This is deeply comforting to me. It’s not “wait and see”. It’s “not yet.” It will happen. They will have a happy ending, and live in a little cottage in South Downs together 🫶

Crowley isn’t Lucifer or Raphael. He’s Baraqiel.

@angelic-bee-enthusiast made this post that got the gears turning.

Exhibit A:

Baraqiel is in this for a reason. He’s also a (sic) ginger. And a Dominion, which explains Crowley being able to open Gabriel’s file. Angel of the Sky could refer to the marvels that Crowley put in the sky for the humans to watch every night.

Exhibit B:

Exhibit C:

In Judaism, Barachiel is an Archangel. He is also one of the Princes of Heaven. I don’t think Metatron was referring to Lucifer during Gabriel’s trial.

AN ANGEL ON A MISSION

I just realized what Michael Sheen's face was doing during the end credits and OMFG he is beyond amazing! *o*

I already did an indepth analysis on why Aziraphale acted the way he did after that heart wrenching kiss scene.. but it wasn't until @charlotteharlatan post about the Nightingale song on the car's radio could have been that got my brain into a tizzy.

"Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide. Two of these were wrong."

Many people paint Aziraphale as this gullible innocent character but don't forget.. he is highly intelligent. Completely traumatized by his past abusive relationship with Heaven but intelligent.

When Metatron told him of their Second Coming plan.. how quickly he put things together before stepping onto that elevator. He turns toward Crowley to give him one last look and heads up to Heaven.

And for the next minute.. we watch as Michael Sheen micro-contorts his expression through the stages of grief.

Shock from hearing Heaven's plans for the Second Coming. Anger for realizing what he was just tricked into doing. Despair for what he gave up when he thought he was making the right choice. And then reorganizing his thoughts and acceptance of his current situation. And that final smirk.. ;) oh.. OH! That is the face of an Angel on a mission against Heaven. And he's already made up his mind. Stop Heaven's plans (again). Get revenge on them for forcing him into this situation. And of course, to get his Crowley back.

GO S3 is gonna be INSANE :D

Hey guys. Here’s some (maybe) hope if you need some.

****SPOILERS BELOW*****

The Bentley plays almost exclusively Queen when Crowley is in the car; this happens regardless of what Crowley would actually like to be listening to. Even when he puts other cassette tapes in, they morph into Queen in a matter of hours if not minutes, like we saw with “I’m in Love with My Car” in S1.

But as we saw on Aziraphale’s little solo road trip this season, the Bentley is much more amenable to the angel’s musical requests.

So it’s very unusual that “A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square” plays on the stereo right after Crowley brought up the song during their last conversation. It’s the absolute last thing Crowley would *want* to hear at that moment, and there’s a second where he seems to sit and process the fact that it’s playing, before he turns it off without much fuss. If it just happened to be playing, I think Crowley’s reaction would have been much more dramatic.

Which is why I think Aziraphale was responsible for it. I think he was actually under duress - others have already pointed out how threatening and manipulative the Metatron actually is, how much danger his presence means to Crowley and Aziraphale. How it’s possible this was a hostage situation and Crowley didn’t even realize it because Aziraphale was protecting him.

But if Aziraphale was trying to get a message across to Crowley without tipping off the Metatron, this was actually a brilliant way do it. It’s a message only Crowley would understand.

He may have been saying, “I’m still on our side.”

The Forbidden Fruit, Choices and Fear

[A GOOD OMENS META ANALYSIS OF AZIRAPHALE POST S2] I know everyone is still upset about that gut punch of an ending to GO S2.. and many are also extra upset at Aziraphale.. I'm in so much pain over it too but.. I have to rationalize that damned "I forgive you" line that broke all our hearts to comfort me until we get S3.. I basically overanalyze our favorite cocoa loving Angel to explain his reaction to the kiss and why we all need to be a lil kinder to him.

2500 BC in the Land of Uz.. Aziraphale, the Angel of the Eastern Gate, had the fear of God put into him. And this affected the rest of his immortal life up until that kiss.

The Middle

I wrote and illustrated this story as a birthday present for my partner, I hope you enjoy it!

