Lost Calendar

Ironic enough to lose your satanic settlements to the unholy masters of subtle distress. Vague thoughts of our minds have blinded us in the social dilemma of being right. Out of my order of discretion, but someone sometimes has to jump out of their mental state of being in love and be a part of ruth reality. 

'LOVE', apparently a word with a humongous definition carrying all the meaning of life but metaphorically it has evolved to be of a low morale. All social intelligent fools claim love to be as underrated as it is overrated. Indeed it's a beautiful feeling but it brings all the virtues of life in a legitimate way to criminalize one's mentality. 

It was winter 2019 when I was falling for someone, an angel of my dreams. It was like all the mystic forces of this holy and unholy universe were in our favors and all the falling stars prayed for us to be together. 

None had any idea it was a rat trap with cheese tempting to be a prey of a toxic authority which was going to rule over us. It was all gloomy at that glance. Lilies were showering over us sunflowers were glooming facing us although we were 2800 kms apart but none of that mattered. How romantic it could be when you waited hours, days and at times even weeks for just a video call since my angel's family had no idea how the roses were blessing our love. And soon here we were, vacations and our chance to finally meet after 2 months. Tons of plans to meet daily, spend our day together, enjoy the festivities of the moment together and yes, it all worked out. We did exactly as we planned. Although we had small fights, well love is incomplete if you don't fight. Isn't it? It was a moment to cherish and celebrate in the heavenly Garden which was her heart for me. And soon we started to know each other's families. I sometimes wonder how small things can cheer you up in a way like none other can. She just told her sister and my heart pumped out of happiness to be a part of her family. My whole family knew about her since day one. It was soon time when we were all in a global pandemic situation. World was dying and locked up in their houses but good for us, we had more time to stay together. Our houses were merely 3 kms apart. Even though it was locked down all around, no entities could stop us from meeting. It was not difficult at all to arrange a travel pass to roam around the whole city without any restrictions for me since I was working in distribution of masks. But our fights took a different turn then, my angel never sounded so unholy, she started to sound then but who cares when you are in love right? Everything is fair in love. She even tried to cheat on me once then but why should it matter to me. I was blinded with a flower bind of love. We resolved that issue with a love bind that would never be an option again. I could never imagine if I could love someone or something like my angel. I went out of my way to be a servant to her desires. Be it her, her sister, her sister's boyfriend, her brother, her friends or anyone related to her, I made sure I was always there to be at service. Soon this became quotidian, she demanded for stuff and if by any reason I couldn't fulfil it, my family was the one to face her wrath with all the ruthless words one could bear. But it was love right? And everything is fair in love? I didn't even bother to give that a thought and let it be as it was. My angel was my whole world and she could never be wrong. I took all of it in her innocence since she was 2 years younger to me. Since I was head over heels in love with my angel and wanted her all to me so indeed it was quite obvious to be possessive towards her and in my case, I was over possessive. My typical problem was having problems with all her guy friends and because of this she lost almost all of her friends. And why should I not practice such an awful act of drifting her away from her friends, she tried to cheat on me once. Although I was very wrong doing that. I even tried to stop her from wearing dresses. You know, typical Indian orthodoxic thinking, but no, I didn't stop her to do that because of my sick old school mentality but because we were in a small town and considering our reputation in the town makes her at a risk of facing worse things. The Cinderella of my dreams never understood this and we fought and fought over the short intervals regarding the same. Nevertheless, it is pretty normal to have arguments in a relationship and even more normal to get it to the end where my dream girl shatters all my emotions by abusing me and my family. She never resisted doing such things even while having a small friendly argument. But who cares when everything is sugar coated in the love you feel for someone. Over the period of time, we had so many small fights until November, to be precise, November her, while approaching her birthday. Let me rewind our story to October end, when I traveled all the way from Dubai to Gwalior, traveling 13 hours overnight just to surprise her to celebrate my birthday with her. We also had plans to celebrate Diwali together and I didn't want to miss that chance as it was our first Diwali together. On my birthday, it was just us both planning a fancy lunch date and the only thing expected from her was to wear a dress of my choice, while she was the one always fighting with me to wear such dresses. Guess what?, my barbie didn't give me that as my birthday gift. But okay, all I did was travel all the way from one country to another to celebrate my birthday with her, it was not even a big deal, wearing that dress was obviously one. Anyway, it was a pretty good time celebrating festivals together except for the fact that I lost my dog in a road accident which took place just in front of my eyes. She tended to be there for me then as my princess but the princess seldom had a slip of tongue to taunt me on his death while I still am suffering from the PTSD of losing him even after 7 months of the accident. Yeah, so her birthday, November end. I wanted to celebrate her birthday party with me but being stuck in Dubai it was nearly impossible for me to travel back then. I tried to convince my darling girl to celebrate it with me, while I will be back to her in 15 days after her birthday and promised her to celebrate it with a bash. All in vain, as she was the queen of her dreams, she celebrated it without me. We had quite a few arguments over this but all I was in dreamy love. I had plans to travel back to India in January 1st week but rescheduled my trip to December end just to be there to pick her up from her school's farewell party. After all Cinderella needed a ride home. It was a mess anyway, I didn't like her being so close to any other guy in the pictures, and we almost broke up. 

That day was the beginning of the end of our gloomy love story. Since then, we had fights every single day, every single time, from talking to every single moment of our day to not talking for 2-3 days. She kept on blocking me everywhere quite often but it didn't actually stop me from loving her. I kept on begging her not to do this but nothing could convince my doll. I came back to Dubai and only texts she used to send me were to end things up since she claimed that she never wanted this relationship and was just bored enough during lockdown to get out of this relationship. It was like the heavenly garden was opening the doors of hell for me. 

One day, I broke all the couth ethics and invaded the privacy of my barbie. I spied on her to find that a guy was flirting with her and she was entertaining it. Losing my mental peace, I asked her to block him immediately to get the denial of it. After confronting her about it, to my astonishment she decided to end things with me and chose to bad mouth me to that guy. We didn't talk for a few days which brought me to deep desperation. We fixed things up for the time being and I promised to never spy on her again. 

