It's 2023 if you're not a monsterfucker I don't know what to tell you
funnytwittertweets
Whales are cool as fuck and im sick of them being out in the ocean where I can’t see them
counterintuitive to me that, even with the high rates of immigration and the quality of translation technology, I’m so insulated from the Chinese internet. I don’t know what discourse they have. I read about crazy intense doxxing and harassment incidents in books about China (like Age of Ambition) but that’s like being a Chinese person who kinda knows what Twitter is like from the Justine Sacco incident. I want to… oh, get their jokes, be in some actually good Discord servers, know whatever arbitrary sexual acts or dynamics are taboo in their culture. (There was a really good tumblr thread on Chinese fandom is totally okay with… was it incest? Something that US fandom feels weird about? but is not okay with poly or even multi-shipping? I loved that thread.)
Would be so amazing if there was a blog run by a normal Terminally Online person in China who just happened to speak very good English and was willing to post 1 screenshot a day of something that was on their feed, translating and explaining everything to me. God, I’d fund that Patreon
My wishes are answered! The spouse of someone I share a Discord server with is running weibo.substack.com
Premise: just faithfully translate the first 1500 words of whatever shows up in the Weibo trending posts today. No cherry picking articles, no punditry or commentary. Come experience the Chinese internet!
I’ve enjoyed every single post. Just picking a random one:
A lot of parents are asking a blogger for advice about going to high school overseas, because Chinese high school is too stressful. But they’re concerned about their children not being patriotic anymore after leaving China. The blogger admits that this is a very valid concern, especially since lately, there’s been many incidents of very patriotic Chinese students going overseas and getting into violent physical conflicts with their classmates over political differences, and that this is illegal in a lot of countries. So therefore, his advice is to send their kids to Russia. There are a lot of great schools in Russia. Russia’s leading the world in tech, and is pretty good in the arts too, and their food is great. A lot of modern Chinese processed food actually comes from Russia, so it’s very easy to find things like cream popsicles and sausages that were a hallmark of Chinese people’s childhoods. And you don’t have to worry about war in Russia, because it’s such a big country that no invader can win. Also, lots of hot chicks in Russia. But if your child is a girl, you have to be a little careful going to Russia, because their food is high in calories so it’s very easy to get fat. And Russian men like to drink a lot, so it might be a little scary for girls.
Two recurring themes that make me go “oh wow, huh” are bride prices (major driver of social drama and economic action) and treatment of children.
I’ve been reading this Substack ever since this post came out, and my conclusion is that social media users in China are obsessed with stupid bullshit, usually around finding dates, fuming about other people’s parenting decisions, and pseudo-profound philosophical rambling.
There’s nothing like it for making you feel our common shared humanity.
We're so lucky Stonewall Inn was called Stonewall. It's dignified. I've been to a gay bar that was just called Cold Pitchers Hot Catchers which while hilarious would admittedly have been much harder to sell as the foundation name for AIDS research
Community Label: Mature
so im being horny and wayching porn and i burst out laughing because the top came and he literally sounds like someone chopped off his finger or some shit it's so fucking extra and i wish i could post it but i can't but its so fucking funny
this was it LMAO
VERY NSFW
my man's about to become the legendary super saiyan
Community Label: Mature
Sexual themes
idk how much this made the news in the Americas but the Hellenic coast guard watched as a vessel carrying more than 400 (some estimates say 700) migrants capsized and sank in the Mediterranean. 104 people survived. official death toll is 79 because the rest is missing, and might never be found. There are claims that many children were below deck.
Frontex and the Hellenic Coast Guard was aware of the vessel and the dangerous situation it was in for days, but did not intervene
The coast guard released this photo. They came this close but did not intervene. EU and the Greek coast guard sat and waited for this boat to sink
Survivors and rescuers claim that the boat capsized after being towed by the coast guard at high speed.
if this is true, at best they caused an accident out of carelessness and immediately retreated to cover it up, or they committed a massacre.
id: a series of tweets about a boat, with migrants on it, capsizing and leaving 104 survivors.
tweet one, from niki kitsantonis, reads: "Photos of migrant boat taken by Greek coast guard helicopter on Tuesday indicates hundreds were aboard. Official death toll so far 79 with 104 survivors. Shipping Ministry official says boat sunk in spot where sea is 4,000 meters deep, so retrieving other victims may be impossible."
the photos attached are of a blue (?) boat with people packed like sardines in the middle of the water.
tweet two reads: "The vast search and rescue operation continues with hundreds missing and at least 78 dead, the Hellenic Coast guard said in a statement on Thursday. A new photo has been released by #Greece's coast guard showing the fishing vessel that appears to be photographed at night time."
the photo attached is of the boat at night time.
tweet three, from iasonas apostolopoulos, reads: "[thread emoji] New item that completely changes the data! Rescuers revealed that the new coast guard was towing them at high speed, this destabilized the boat and sank it! If this is true, we are not talking about criminal negligence, but about an act that caused the death of 600 people."
the video attached is of a middle-aged man, with his arms folded, wearing an n95 mask, surrounded by people.
