dannyegan
the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal
phoebe bridgers styled by jared ellner and photographed by davis bates
me and my fiancee getting married
Kids on the internet now a days are literally wild.. like when I was 12 and on the internet, i was lying out my asshole I was telling people about my kids and my wife. I was talking to them about taxes and how I miss my college days.....now 12 year Olds are out here telling their AGE?!?! OR REAL NAME?!??! I was literally fucking Garry that worked at staples and had 2 children for like 4 years...
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please tell me this isnt real are you okay oh my god
no way dude hes gonna suck my dang blood out
SPEECH PATTERNS WRAPPED. This year you absorbed 27 NEW PHRASES FROM ONLINE into your DAILY VERNACULAR. You opened a conversation with 'hi for the love of god hello' 32 TIMES! You enjoyed BLORBO from YOUR SHOWS for 298 HOURS! Your top artist was LITTLE GERMAN BOY from the CAVE OF BLÜNTSMOKEN
i always thought of a king sized bed as being a bit bigger than a queen, but now that i have one, i can tell you that a king sized bed is an absurdity. i can sprawl out, and my husband can sprawl out, and the cat can sprawl out, and none of us are touching. i reach out in the night, and find only pillows and plush walruses. i reach further and eventually find his elbow. he rolls over the comforters to try and find me. “i have crossed oceans of bed to be with you,” he says. there is a vast expanse of bed untouched, unmapped, unexplored. the cat is still trying to sleep on my face.
glitterigabi
This is the opposite of a creepypasta
lady8ces
Comfypasta
id be kicking my feet swinging them back and forth like crazy behind that massive desk if i was a judge