It was not going very good between but my angel was all in a mood to shatter things up, she called me up one day to tell that she was going out with her friends to a party in which there would be a guy who had a thing with her in the past and I obviously didn't like that guy but I knew my angel would never break my trust. And the next thing I knew was her sending me snaps hugging him. My heart almost pumped out after seeing that, she was quite drunk that day. I was on my way to see the doctor since I was feeling anxious when she called me up to tell me that I was never the love of her life but that guy was. This led to my immediate breakdown and next thing I knew was my friends rushing me to the emergency ward of a hospital while me being temporarily paralyzed lying on a wheelchair because of the anxiety attack. My parents, 2800 kms away from me, were worried about me. This brings to an obvious notice that my mom asked one of my friends to text my doll with all the rage to stay away from me. This brought to the end but I didn't want to. We still talked and tried to fix things. I don't know what was she upset about but since she was my princess, she had all the rights to. 

I tried convincing her of my failures and one fine day she called me up and told me that she loves me and wants to get back. I was more than happy with that thought but my possessive soul wanted me to spy more on her. I found her flirting around with three different guys and almost getting into a relationship with them. It was the worst nightmare coming true. I told her that I know about all this which left her all in tears and apparent guilt or was my barbie just shedding crocodile tears? We thought of giving it a break for a few days just to get over the trauma of what happened and the fun part was nothing made her fix her mistakes but to make things worse. She met the brother of one of those guys in his home and also went out with different guys during that course of time. I never wanted to be a villain to my princess but I couldn't control myself then. I unleash my wrath upon her which left her leaving behind all of her friends just to show me that she is trying to fix all of that. 

Very next day, my doll's sister called me up to show her anger towards me for bringing her sister into depression. Ironically it was all my fault. Perhaps it could be, since she is my princess. It was all going reverse then, it was her who was trying her best to get back with me and fix things up but the extent of damage had crossed all the boundaries until then. It was not easy to let go of my mind what happened and I realized to be the King of my vision and let things go off. Although I didn't want to, I wanted to be a part of my life always but this could not have been possible now. It was all gone. My princess scattered from a beautiful snake to a butterfly and flew away. I wonder if it was not love then what was it? 

Seduction of human adorable life is worth more than thousand wonders available in this social dance of human disaster. 

All of this broke me into a thousand pieces, seeing my goddess oh heaven turn into queen of hell. I never cried for anything in my life, but her. She made me fall into tears every single day. The beauty of this love story was that it never existed. Towards the end, it was me who sent my metaphoric doll tons of voice recordings while I was crying out loud in literal tears and loud noises to stop doing this to me and bind our souls, she was unaffected but expected me to be responsive when she shed her apparent tears. 

Sometimes, life is not fair, people come into your life to define what your legit life could be. My dreams of starring her in the blockbuster film of my life shattered at once. I am left alone once again in this cruel democratic world. My eyes rolling down to find true love, my heart struggling to accept that love exists. My brain demotivates me to open up while my soul still knows, someone, somewhere, out there will come to rescue this dying soul in the fertility of Satan, seduced by demons. In this spherical ball of billions of entities, my life revolves in a box of love with limiting down my mental interaction with those who love, while I crave for someone who can be a part of my little, cuddly world.

My Umbrella

Why is it always a question which defines our equity to this modern world, what have I done to be a part of all this? Stigma of this modern society led us all to a mental dilemma where we question our very own existence in an uncouth way and begin the destruction our our mental peace.  

Shattering down my mental monologue and pushing my thinking forward to legitimize it into the real world, I craved to survive. The demonic phase came into fatal existence when one of my mate forced me to a breakdown for which he was promoted to next level of self-satisfaction. It fed his/her ego and made me realize how wrong I was to prey on humanity. 

Sympathy is the key to humanity, well not now, Sympathy is the new dynamite to fall for. Claiming yourself to be prude in the matter of lusty pride is the new definition of acquiring the status of ultimacy in society. How can it be so satisfactory to defend your vile ego by smothering the existence of one of your own kind?

Charles Darwin said this world to be the survival of the fittest. Over the ages, this putrid society has altered the definition of fittest. Struggling with the actual understanding of this, I requested the almighty to permit me to explore. I was gifted with the power to sustain the vicious filth of this society. I came down to meet hypocrites, who wanted to cuddle my soul to be one of them. As a part of this drill, I went to the streets of this sullied world filled with the scum of agony caused by the demons of this society. None of these living scrags had even a single spill of holiness left in them, all they craved for was power, money, ego and to conclude their sickening desires they preyed upon the nauseating growth of algae called humans. All I could see here was a race to show ultimacy of oneself and depletion of the soul next to you. I was hitched to the cups of this never-ending decade of legitimate crimes under the hook of success. 

This world is a happy place until you realize you are living in the world of fantasies, while you go out and see the vicious circle of nauseating hypocrisy and  impulse of demonic souls to prey on your failures to see their success. 

I say good bye to this trend and begin the new era of social togetherness under My Umbrella where none faces the tragedy of dying soul and lives up to the confidence of personal happiness. Welcome to a neighborhood, called my Umbrella, where being alone is normal, having your own definition of success is normal, being poor is normal, having your own desires to mark your life is normal, spending too much is normal and saving up for your future is normal. No judgements given, it’s your state of mental happiness. Here we medicate dying soul and mark the end of the agony caused by the demons of this nauseating society. 

Plastic Humans

Such a calamity to define disharmony of human emotions. Faking around is so absurd that it’s terrorizing your true identity. Sensual touch to your vague heart is so important that it’s been hard to mock the gratification of mental terrorism.

Sedimentation of true feelings is as important as using a helmet while riding a motorcycle. Sometimes it’s so peculiar, to just deposit an amount of your true self to your own ego. And here comes the devil, EGO. A three letter word yet defining itself in a humongous way. I believe, it’s nature’s right to defend one’s ego but when it comes to destruction, none of the entities plays a fair game. 

Deep down we all know our feelings settle for none less than our comfort play. Defining the road of our satisfaction is much better than ruling over the road defined by someone else. If you get it, you get it. On the tracks of human emotions, it’s a failure to mock our relations with other humans. Your existence won’t be enough if it’s a fake reputation of your ego reliant soul. 

