what the fuck is gluten

ohhh im so microwave safe im so fucking microwave safe please put me in the microwave

laptop husbandry tip: the fans spinning up just means its EXCITED, not DISTRESSED. this is a COMMON MISCONCEPTION and it does not need to go to the vet

my boy is so excited

my boy is so healthy and h appy

Sorry, my what? My pronouns? Oh, yeah I'm between genders at the moment. No, it's cool, I quit my last gender a little while ago because it really wasn't working out. I don't know if I even have a dream gender anymore.

Reblog to put one of these in your mutuals’ pocket when they’re not looking

Favorite genre of post

catch a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day, teach a man to play bass and he’ll get laid forever or whatever it is

I can't believe the shock waves of Sans beating Reigen in the Tumblr Sexyman poll killed the queen of England.

for a safer and cheaper alternative to getting a piercing at claire's, you can always try getting caught and tagged by a team of researchers before being released back into the wild

This counts as a spell

My heart goes out to the Irish in these trying times. May you not contract alcohol poisoning from celebrating the news

hulu i will never watch your stupid little show. manscaped i will never buy your dick and ball products. bots looking for a sugar baby $5000 weekly allowance we can talk later this just isn't a good time for me rn