#The way they probably erased Crowley's memory of heaven. Also the way Crowley offered a hot chocolate to Gabriel just after even though he still hated him because he knew how it feels to remember nothing (insp from this post by @perpetualcontrolleddrowning)

Is it too soon to talk about the fact that Nina and Maggie are a metaphor for Crowley and Aziraphale, but NOT in the way they led us to believe throughout S2?

Nina is the tough one, the one that doesn't trust anybody and she's just like Crowley. Maggie is the sweet and kind lady that is just like Aziraphale.

But Nina is stuck in a toxic relationship where the partner exists only in the form of omnipresent cruel texts, gaslight and accusations. She knows that the one she loves doesn't love her back as much, but she justifies every cruelty because she's the "complicated one" and they need only a little bit more time to fix things. She's doing nothing wrong, some things were completely out of her control, and yet she was the one to blame. She's hurt, a victim and yet she doesn't leave her distant cruel partner for Maggie, that is clearly and painfully in love with her. In the end, when she's dumped via text, she understands that she'll need to redefine herself as a person before going back to Maggie (hoping to find her still waiting, because she took so long).

Maggie struggles to pay rent, is extremely lonely and constantly hiding in her empty record shop because she's at her lowest point. She's fallen in love with Nina a long time ago but always watched her from afar. Nina couldn't be interested in such a wreck, she already has a partner and at a certain point she even stated she'll rather stay in her current toxic relationship instead of starting a new one with her! But Maggie also changed during S2, understanding her self-worth and letting herself be free of her fears and insecurities. She'll also wait as long as necessary for Nina to figure out what she needs.

The Nina/Maggie duo is not a metaphor of Crowley/Aziraphale in S2.

The moment you start thinking of Nina as Aziraphale and Maggie as Crowley you realise they're foreshadowing of S3.

Kevin Kline looking ravishing in 1930s style…

EXCUSE ME

top surgery tip 1)

get yourself used to sleeping on your back (and possibly elevated depending on your surgeon) BEFORE surgery.

top surgery tip 2)

have cough drops on hand because your throat will probably be sore from the breathing tube they use with anesthesia.

Top surgery tip 3)

Get and use straws. You'll have T-Rex arms for a while but you still need to hydrate.

top surgery tip 4)

the post surgery compression binder is more comfortable than youd think but it still gets pretty itchy. so dont be afraid to take benydryl, itll help you rest and stop the itch

top surgery tip 5)

sounds weird but try not to flex your pecs… watched a horror game play through and every time there was a jump scare my whole body tensed up including my pecs which hurt like a bitch

Top surgery tip 6)

Have hand sanitizer/ body wipes incase you cannot reach across sinks easily and to also put under your armpits if you cannot get deodorant there

top surgery tip 7)

you might be numb in some areas affected by the surgery. especially if your surgeon does any liposuction along with just cutting your boobs off. right now my armpits are numb which makes cleaning them weird. less of a tip and more its normal for early in recovery

top surgery tip 8)

about a week in stuff starts to feel like pins and needles. i thought that meant my one nipple was falling off. turns out its the opposite and its them coming back to life. the post op compression binder while annoying does help the tingling feel less weird

top surgery tip 9)

you surgeon may be ripped to hell and back like mine and put the compression binder on super tight. ITS OK TO LOOSEN IT A LITTLE.

its there for compression to keep the swelling down but same rules apply as a regular binder: it might be a little uncomfortable and feel tight but you need to still be able to BREATHE

top surgery tip 10)

invest in a long pair of tongs or one of those claw grabber things. i just made ramen that was in a cabinet above the microwave. how? tippy toes and tongs.