People comment on your life, which you chose for yourself, yet it’s difficult for you to outcast those people rather you choose to allow them to replace your true existence with a corrupt one. Sometimes it’s better to express rather than repress your emotions opening to a vague community of anti-social scums. Our movement is a mark in the timeline of our entity, it’s expected to be a definition  of your desired motives, making you a happy soul.

It’s a stigma to our satanic ego to have a soul ran by motives desired by hypocrites of our nauseating society. A life of your own mark is better than darkening it with shadows of vultures. 

Human race is a fake territory. Hypocrites define your aura while your ego handles the dilemma of your self conscious life. You choose to suffer rather than struggle and end up lying in a phase of perpetual mockery of human entity. Bluntly, human race is the new definition of fake; an endless loop which powers the social life of humans.   

Toxic Masculinity

Assumptions based on male dominant society in today’s era still exists. Denial of them would be unjust to the actual criminology created by the hypocrite men in our society, claiming themselves to practice equality in the name of their REPUTATION. Foul hopes and vague signals from their side, adds to the agony of the condition while they are the ones enjoying their dominance. 

Feudalism in regards with these dominants have rise up to a platform making not only roads or public places but social media too unsafe for women. Imagine stepping into a world or creating a world for your daughters or sisters where no one except for none can make them feel safe under the feet of these nauseating societal criminals. 

Hopes for a finer expectancy in the crowd of proud men, a lost soul is enough to fall a prey to the mockery of hypocritical feminist and MGTOW society. There is no denial to the theme of men dictating our modern society as well. Men, unaware of their toxic male ego, depreciate their own value crawling and preying over weaker women and playing foul when blamed for any. Pillars of our society are so frail and overrated which allows a group of scums to perform their stunts under the name of Reputation. 

Entering this vicious circle of commanding yet meaningful tribulation of toxic men allegations, people decided never to step back and make a deal to bombshell the naive society. Women weaken themselves and blame it up in the name of Feminism while they are the ones surrendering themselves to these demons of society. Understanding their own values in this vulgar era is as important as guarding their own reputation. Women, stop mocking in the name of feminism rather go up and kick the shit out of those retards. 

Reputation under the influence of vexation and a state to prove the existence of mail dominance is not a sign of Masculinity rather a sign of agony to your own mental wellness. 

Shaming on social media, arguing instead of battling for your own wars, relaxing the situation while you are still in agony is not enough ladies, rise up and grab the male dominance and subdue this toxic mentality off our nauseating society. Take your stand and finish it off instead of settling with it. 

All the blessings...

Butterflies all around, fragrance of daffodils, sunset never felt so beautiful, morning rays never made me so joyous and prayers never sounded more meaningful. I didn’t know what was wrong but peculiar. A humongous phrase which would define this could be very underrated but ideal could be, 

“An atypical phenomenon which made me bestow to my own emotions.”

Enjoying the vibes of this lovely feeling, I let my heart overtook my brain. For the first time it felt so prudent to let my heart rule. Dancing with the emotions on such underrated song of happy notes, I realized how complete I am now. I feel like I have never been better. My mocking life had a meaning now and I felt responsible. 

Al the way long I didn’t discern what was it, so I started digging into it. My search took me to a heavenly path. Walking on a flower bed, I reached a place full of beautiful souls. I realized I was in the garden of the Almighty’s palace. I went to thy and appealed for the guidance. Thee took me to a passage which led me to my soul. I was astonished to see it covered with lilies and taking bath in a pond full of lotuses. Having no clue of what was going on, I was taken to the museum of love which made me realize, the pond my soul was bathing in was filled with love and I was blessed with love. 

Full of jubilation, I came back proposing my gratitude to the Almighty. All those times I couldn’t realize it but now I know. I am finally blessed with love. Such a mystique feeling it is to be in love and the best phase is falling in love with your soulmate. The Almighty blessed me with all I needed and I ever wanted. Who said, love is not true? If you are blessed with one everything is true. The purest and most dignified thing is always scared with the scars of filth. Nevertheless if you learn to appreciate it the scars are never visible. And the thing is one should worship what is true and define our own sense of faith.  

Who am I ?

Struggling with my own emotions, I never gave up. By the virtue of which I had that thought of healing everyone around me with the vibes they entailed. I packed the bag full of love and the journey began. 

Not way back in time, I was drained in my emotions full of desolation around me. I could feel the presence of no one around me but my own sabotaged soul. Such an irony to my own condition that my soul ate up my own soul still it gave all the healing strength. Cursing my own condition, I wished if ever someone close to me ever let a single tear down their eyes, my absence should be out of question and my presence should always guarantee their happiness. 

Carrying the burden of melancholy, my sole rose up to take this journey. Offering my prayers and seeking blessings from the almighty, I decided to opt other’s pain as mine. It hurts, to be very honest, to carry your own sorrow with other’s as well, though it also gives satisfaction to not to see others in despair. I realized that it was the only way to overcome my pain.

All went well, I could make people a part of my life, perceive them and be a reason for the smile on their face. It was all like a fantasy where I had a mask over my face. Well said, “One incident can shatter the whole of you.” Under the cover of happiness, I forgot my actual stand. I forgot who I was to even venture to be part of their life. I failed to understand that in a way I was adding more to their pain. No matter how good my intentions were, I hurt them. I defined the beauty of happiness in an unholy way with a nauseating act of metaphoric bitter kindness. 

Moving on with this regret, there could now be no coming back. In a way, I thought I was getting healed but this added more to it now. The wish I made was now in my head but hands were bounded by me being no one to them. Here I am now, dealing with my own problems while leaving others with theirs back again. 

Answering the question in the title, I am no one to deal with others shit while I am the one single guy full of all the bitterness one could expect and one day tries to collect to his own pieces but falls down chanting his own ragas of unworthy happiness. 

Calamitous Lust

Such a strange denomination of factors which define our desires for life. What a clever dream it was which gave me a feeling of foul admiration in hope of turning it into reality which actually can never turn into reality. Craving for such metaphoric gloomy life I realized the sinful path of Lust.