/end id]
I had a dream that Joe Biden addressed the nation wearing a Miko robe like a Shinto priestess. He was also visibly 8 months pregnant. He didn't talk about that until the press asked him about it, to which he replied "I bear the child of a great spirit" as if that was like, something mildly inconvenient like getting stuck in traffic.
Laika how did you make this that fast
If grimdark isn't a genre, does that mean hopepunk isn't, either?
(With reference to this post here.)
"Hopepunk" is basically the culmination of nerd culture's mistaken propensity to treat genre as a prescriptive checklist of tropes. The term's proponents invented a definition of a genre of media they believed ought to exist, then went about looking for examples of media that fit that definition. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way – genres in media are something that can only be identified after the fact, as a description of emergent trends in the dialogue between creators. If you try to declare a genre into existence by fiat and work backwards to figure out which media belong to it by going down a checklist of tropes, you just end up with a random grab-bag of works which aren't meaningfully in dialogue with each other.
(Some definitions of "hopepunk" do admittedly somewhat resemble romantic fantasy, particularly the late 1980s to early 1990s strand, but as far as I can tell this is coincidental – it's abundantly clear that most of the term's proponents have never read a Mercedes Lackey novel!)
See also: "noblebright", "cozy horror"
I think people need to be more comfortable with illegalism and I’m not kidding. Of course the more legal something is, the safer and easier it is to do, but the more people who disregard the law, the harder it is to enforce. There are plenty of laws on the books that people just ignore and are never or rarely policed.
Becoming more comfortable with little illegal activities makes you more comfortable with bigger more important illegal activities. Additionally, it is crucial to build a wall of silence. Nobody talks everybody walks.
People who give out food without a permit, hold a march without a permit, grow a garden without a permit, are more likely to be people you could turn to to work with on preventing an eviction, or keeping people out of cop hands, or helping your friend Jane get crucial healthcare when it’s not legal in your state.
Communities comfortable with these acts won’t call the cops, and then nobody knows that it’s happening.
People have got to shift from both the idea that lawful = good/ illegal = bad, and that the illegality of something means that’s the end of it, and the only fight left is to make it legal again.
i think it’s really amazing how total strangers who have nothing in common but their shared love of a work of fiction will come together across distances and dedicate their time and energy working collaboratively to build an extensive, richly detailed fanon that completely fucking sucks
you guys are so committed to being bad at interpreting things you’ll just straight up decide this post means the opposite of what i wrote and reblog it anyway
found out today that my boss (a thirty something year old man) thought that there was only one gas giant in the solar system, and that it was venus. the knowledge that i take for granted.
I'm always saying that it's incredible the really tiny amount of stuff you have to actually know to be a completely normal functioning adult with no real problems. knowing a lot of stuff actually seems mutually exclusive with being functional most of the time
ascendmotherfucker
Are you shitting me?
this makes me smile every time
Watching horror movies with other people rules. Hey homie wanna come to my house and get so so scared
often middle-class leftist obsessions with the guilloutine unsettle me not because im against violence (im not) (especially not against an unjust nationstate) but rather i am against executions especially by literally any state ever. & i cant fuck with people who are like "okay but we will execute people morally this time" girl thats what you said the last 5,000 times it never works give it UP.
person with $95 guilloutine earrings telling me excitedly about how they cant wait to watch a class of people be publically executed and i just think maybe someone should tell you that your outright glee to see violence-as-spectacle especially if you are not a part of the vulnerable population is something you should be deeply ashamed of. this isnt to tone-police those who have been acute and vulnerable victims of capitalism, but those populations are all too aware of the potential consequences of politicized violent unrest, AND are the first to be harmed by those consequences in a situation such as this. your obsession with violence is not terrifying to me because i feel some need to protect jeff bezos or whatever, but rather because the fallout of your bloodlust WILL hurt victims you did not intend if you are not careful, and harm reduction should be more important to you than exacting revenge.
you should want the violence to be unnecessary
you should want it to be minimized
if you truly care about things getting better, you should not be excited for the violence
Sharing, as ever, Against the Logic of the Guillotine.
am i doing it right?
You are, we are so proud of you, putting this up on the big tumblr fridge
Can we please make the deep sea the next cool desirable “final frontier” pretty please. I want Elon Musk to design a horrible Tesla Brand submarine and go down to map the Mariana’s Trench for commercial development and watch it crumple like a tin can the second it reaches 200 meters
200 years ago this guy’s family were among the most powerful people in Europe