Top surgery tip 11)

You can buy little hair net looking guys at some major pharmacies that include shampoo and can be used to wash your hair in bed if you’re having trouble in the shower

(This is a general surgery tip but all my disabled friends swear by ‘em post surgery it makes your life much easier and you can feel properly clean)

top surgery tip 12) it’s okay to sleep on the couch or in a chair if it’s too difficult or painful to get in and out of bed. My couch plus a pile of throw pillows on either side of me was the perfect place to sit and simmer as I recovered. I also recommend getting one of those airplane pillows that go around your neck. very useful if you end up sleeping sitting up and don’t want your neck to crick.

top surgery tip 13)

when it comes to scar care. anything is better than nothing. and you dont need to shell out hundreds of dollars for fancy scar creams. to massage your scars as long as everythings properly closed you can just grab an gentle unscented or naturally scented lotion and use that. shea butter, cocoa butter, bio oil the like. youre just looking for something for sensitive skin and thatll keep them hydrated.

y'all really missed the boat on calling these tip top top surgery tips

y'all really missed the

boat on calling these tip top

top surgery tips

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Portals to Hell by hrmphfft

IT’S BACK

I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS AGAIN FOR MONTHS

I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW

ITS BACK 

This is one of those posts that you need to save and tag or you’ll never see it again for 84 years.

hey guys look…i found one of those iconic viral Tumblr posts

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

Sooo hilarious but I can completely see this being a real conversation between streaming execs 😏

(original vid: Asif Ali - instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2p8jpkzz)

“they even put an Indian guy in WandaVision”

hang on a second, I gotta look up something

yeah, this is really funny

Weatherman discovers his monitor has a touch screen

Miles Morales animation test

The prompt was to show how Miles is more confident in his movements as Spider-Man. Joaquim had suggested a mixture of breakdancing, capoeira, and parkour.

I pitched Miles is more confident but also trying a little too hard.

So, uh, Nandor in 5x01, eh? I’ve seen a lot of people say that he’s behaving weirdly, and I definitely think there’s something that’s gonna be revealed about this strange new hypnosis skill of his. But the thing I think is fascinating is the way his body language around Guillermo has changed.

It’s not a total change - he still has moments where he does his famous don’t touch me Guillermo flinch, like in the ball game scene, but at other times the way he’s moving his body around Guillermo is … really different.

He does this kind of … streeeeetch, at three different points when he’s interacting with Guillermo. The first is in the restaurant, when Guillermo goes to sit down next to him, the second is on the bench at the mall and the third is when he’s telling Guillermo he got him a 🎶 foot locker 🎶.

Here’s a shot of the restaurant stretch moment.

Nandor’s giggling, looking relaxed, his arm out casually. Guillermo’s staring down at it, reading the gesture as a fuck off Guillermo get your own seat. But I just don’t think that’s the correct meaning. First of all, WHEN has Nandor ever been this relaxed? The man is even tense while he sleeps. He’s reaching out towards Guillermo, in as sneaky and ‘casual’ a way as he can manage, in the hopes that Guillermo squeezes in next to him in the booth and ends with Nandor’s arm around him.

Next we’ve got the mall stretch. You can see the lean here - he’s taking up an entire bench. Which, yes, could be Nandor being a greedy bitch who can’t share, as usual, but it could also be read as a more flirty lean. A look at me, lounging in my cloak! Again, he knows that Guillermo’s looking at him, and I think he wants him to … look.

And then there’s the foot locker stretch! Again, Nandor is opening out his body in a way that’s fairly unusual for him. It’s kind of like a cat flipping on its back to show you its tummy, and it’s a very look at me, pay attention to me, think about touching me gesture.

I am not good at working out when people are flirting with me, I will admit that freely! But one of the things that I have noticed is that when someone starts touching someone else more than necessary, or moving into their space, that often means that horny feelings are afoot. And Nandor is moving into Guillermo’s space this season.

a collection of motivational insights regarding content creation and creative hobbies

and of course the classic

I’ve shared this story before, but some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten was from a writing professor who said, “The thing that makes your work interesting isn’t the stuff you’re good at, it’s the stuff you struggle with. Because you’ll either focus on improving those skills until you’re really good or you’ll figure out how to work around it in really cool ways.”

So… I’ve been turning all this over in my head since last night, and I wanted to make a post about vampiric transformation as sex, and how it’s being used in wwdits as a metaphor for sexual repression, sexual freedom, virginity, and cuckolding.

Before I even get into the obvious metaphors about virginity and cuckolding, I think we need to talk about the elephant in the room. Guillermo’s sexual repression and how that’s come to find an outlet in his vampiric longing.