Chasing the fire of life is a mouth watering dream come true. The thought itself sounds so positive but in the society full of lust to knock down everyone else glitters like a Star in sky negates every positive. We forgot that sky is full of millions of stars not one. Our lust for money, appreciation, sex, love, being the best, luxury, power, satisfaction, fame, and everything else which satisfies our human soul and blinds our humanity has destroyed the very sense of sanity.

Taking the liberty to confront the goddess of Wisdom, I requested for wings to travel through the insane minds of society. Demonstrating this ability, I traveled the world using the wings gifted to me by the goddess and went through the minds of individuals in the society. What comes next is full of filth and crooked desires. Allegory of this nauseating society comes to an end when you perceive the intentions of human kind are to such extent where they can murder or do worse things to others just to satisfy their lust. I saw people betraying their folks for money, I saw entrepreneurs craving to destroy their business rivals in every possible way, I saw goons killing or  intimidating others just for money and power, and variegated other issues with the insane minds of every human soul. 

To say not everyone is filled with those desires is erroneous, not a single individual exists who has any foul intentions in this dirty game, one claiming this proves their existence as a branch in the tree of hypocrisy. Defining our legit class with such an unholy demonstration of aggression in the name of success is how they justify their lust. Creating a disaster for their own they blame the entities for the same. No understatement but our society has entered such stage where they have suffocated their minds with pagan desires. 

Stating that Lust is dangerous sounds so vague, Lust is crude makes it too obvious and Lust is a calamity is what justifies its true definition. 

The society has completely shamed its existence just to prove their unworthy worth. This impious act of calamitous lust has drowned the society to the very base of a deep ocean where there is no hope until the lords show their mercy. I surrendered my ability to the goddess as the journey sickened me and showed my ultimate end while I was just trying to assume this society was not smothering. Beware of this crucial stage of Lust! 

Incongruous Feminism

Such a dusty storm in our society it is that fighting for rights is no longer a quotidian practice to follow harmony but a lead to scattering chaos and vulgarity. Death is not only when a person dies but also when a person lost it’s individuality. So is with our nauseating society. Crucial equality is such a vague word when our society fails to manage equality to different individuals from generations to generations.

Back in 19th century, women fought for their rights, they stipulated equality. Feminism rose and brought a wave all over the globe to fight for women rights but the movement was mislead and they neglected the word EQUALITY and superimposed men below them. Metaphorically the equality is achieved but it seems like women are clamoring revenge for the previous men ruled age.

Harassing men for sex and money, misusing the advantages of women safety in constitution, ignoring crime against men by women is so quotidian these days. Falling to be a prey of the tree of hypocrisy is such idea to go for. They say prostitution is illegal but they harass men for sex, they say men and women have equal rights to gain custody of their child while divorce but women are given more favoritism, they say all individuals are equal under the law but they are ones who fight to gain a soft side when it comes to crime. This all led to FAKE FEMINISM.

Well said, “Never give an individual more than what they deserve, they will one day burn you themselves.”

Feminism was true, but fake feminism is what to be eradicated. But the criminality of our society will never allow that. One or the other should be superior. That’s what how it works right? To fuck with all that is happening around, I say men deserves what women does and women deserves what men does. This is a war against equality. Special rights in the constitution were given to women in order to let them enjoy what men does as they were being neglected by the society, but ironically they now misuse all those rights to destroy men. They send goons to beat up a boy in a college, they misuse their husband’s money to achieve what they want, they use their boyfriends to buy them what they want like a sugar daddy.

If you want to buy good stuff, go ask your parents or better earn it yourself. Don’t just offer sex to men and get what you want. And if you want sex in exchange of money fight to get prostitution legitimate like you fought for the equality. Men are not your sex slaves or your ATM or what so ever you regard them to be. They are beings who demand love and in exchange get your filth.

Equality is a right, not a luxury. Supremacy is not a thing to boast about but rather a piece of shit occupying a part of your brain. Demand what is yours and let others have what is for them. The hypocrites in our society fail to understand such a cardinal thing.

Feminism was a must to gain equality for women but if bifurcated when the fake feminism enrolled it’s name in the list of competitors for criminality.

Dancing Dictionary

Such a mockery to our orthodoxy society which manipulated the definition of the dictionary, which apparently defines every word, to an extent that now it possesses a different definition of itself for the people of different class, category and gender. Although it was quite normal to have a diversified society but to prevent a sudden exchange of verbal conversation and censor it is demonstrating the true intentions undignified rule. 

The quotidian practice of this loutish society to be ignorant towards women, though in today’s time when is no polarity left between men and women, we as a society have deputed a different verbal file for women. Feminism was real and so in MGTOW for men now but I awe that the perforation is yet to be packed up. Men can boast and roast about their male sexual parts so confidently while the females lack the audacity to even talk about their menstrual phase. Such a stigma to our so very overrated MODERN SOCIETY which obviates females to discuss a part of their life. How does that even satisfies the manly pride of a man? 

Periods, which are just a part of their life cycle is regarded as a thing of very low morale. Women are made felt obliterated if they talk openly about periods, they are thought to be uncultured, vulgar while they are just discussing their quotidian problem. And why does just this only word doom their existence; if a women is heard talking about sex, using a sort of slang or something like that; her reputation will be ruined. It’s such an irony in our system that girls talking about male reproductive parts or even sex are announced as sluts while if guys do the same they are pronounced as studs. 

The boundaries of societal limits considering genders are so distorted that calling ourselves the people of 21st century sounds so vague. 

Determining the status of women is so difficult, despite of so many feminist women when women have gained a status equal to men it is still hard to consider their status as equal as men. The hypocrites in the society asserts the complete declaration of women’s status as equal as men’s while they are the only one diminishing their very much freedom in the name of culture in an uncultured way. 

I wonder what caliber of culture barricades a woman talking about their periods, sex which is as conventional as anything else. Women can deeply suffer with their menstrual pain but can’t share to their sufferings to minimize it. This system legit forces me to abscond from here and be a part of new world free from sexism and other discrimination; where everyone is at peace and ease, no matter who they are. Shout out to this new world. 

Calling it Democracy?

