences with gender are not always so rigid. they may change from time to time, or within different circumstances, or within the context of inward experience versus outward expression.

and with that much more comprehensive definition of nonbinary gender (as an *umbrella term*), it is much clearer that someone could be nonbinary and wlw or mlm if they relate to manhood/womanhood.

as for me, i am a nonbinary butch lesbian. the term “nonbinary woman” accurately reflects my experiences. 

i am physically female, and that is the way that i want it to be. i experience physical dysphoria at the prospect of being physically male. but i present my gender androgynously. i prefer they/them pronouns, i dress androgynously, and from time to time i dress in a manner that minimizes my bust. i prefer to be *read by others* as androgynous, a concept that is inextricable from my butch role in the wlw community. but i am still somewhat female, and still prefer terms like “woman, sister, girlfriend” and i still feel love for and attraction to other wlw. those who know me recognize me as a butch lesbian. like many lesbians, my relationship with womanhood is inextricably tied to gender nonconformity and androgyny.

does that make sense?

i cant breathe

Me getting thrown out of heaven after god finds my tumblr;

me, grade 5, explaining to my friends that my bratz doll left her husband because her husband joined a gang against women with short hair so she broke up with him, got a haircut, and found another bratz doll with short hair and they own every single my littlest pet shop animal i have and she is much happier now. but then her ex came back with another woman and tried to make her jealous but the other women looked exactly like her and it turns out they were long lost twins separated at birth so her newfound sister breaks up with him too because they have twin powers but then the ex kills her in a rage but wait she didnt actually die but she has a scar on her face and she’s out for revenge and now she has a knife and i called the story ‘the knife the angry wife and the ex in strife’

all my friends at the sleepover:

FINALLY

One of the things I like about this: they’re doing it without shouting down women.

Because “that doesn’t happen to guys” *IS* a feminist issue. Male victims of abuse being dismissed, blamed or ridiculed because they weren’t “manly” enough is a part of patriarchy. And you can raise awareness of that without dismissing other feminist issues or bringing it up as a “counter argument” to problems women face.

MRAs, take note. This is how you actually support men’s rights.

started from the bottom now we a little bit above the bottom

getting a bachelor’s degree in music like

Basically.

This radiates the most tired energy I’ve seen on this site

In high school I would’ve called this fake, but there are definitely profs that would be cool with this.

Brass problems

Leaky water keys

Transposing

Running away from tubas

Practising all day and then waking up with a split lip

Playing piano

Being the only girl in the section

Rowdy 12 year old boys trying to take over the trumpet section

Being totally undermined by the rest of the orchestra while knowing that you’re secretly the best you just don’t want everyone else to get jealous

Anything above a top C

Forgetting your mute

Being the only one to remember a mute

Being section leader/principal and trying (and failing) to control your section

Chromatic scales

Counting anything over 4 bars of rests and drifting off because you have a terrible attention span

People calling your baritone a tuba

People calling your instrument a different brass instrument

Not being able to use vaseline. Ever.

Having that one responsible prick in the section and not having any fun

Being that one responsible prick in the section and controlling the fun

People laughing when you say your instrument is called a cornet and asking where the ice cream is

Woodwind problems

1. Reeds 2. Reeds 3. Reeds 4. Reeds 5. Reeds 6. Reeds 7. Reeds 8. Reeds 9. Reeds 10. Reeds 11. Someone calling your bassoon an oboe. 12. Having to deal with brass players. 13. Fingerings. 14. Reeds.

We win

flute problems:

1. piccolos 

2. @paultaffanel-official 

3. @cecilechaminade-official 

no we win 

String problems:

Callouses, callouses, callouses

Hahaha big violin right?

Snapping stings in your face

There are so many of you it doesn’t even matter if you’re there or not haha

Fighting to the death for front desk and not even getting a solo

Anything above 5th position (3rd for violas)

Getting stabbed in the eye by a bow

Tchaikovsky vibrato

Slipping pegs

Wtf is a viola?

YOU CAN NEVER HAVE FINGERNAILS THEY MUST BE DESTROYED

Second violins

Everyone trying to find that high note out loud before your entry

Ominous rattling string/instrument

Sweaty hands sliding right off the end of the fingerboard

I could go on….

More strings: 

-Getting new strings and having to retune every 2 minutes 

-New strings are soooo expensive and you’re meant to change them like 3 times a year (seriously I just bought a new set for over £80) 

-When you get your bow rehaired and have to use your less good spare bow for like a week 

-If you wear foundation and play violin or viola expect the foundation to end up all over your chin rest 

-Taking cellos and basses on public transport 

-Trying to find a good instrument and having little idea of where to start and what to expect in your budget 

-With any string instrument case: “is that a guitar?”

-Rosin stains on your black concert clothes

-(for viola) When composers don’t understand how alto clef works so you either get stuff easily within your range or huge awkward shifts etc.

-(also for viola and possibly cello and bass) When composers think that shifting clef so the next notes look around the same area as the last ones on the stave means it’s fine because it doesn’t look like a huge shift when, in fact, it is (I’m looking at you @ottorinorespighi-official *ahem*Pines of Rome mvt 4*ahem*

like it or not that’s a huge shift from 1st to 6th position in nearly no time) 

-When composers change clefs like every 2 bars (again, I’m looking at you @ottorinorespighi-official *ahem*Fountains of Rome mvt 3*ahem*

just why)

-Knowing there’s a definite possibility that the instrument in the back of your car is probably worth more than the car itself (definitely in my case anyway)

Alright y'all I’m gonna add to this

That ring you get on your mouth after you play for a long time

Double tonguing

Triple tonguing

Breath control (especially hard on brass and as a woodwind also, I can say that)

Misplacing your mouthpiece

Not having the right mutes (there are so many and they’re so expensive)

Valve oil - ew.