Guillermo is highly repressed, sexually speaking, but I don’t think he’s asexual. He’s shown interest in sex several times, but in an uncomfortable “this can’t be for me yet” kind of way. He was clearly raised Catholic and has internalized a lot of that shame re: sex, especially gay sex. He wants intimacy, but he’s also internalized the idea that wanting these things is dangerous and shameful.

But… the vampiric world seems to symbolize all the things that Guillermo wants but cannot have. He wants to be strong, powerful, attractive, and sexually liberated. As much as their openness about sex embarrasses him, there’s a certain longing there, too. He didn’t just want to be handsome as a vampire — he explicitly used the word “sexy.”

A vampiric Guillermo is a version of Guillermo that gets to have sex. Loudly, proudly, and without shame. It’s a version of him that is wanted, that wants, and who gets to have the precise kind of intimacy he's always craved.

Now, how much Guillermo has actually done sexually is still up for a lot of debate in fandom, but I think that’s kind of immaterial. For most of the show, Guillermo clearly wasn’t having the kind of intimacy that he wanted to be having, and he only started to even begin to allow himself to seriously consider all that in s4, when he got a boyfriend and came out to his family.

As being gay and wanting to be a vampire. 

Guillermo is finally starting to own both his homosexuality and his vampiric life, and that means he’s finally starting to explore sex.

Now… At the end of s4, I talked about how Guillermo going to Derek in the finale had the air of a person who’d been fantasizing about losing their virginity in a certain way all their life — but then they finally give up on those dreams and hire a sex worker instead. There’s a resignation there in Guillermo that he couldn’t get it “the old-fashioned way,” he’s disappointed and jaded when it comes to intimate relationships, and now he’s tired of waiting for love and just wants a business transaction.

I wasn’t quite expecting for them to push that metaphor even more in s5! The money aspect was almost forgotten (Did… Derek even take the money? Why is he still cleaning toilets?) but the scene with Derek biting Guillermo was clearly a metaphorical virginity scene.

Guillermo’s nervous eagerness, his growing realization that this wasn’t actually the way he wanted it to happen. Asking Derek if he’d ever done this before and figuring out if he was “ready.” Taking off his clothes (that his grandmother got for him, even, that’s a whole meta post right THERE) and trying to make the vibe “right.” His insistence that though Nandor had never done this for him, they still had a caring and intimate relationship.

But… it was also a metaphor for bad sex. Many people lose their virginity in a way they don’t find satisfying, and Guillermo definitely seems to fall in this category. It was awkward, it was bloody, it hurt, his partner didn’t listen to him, they weren’t on the same wavelength, they didn’t connect, there was no emotional bond, and most importantly, he didn’t feel changed.

Like a lot of people do, Guillermo thought losing his virginity would change him. He’d be cooler, sexier, more powerful. His station in life would change. He’d become an adult his ideal form. But he’s still just Guillermo.

As he told Laszlo, as soon as he did it, he regretted it. He immediately knew that he’d been right, that this wasn’t the way he wanted to do it. He wanted to do it with someone experienced who loved and cared about him, who listened to him, and he wanted that person to be Nandor. But he wasn’t patient, he paid an inexperienced acquaintance for a one-night-stand instead, and he was left feeling deeply unfulfilled.

Most upsettingly, he immediately discovered that, like virginity, you can’t lose it twice. He can’t just have a do-over with Nandor now. He’s given something up that he can’t give to anyone else, and he’s going to have to live with the consequences.

Because like sex for humans, transformation has social implications in the vampire world. It can only be done in very specific situations. Guillermo seems to have grown up in a human world where sex should only be happening within a heterosexual marriage, and now he’s finding that in the vampire world, transformation is only supposed to happen between a master and familiar currently in a contractual bond.

So… him going to Derek and finding “outlet” in another relationship, so to speak, is effectively vampirically cuckolding Nandor. He’s given that honor to another vampire, which Nandor seems to find both vampirically humiliating and personally hurtful. It would in fact hurt him so badly that he would probably not survive it, in Laszlo’s words.

(There’s also definitely an element of an abusive “if I can’t have you, no one can” vibe in Nandor’s threat to kill Guillermo and then himself if Guillermo got what he needed from another vampire, but since when have we ever liked them well-adjusted?)