While this is quotidian to cry for our perpetual state of agony, we also assert to be the highest democracy in the world. Democracy? All the citizens of the country  with no relevance to their age, caste, class and gender are equal under the law? Perhaps the actual definition of website has altered itself to - ‘A public propaganda to contest elections and fight to be on the board of a business with no losses, POLITICS.’ 

While in 1947 we were freed from the British rule, we still are ruled by the norms of Divide and Rule. Though, it’s not wrong to call our country a democratic country, after all we elect our rulers and choose the government which is what democracy is all about, but mockery in our system is to such extend that they broadcast propaganda to be a part of this money making factory. They can go to any extent to win a seat without even contemplating the true meaning of Democracy. What a stain on this beautiful fabric of our great nation. 

They say women should be treated equally in the society while they are the ones who make Metro rides free for women; they say men & women deserve same job opportunities while they are the ones who reserve special seats for women in government job; they say every individual is equal under the law while they are the ones who punish men fatally than women for the same accusation; they say both the parents have equal right on their child while they are the ones who make it strenuous for men to take the custody of their child in a divorce. The list is legion. It is apparently a lust to divide, not to unite. 

Not disregarding the fact that back in days women were not treated equally as men. There were times when they were not qualified to make a public appearance; there were times when female infanticide was killed in it’s mother’s womb before even stepping into this world of unconventional hypocrisy; there were times when women were regarded just as sex figures; there were times when a women was burned alive with her husband after his death. This apparently gave rise to Feminism. With getting all the support, it triumphantly helped women get their deserved place in society. Although some places in our country are still struggling for these rights, and they are the ones who actually need the buttress now. 

Such an irony that a positive movement of that aura is now used as just a mean to win a seat in this money making factory. Feminism was a movement but the sensitivity if this issue makes this a direct entry to the parliament. Our country is losing it’s greatness. While assuming out the actual criminal which led to the destruction of our great nation in general public, the pillars of our nation ignored the one sitting in those decorated offices. From once exhibiting the most wealth and culture to today promoting false democracy, we have led down the flag of our great nation. 

Democracy is what they say, while the definition is what they ignore. Equality is merely a word of zero gravity while divide and rule is what they support. 

Knocking on the door...

There was this beautiful weather, which I was living in my garden of flowers. Red Roses, Yellow Daffodils, White Lilies and all the other flowers added to the beauty of that day. There were differently mystic vibes which I could feel that day. Everything appeared to be so glamouring  and cherishing and then there was a knock on the door. 

Opening the door, I saw no one outside. I came back to the garden but it was not all the same. I was filled with happiness and felt my different aura. Flowers appeared to be brighter and the wind carried a better fragrance. The clouds seemed talking to me in sign language and birds were chirping and relaxing in my garden. It was a beatific moment for me. I wanted to marry this new feeling and never get a divorce. I was metaphorically in the blissful garden of heaven. I felt like all the Gods summoned me and were blessing me with their positive vibes.

All the heavenly forces were attracting me while I realized there was a life outside my garden as well. All it seemed so wonderful walking on the same roads like they were all new for me. Singing the songs and dancing on the roads I reached by the river bank. Ironically, this time not to catch fishes but to define the beauty of those fishes and the river. Something was very different which perhaps could not be defined. Enjoying the moment I turned my car’s music to full volume and was up for a long drive. Every word of every song was seeming so meaningful then. It was like I was writing my own story without actually knowing what the theme was. 

Sitting on the top of a cliff, I realized what actually it was. Apparently this thing had no definition but a beatific aura of its own. Well, it had a root going to that knock on my door. It was the most beautiful and precious feeling which knocked on my door. 

It was LOVE knocking on the door... 

Aging Puberty

Starving for fame in the culture of this uncultured synchronizing of substantial abuse game with title of BEING COOL, I started a new journey, which apparently led to destruction of my inner-self, just to satisfy the reputation of my foully glorified soul in the group of people with fake reputation. 

It was not way back in time when I felt happy like happy, happy in my life without any idea of what a glorified image is. Coming out of simplicity, I had my own aura of being my true self and gentle me. Having like-minded friends seemed so good. But well said, “A human soul can never be satisfied.” I never asked for what I am today, perhaps it was the atmosphere sounded like Demand of The Situation which took me into the world of darkness, ironically which seemed brighter than the actual world. Apparently it was the glare of foul life which attracted me towards it. “Beauty of something can only be felt once it has gone”, is now what I realize to be true. 

DEPRESSION is such a cool term for the teenagers, especially when one has been through a breakup in recent times. It was the time when I had a breakup with my crush, with whom I was in a virtual relationship, I was dumped by getting friend-zoned. Carrying the curse of madly being in love with that girl, I met a group of people who were labelled as the COOLEST in the college. They pretended to be my friend and comforted me. They gave me a MAN’S THERAPY, that’s what they called it. They handed me a bottle of beer and lit me up cigarette. “College life gives you many foul attractions”, is what followed me next. Within 15 days I started smoking a pack of cigarette daily and consumption of hard liquor.  

Whew! I felt so happy that time, being high on alcohol was actually good, but that was not enough for me. Gradually I got into weed, hash, cocaine, and other drugs. Without realizing what I was actually doing to my body, I enjoyed the moment. I never had to even think of my so called Love ever again. I almost fell in love with everything I saw, that was the level of my intoxication. 

Sooner in time then, I realized I lost all control over myself. I indulged myself into fights, even slapped one my teachers once for asking me to answer the question I didn’t know. All the time it was being difficult for me to differentiate between what was real and what I was hallucinating. After expulsion from the college and being a drug addict I was thrown out of my house by my parents. Though it was quite obvious outcome of my foul deeds. But this all didn’t stop me in-fact, it gave me a reason to intoxicate me more. 

It was then a homeless me starving for drugs and stealing from people to afford my daily drug needs. Sleeping on the footpath, I never felt a need for a house but can’t resist drugs. It was like a bad habit which I wanted to marry to. Not to my astonishment I was caught by the police for stealing and was proven guilty for substantial abuse and theft. I landed up into a rehab center for 6 months and here I am now thinking how many lives I destroyed just to satisfy my own lust for fake glory. 

Adultery has lost the actual me and after all this I have no turning back than to realize what all I have lost. 