Slide grease - more ew

Accidentally getting dribble down your leg when you empty your water key

The whole cleaning process

Having a valve fall out and trying to put it in the right way round so it doesn’t sound like an elephant with its thunk tied up

Leaps of over an octave

Trying to pitch low notes well

Being complained at by your family whenever you practise

Being heard by the whole Street when you practise (I had a friend who lived on the same road as another horn player and they would have volume competitions from opposite ends of the road)

People not knowing the difference between a cornet, a trumpet and a flugelhorn

“French horns are French right??”

The slide trumpet vs piccolo trombone argument - they are literally the same thing

Being terrified of denting your new, expensive instrument

Smashing the bell in 😫

Having the biggest freaking music book in the world - arban cornet method literally ways a ton

CARNIVAL OF FREAKING VENICE

Hitting your trombone slide on the people in front of you, or the floor

Having too short arms to reach 7th position

Running out of lip half way through a rehearsal

When introducing your self as a trumpet player and people saying “Oh I’d never have guessed you played trumpet” because you’re neither a boy or an egotistical fuckhead

Living up to your instrument stereotype without realising

Being a girl and playing on your period

Literally not being allowed to play another brass instrument because it’ll ‘mess up your embouchure’ and being banned from touching other instruments by your teacher

Not sounding good until you’ve been playing for atleast 3-4 years (grade 5 for those if us in the UK)

Not having a wide enough range, every note above a C/Bb is a huge challenge to even get to the next semitone

Everyone assuming you like jazz because you play a jazzy instrument (I hate jazz)

Adding some more high brass/valved brass (sorry bones) issues

Mutes fucking with your intonation

Getting a slide STUCK so you can’t tune

Whacking yourself in the mouth with a solid chunk of metal

Having to fork out at least £2000 for various trumpets (most instruments are generally more expensive but pro trumpet players often have to have about 5/6 different trumpets)

Sitting in front a of a cimbasso (cimbassos are LOUD)

Eyebrows (also applies to woodwind players)

Spending hours in the bathroom giving your instrument a bath

Circular breathing, or at least trying to circular breathe

Not having enough time for a mute change

Having a big slurred leap and accidentally ripping up to it like you’re the jazziest motherfucker alive

Overshooting a high note

Undershooting a high note

Ugh just the upper register in general

clarinet problems:

reeds™

yay our instruments are “only” £2.500 (US$3.200) but wait we have to buy at least 2 to be useful

speaking of which: composers who think it takes 2 seconds to switch instruments

also: composers who don’t realise we buy A clarinets for a reason and give us 7 sharps on Bb instead of 2 sharps on A

I’m A Modernist Composer And You Can Gliss Along The Whole Instrument Right

“can you play rhapsody in blue”

concerto repertoire: MOZART!!!!!! weber. ᵒᵗʰᵉʳˢ

I’m Another Modernist Composer And What’s Wrong With C7 At Pianissimo

sitting in front of trumpets (i just did mahler 2, aladdin suite and festive overture. i’m deaf)

I’m Ginastera And I’ll Just Casually Have You Gliss To A Note That Doesn’t Exist On The Clarinet

double tonguing triple tonguing stabmeinthenipple tongueing

martin fröst just. existing

Lol squidWard plays Cleranet!! xD

“this month we’ll be working on a baroque piece called-” ok cool i’m unemployed

joining pit bands for musicals and being expected to play Bb clarinet A clarinet Eb clarinet C clarinet alto clarinet bass clarinet alto sax tenor sax soprano sax oboe cor anglais flute piccolo bassoon contrabassoon and cinderella

fun fact all instruments squeak but you only notice it on clarinets because clarinets squeak on the 3rd harmonic instead of the 2nd

speaking of which: clarinet physics. why can we not have the whole harmonic series. give us the even numbered harmonics i swear to Göd

m*ndelssohn sch*rzo from m*****mer n**ht’s dr**m

piano problems:

really want to play in an orchestra but not good enough to be a soloist and not necessary enough to play regularly

Bassoon problems (pt 2):

reeds

reeds

reeds

reeds

fingering

alternate fingering

alternate fingering for F#

the fact there are 96 ways to finger it and most of them are useless

different areas use different fingerings

tuning

tuning

tuning

reeds

reeds

F#

tuning

expensive as fuck

my reed was good 2 seconds ago but the wind changed direction and now is shitt

did i see a clarinet complain about reeds earlier in this post 

cos no you cant do that

 tuning

you have to learn tenor clef

and when you play in treble occasionally it is written an octave higher than its meant to be and sometimes not and its never written in either

having to explain what it is

“is that the long one”

reeds

tuning

F#

lack of appreciation

F#

pianist problem: when you’re playing on a public piano/at school/literally anywhere and some idiot comes by and just extends his goddamn finger and SMASHES it onto the highest note. REPEATEDLY. absolutely NO. i do not go to a flutist and close one of their keys. I DO NOT RANDOMLY PLUCK A VIOLIN’s HIGHEST STRING. WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT, SIR

Imaginary problems

ENOUGH

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK???????????

His name is Mehdat Mamdouh, he’s a 22-year-old hip hop and dubstep recorder player from Cairo.  He’s been teaching himself this style since he was 14.  This article links to his social media sites.  He’s on Facebook and YouTube and Soundcloud.

I think I missed his name and info last reblog

Fuck yes. That’s some talent!

Reblogging this again for his name and info.

The Mediterranean Sea perfectly fits inside Australia.

Australia do this

if this happened it would drown nearly 5 people

idk man maybe 6 or 7 people, 8 tops.