Guillermo is realizing that, as much as he’s been thinking of this in sexual terms, so have the vampires. He thought he was the only one who thought it was a big deal. He thought he was the only one placing intimacy and partnership and loyalty into this event. But now he’s realizing that as much as it meant to him, it might have even been a bigger thing for Nandor.

For Guillermo, vampirism-as-sex represents the idealized transformational aspects of losing your virginity. He’d built up this big event in his mind that represented his intimate bond with Nandor, he’d built up this idea that the event would change him, would make him better, would make him free. But he’s finding, like many first-timers do, that sometimes it’s not transformational. It’s just awkward and disappointing and the only thing that’s changed is that you ache in the morning.

He still doesn’t have the intimacy he wanted. He still doesn’t have the ability to be loudly himself. He still hasn’t been able to fully own his sexuality and ask for what he wants. He wasn’t ready. He didn’t enjoy it. He regrets it.

He also regrets it because now he knows it will hurt Nandor and the relationship they’ve built. Because for Nandor, vampirism-as-sex represents the societal aspects of sex. The rules people follow. The societal humiliation you feel if you’re cuckolded. The personal agony you feel when you’re cheated on. The sense that your home is broken if your partner goes to find satisfaction with someone else.

Guillermo, who has had to deal with societal disapproval of his desired type of sex in the human world his whole life, was viewing vampiric transformation as a way to be free of all that. The shame and the repression and the societal penalties for being himself.

But he’s just found himself in a mess of new rules, hasn’t he? Different culture, same struggle. And while the vampiric world has always symbolized a sexual liberation that both repulses and attracts Guillermo, he clearly doesn’t have as much freedom here as he thought.

So… to sum up, Guillermo always kind of thought of transformation as losing his virginity. He associated vampirism with sex, and he thought this would be his entrance into the sexual world. He wanted to have an intimate experience with Nandor, but eventually gave up on that and decided to pay for it — and then immediately regretted it, both because he found it personally dissatisfying and because it came as a betrayal to the man he loves.

The problem is that he thought he was the only person thinking of it as sex — he didn’t realize that Nandor does, too, just in a very different way.

Nandor was also thinking of vampiric transformation as this special act, and one that belongs only to him as Guillermo’s master/partner. He was thinking of it in intimate terms, but also in societal partnership terms. He’s thinking of his household, while Guillermo was thinking of things on more individualistic terms.

If only they’d both talked about all this shit even once. :’)

But that’s not how we do things here in Staten Island!!! We just long for things ineffectively, keep secrets, and fuck everything up!

(There’s also a whole thing here about how Nandor wasn’t keeping his side of the relationship bargain and that’s why Guillermo looked elsewhere in a moment of weakness, but I guess that’s probably a separate post. This is long enough already.)

older lotr illustrations sometimes depict éowyn wearing ridiculously small armour. apart from the problem general sexualisation of the only female character (who really does anything), there’s another hilarious thought:

éowyn pretended to be dernhelm, a man. to fit in, she must have worn men’s armor. so the armor in the illustrations is normal for rohirrim.

therefore, all the rohirrim rode to war just like that:

there’s a thundering sound in the distance as the rohirrim ride into war but rather than hoofbeats it’s the collective sound of all their cheeks clapping

the artist for this particular piece is Frank Frazetta and to be fair to him this is how he drew the orcs armor 

so the rohirrim comment is probably not that far off

That’s a man who just straight up had a problem with the concept of wearing pants into battle, and I respect that

male or female

hero or villain

sea or land

even in the snow

I guarantee you Frazetta’s Rohirrim were 100% pants-free

Good Old Frank. That man loved bodies and hated clothes so much

Frank Frazetta was the reason He-Man was designed like that; the producers conduct a study to see what art appeal the most to children, and Frank’s work came out on top in popularity. So everyone in He-Man is dressed the way they are directly because of Frazetta.

That man gave us the gift of warrior thighs and tits for everyone.

Ah, it has been too long since I have seen the no pants post on my dash. And yes, this is a rare case where it wasn’t some sexist nonsense but an egalitarian No Pants Agenda.

It’s time for my regular reblog of Gondor Needs No Pants