Drunk Us, High Environment

While the Goddess of Environment summoned me to answer for the sins of sacrificing the beauty of Earth for the sake of unconditional comforts and cheap thrills and asked to answer for my crimes during the testimony of my case in the court of holy and unholy masters, I was not in a state to answer for my sins, apparently because I was drunk with unconventional motive of disasters. Cursed by her Holiness, I never could get high ever and I was taken aback with the fact I actually had nothing which could prove me innocent. I was very much guilty of harming environment to such extent that there was no turning back. Though my act was intentionally unintentional, I was penalized. Negotiations of my penalty set on to going back to Earth and feel the insanity of people towards the destruction of Environment. 

It was no astonishment that I found everybody to be drunk and high on the intoxication of fame and desperate destruction desires build on foul enmity towards the environment. I decided to start a journey and travel the world with the help of wings gifted to me to complete my journey. Mocking on my own condition, I came across a group of hypocrites who claimed to be a part of Environmental Protection Team but apparently disregarded the true meaning of it. Campaigning to save environment they forgot that they drove there in an old diesel car and were distributing brochures which were made up of paper made out of cutting down trees. While I just saw the trailer, I couldn’t miss the whole film. I traveled more, “Discoveries are a wonderful gift”, is what I actually realized that day. 

 Wonderful isn’t it? When you feel the clouds of smoke getting into your head when you fly over an industrial area. That dense black smoke was making it impossible for me to just pass that area. I can’t even define what disasters it would be doing to the people, trees, rivers and environment around. From up, all I could see was the faded Earth. 

Trees were dying, marine life was seeing its end, water was for what people were fighting for. Summarizing, human life in fact our whole planet was coming to an end. We all were drunk and therefore we could not feel the pain of the Goddess of Environment and apparently our mother Earth was facing the actual pain. The irony in this whole scenario is that we, humans, were drunk and Environment was getting high. 

Droughts, Floods, Earthquakes, Tsunamis, Cloud-bursts, Land-slides are just turning up to be quotidian. It seems like Ecology system is giving us the signals but we couldn’t take it and it’s going to be disasterous in coming times. 

Concerned about the human life, I returned back to the court and shared my views and concerns. All that happened was I realized my own sins giving my own statements. As per my appeal, I undertook the responsibility of curing this curse, but soon I realized that it can not be me, it is US who can do it. Till the time we are drunk, we are bringing us close to death. 

If wondering who am I? I am the demonic angel of your inner-self, which makes me, everyone of you. Cheers to the human-kind.  

Vague Signals

Insanity of people is to such extent that our system demonstrates a different language to communicate, apart from thousands of verbal languages, signals. Perhaps these were used to ease our mode of communication but ironically it has more cons than pros. It is such a hopeless situation when you have a quotidian habit which was apparently beneficial if understood well, but the moment we understand the legit condition of our society, we do not step aside in mocking our own society. 

Getting the point of view of our hypocritical society: (Hypothetical Situation) A girl getting into pub in a crop top and mini skirts. Two point of views considering two parties. Girls: “I am a bold, liberal girl, who can carry herself and dress as I wish to.” Boys, apparently from a non-liberal background, “That girl looks so hot and her short dress posses her easy going attitude. She is perfect to score tonight.” 

Such a basic thing of wearing a short dress can give such negative signal to that category of creeps in our society. Imagine winking in a friendly way can do disasters then. Not ignoring the preys of society to the chronic disease of hypocrisy, these which includes most of our population claims to be so open minded and liberal in their thoughts but shows such a poor show of vulgarity and cheapness. 

Kudos to the masters of our society who supported the claim to fall for such a disastrous evil who somehow manages to rule our society and make us herds following a devil. The situation is such girls can’t even ask guys for help as it encourages perhaps gives them a chance to flirt with the girls in their own sweet vulgar way. Such a shame to our LIBERAL society where it is taboo to be friendly. 

History taught us to be kind to and worship women, soon it changed to torturing women with their own traditions and now, though we claim to be liberal and be out of it, we torture women in our own foul ways. 

Giving them a sort of freedom does not make their or any one’s life better. It’s just we have to change ourselves and make ourselves believe that women or anyone is no less than us and is born with the equal rights as us. So let’s not kill their soul and let just their body live like a slave chained. 

Metaphoric Kings

Indeed it’s the world considering democracy hitting over the feudal monarch episode. While the communal differences make their ways, the unified mentality of hypocritical modernism defines a different aura. Their language talks about the true believe in communal harmony and considering their support to communal lifestyle. Not very uncommon, this society is a hypocrite. Practiced something what is believed and apparently preached by us is a taboo. Certainly our system is a complete mockery in itself but perhaps we still have a beam of light putting in efforts to pull us out of this dark phase. 

Agony of people these days simply states our societal conditions but still there are some rather many who consider themselves to be the king, metaphorically. Their instincts prove their such approach but contradictory their synthetic life speaks differently. All what is demanded is a lavish, luxurious, glamorous life and the lust for the same paralysis our life and rests ourselves to a state which shows our ironic image as kings while we could not even rule the motives of our lives. Such a pathetic yet wonderful feeling it is to see ourselves a part of monarch community. 

Well said, “Even a mouse believes himself to a lion in his pit.” Although it’s irrelevant to the whole theme but still it sounds so amazing. Just reflecting the context of king in the phrase it make such irrelevant piece so interesting. This is exactly what is quotidian in our fake lives. Our irrelevant demands, which seems so decorated, made us a slave to them. We follow our motives to achieve those irrelevant demands and fall before societal demon as a prey to it in the name of VAGUELY MOTIVATED DREAMER. 

Our demands for slaves in the face of so called servants, supporting staff, chauffeurs, or name it anyone apparently forced to legal slavery, unethical and immoral in many ways, increases just to satisfy our lust for so lavish lifestyle and obviously to boast out our heavy wallets. Isn't we gone too wild to just prove our existence in the society as rich and famed ones? 

Trust me sometimes I believe it’s all a prophecy which will one day pull us down to show our legitimate class and standards and push is into the state which will provide us with nothing but agony and that will show us who is the king on the first place. Time is cruel and apparently the actual king. 

The stigma of our society is such that it neglects the presence of time as the actual king, perhaps it is the only thing which rules our destinies, and shows their presence as individual kings popping out of every corner of the street.

Indeed it is what it is ought to be, we should be ruling our own lives, but the king in us gathered it’s slaves around and is now making the lives of those people miserable. Such a pity to our society and it’s hypocrisy that it’s twenty first century and we still can not control the king in ourselves and restricts it’s limits to us. Wonderfully expressed these are the METAPHORIC KINGS.  

‘Welcome To The Market- SOCIETY‘

Suck a kinky feeling it’s to go out now. Apparently no place is left untouched by the stigma of this new market called SOCIETY. Such great feeling it is as to find a market every corner where you have everything to buy. Be it chips, crockery, emotions, relations, honesty or anything you name it and it’s there. Amazing isn’t it? Perhaps it is the demand of hypocritical society which took us to have such sublime place around us.

This market is low-key concealed. It is unknown yet visited my many. I realized the presence of this marvelous place when tired of unheard sanctimony, I decided to explore out of the brackets.  Unaware of the pseudo execution of this market I stepped in exhilarated. Such marvelous I felt at first and when traversed more I realized everyone is selling something or other. The man next me waled a girlfriend at the cost of his dad’s money, the other one bought a friend, apparently one who is gonna bring him down. I was quite fascinated. I walked in and in, soon I found myself in a maze which had no way out because that was actually the society. The deep, intense truth of this world struck me that time. I found myself to be such a dolt to be unaware by this truth.

No wonder that changed my perception to this nauseating society. Society seemed so actual now as it showed me what actually it is. Game is on I thought and went on further exploration. Such a trauma this decision seemed like. Apparently emotions were more in demand but ironically people had more materialistic approach. Money, Bank Balance, Status made them more or less a herd following the unrealistic God, POWER. This was so foolish I realized but felt do helpless as this was the nauseating reality. Perhaps I and some more denied the existence of this but the truth was undeniable.

I wanted freedom, maybe not everyone, but this is what is prerequisite. How cool it sounds to have what you want but not what you need, you can get everything in this market but divine life, and that is what is expected and needed. In the end it’s just us for whom we are responsible for not for every counterfeit thing you buy from this market.

I tried but Alas, I failed, this market is a great ruler, it manipulated everyone’s mind in such a way that they refuse to accept the real life and fall for this hoax. Such a criminal act it is to destroy the society but ironically and off course hypocritically we refuse to register it as criminal, moreover worship it.Tired of this all I am now introducing you this market, so yeah ‘Welcome To The Market- SOCIETY’

Cactus’s Flower

Carrying a bag flaunting Burberry in bold letters, I walked out of a shopping mall. After ordering a pizza costing $25, I walked out of the store and waited for my chauffeur to get the car. Two boys apparently twelve years old caught my attention. I never could imagine something so gloomy until that moment. 

Those paper thin boys with grubby appearance were stealing food from dustbins. Certainly their parents could not afford a single proper meal which made them rest to such unhygienic food supply. Holding a box of pizza made me feel so ashamed of me. I asked those boys not to eat those left over stale piece of craps, which they claimed to be the only thing they could have, and offered them my pizza. The way they retaliated to my gesture filled my eyes with tears. Perhaps dining at the restaurants with the bill that would be more than the combined income of every member of the boys’s family made me forgot the how expensive actually food is. One of those boys planned to eat a single slab out of 5 from his share and keep rest for his family and the other one planned to keep it safe for the next few days to eat a single bite daily. 

I insisted them to eat the whole there itself as they were famished but they were firm with their planning. To let them carry the pizza home, I bought them two more pizzas with some other food items as well, although I asked that little boy to eat every thing the same day as it will harm his health then. This statement sounded so vague to me .I wondered since so how long they would be eating rancid food. 

This whole incident disturbed my mental peace. While sitting in an air conditioned car, I thought of their agony, struggling outside in hot with no facility of comfort. I wanted to do something for such people but couldn't decide what should I be doing. Providing them with food apparently for few day will not relieve them for their perpetual pains. 

Not many days passed since then, I saw an old women, perhaps my grandmother’s age, sitting out on footpath. Seemingly she was sick, crying in pain but bounded with the poverty, she couldn't even cry for help. Her conditions reflected her miseries. I walked to her asking if she need any help. The only expression I could then see on her face was pain, severe pain. Such pain can’t even be described through words. I was so depressed to see her anguish, I decided to leave all my work and asked her family for their permission to take her to a hospital. Her grandson agreed to come along along. I drove them to one of my friends who was a doctor in a 5 star hospital. As we reached hospital, her grandson interrogated me on whether we are going to a hotel or hospital. Apparently hospitals for them was a small, half wrecked building, with no doctors available.

After diagnosis the doctor was quite serious, she insisted me to let her be in the hospital as she was suffering with tuberculosis and might approach her end soon. I was in complete shock. After knowing this by her family, they gave a cry of not having money and wanted to take her back to the footpath and leave her dying. Her husband suffered similarly with cancer. That was indeed a moment of severe emotions for me. The hospital decided to treat her free of cost as a charitable cause. Extreme gratitude was shown by them but it was not it. There were apparently thousands dying in the same way. 

Handicapped by my thoughts, I saw a couple ill-treating a young boy who approached them begging for some food. I, though stopped them, thought how can people show such a nauseating behavior to these under-privileged ones. This certainly reflects the stigma of the well educated society. From that day onwards I had a completely different view at things around me. I visited station or temples quite often but I never paid any attention to these people but now when ever i visit these places, all I see is agony of these people. How they are mistreated and out-casted by the society. 

It’s like I am rich, I have a right to live but you are poor by money and hence you have no right to a basic good life. Excuse me, that is indeed not accepted. God can fuck up any one’s life any day. Tomorrow you might be the one begging and he might be living in the mansion. Richness is not reflected by money, your personality and approach to different things is what makes you rich. And that is what should be cherished not your fucking heavy wallet. 

After a lot of though process, I rested upon starting up an NGO providing education, health facilities, sanitation and other basic amenities of life. But my boundaries are limited to some of these people. I took a step and hope that everyone else does. Not everyone can start an NGO or something similar but at least they can be kind to these gentle souls. 

Quotidian Hypocrisy

Starving for a better life, I wandered. While wandering I entered a community of intelligent fools. Undoubtedly people in this community have the best persona. They are keen to find mistake in others and apparently correct them. Such a wonderful act of community service. Quite impressed by their attitude, I took a pause and took a closer look. To my astonishment I saw these wonderful people committing the same mistake they exhibited their expertise in. I satisfied my thoughts by assuming that to be a unintentional sin but that repeated without giving me a chance to figure out. I was low-key confused. I then became a surprise guest to few more people of that community assuming that there would be some exceptions. It was such a shame on me that I doubted the  filth of the labeled nauseating world. I still hoped to find at least a handful people not a prey to the stigma of HYPOCRISY. The sad truth is I was forced to walk back perturb not by the adversity reflected by those people but perhaps because I have lost my path. 

People say, “Never Lose Hope”. I thought of giving another try. After walking miles, some communities didn't allow me to enter, their negative vibes kept me to boundaries, while some portrayed even worse conditions of hypocrisy. Tired of all this bullshit I walked back to my home which had a sign board saying- ‘Hypocrisy Free Zone’. I wondered if I this signs could be on the every corner of the roads. Even if it would have been there, hypocrites would have ruled the world. They apparently could have refused to follow it themselves but wore the police uniform to petrol others. 

Imagining hypothetical situations does not charge a price, and you indeed have enough time by voiding a bit of your precious time spent on various unproductive activities; so let’s imagine the growth of the world at large keeping aside the countries divided by the boundaries on map when the demon, hypocrisy, will be defeated and we will work independent of his oppression under our own influence. Every other person will be doing what they are supposed to do and nothing will go wrong. Perhaps the destructive EGO will also not be a part of our life anymore. 

This world will be completely different place to live. With healthy learning and productive growth, this world will see a new sunshine. Positive rays of happy relationships will glow our faces with charming smiles. We will be bidding adieu to the worry lines and welcoming the richness of of our pure heart. Such a beautiful world it would be.

But then we realize our imagination capacity me its end and our happiness due the thought of graceful world flipped to the sorrow of the current painful world. However hope for this merry world will one day actually turn up to be a reality, only condition if we teach ourselves to break the prison of hypocrisy. I have a dream to walk into the divine world one day hand in hand with every other human on this planet. 

Recycling Friends

Indeed we loose many things while growing from teenage to adulthood or maybe in our teenage. Perhaps getting over those lost things is the only way to move on in life but is that it? No hard feelings? No emotions with the things lost? The societal norms states that these sort if feelings make a perfect fit for today’s high velocity world but it still makes me think about my agony on loosing my water bottle which was my companion for two years. 

It’s a matter really to think upon that does it only hurts me or others feel the same. Apparently those brave people are indeed hurt on loosing stuffs which they like. It’s just they put up a pretentious cover on their faces which hides the pain of their heart and thwart it. How brave it portrays them to the world who does not even give a fuck to our feelings. This decorated world just want to satisfy their mocking soul, once done, it denies our existence and leave our soul in sorrow. 

This wonderful act of proving your heroism makes you loose many things in your perfect life. And the most dandy thing, EGO, also is a culprit for our anguish. Ignoring the fact that it’s our biggest loss the quotidian loss of our friends is just considered so prideful. It’s like man, I recently lost three of my old friends this week what rate are you one? Fuck man, my rate lagged behind one, I lost two. Anyways I will beat you the next week. Seriously? Is it really fun? I lost some of mine and I still regret that. Indeed, you have forgotten the meaning of friend or you have never had any friend, you were just hanging around with people who you just knew to entertain you. 

Certainly this is not the case with everyone but when we generalize it’s actually very common. Switching your friend circle is as common as switching your under wears. It seems like you never had any emotion with the memories you spent with people whom you called friends.

This strange yet dreamy relation with that person is called friendship, divine relationship, cursed the most, but cherished the most. Apparently we moved on so much that we forgot our initials. In the world of followers we left our friends behind and made our grand life full of pretentious motives. 

I pity at this nauseating condition and deny the existence of this Succubus’s entertainment in my life. I lost my few friends apparently because I handed over to this demon as a prey to it but now I fought the fight and let myself free. I am recycling my friends, now, because that is what is unerring. 

Love- ‘Out of Stock’

It is indeed very true that everything has a price now. Go to market and see what you can not but. Every luxury of life comes with a price tag. Hard to believe but even the beauties of nature boasts a price tag. Ever saw a slum dweller enjoying a nice vacation at a beautiful place? or at least, ever saw a slum even in the periphery of a river, beautiful green fields or any such metaphorically pleasing place? This system of price tags is so alluring, not even a single thing can resist itself to be a prey to it. Not even beatific love.

Definition of love changed in this modern sinful world. Love, which had a completely divine aura, now just cost a bank account boasting six-seven zeros. The stigma of our nauseating mentality is such that it denies the existence of this legitimate sin. Hypocrisy is obvious but such extent? It is such a pity to our intelligent view of word. 

It so evident, this whole mockery in the name of love. Making someone feel that you really love them but love their money is quotidian. Who cares if their feelings are hurt, as long as you spend your valuable money on me, I love you or else to hell with you. Perhaps what people confuse is having sex with love. They think that what their partner wants is sex and that is what is love to them. And yeah, we have pennis, we have vagina, all we want to look up is for someone rich, looking for love, fool them with sex and have fun for the time being. 

I sometime wonder, if all what people wanted was sex and all they had was money, prostitution would have been the highest paid job. 

Love, now, is a product which can be bought anywhere on the store called social media. All you should do is just boast your feeds or stories with: mirror selfies with expensive mobiles, your outfit of some expensive brand or designer, your videos of driving showing the steering wheel with the Audi, Merecedes, BMW or any other of such rank.

 A quote says, ‘With great power comes great responsibility’. In accordance with today’s love crisis, I change it to, “With great money come great love life’ which is apparently sex life. 

If that is what love is all about in its most nauseating manner, I deny the existence of love for me. Hence my love is: Out of Stock.