my banger posts have led me to places I wouldn’t even go with a gun

grow up dude

There was a cute girl wearing denim on denim next to me in the art museum elevator and as soon as the door opened she made a beeline for a giant abstract painting of a woman with her titties out.

how i send the message to lesbians in my area

you can tell this website is autistic as hell because someone posts a video with a mildly catchy phrase in it and no one shuts up about it for an extended period of time. or image even. image with a mildly catchy phrase in it even. we love phrases here on tumblr dot com love to repeat them. due to the autism

why do you guys feel the need to lie to yourselves

fsyipp,lödmknbjhwvsgefuozwihd

men b like wow I’ve never met a girl who liked music before..

You obviously know nothing about men if this is what you think they say

Men will see a mouse and eat it

No they won’t because why would anyone eat a mouse that’s stupid not all men are bad and not all men are stupid you may have had a bad experience with a man but not all men are bad granted there bad men but instantly accusing all men as bad is immature I’m dating a man and he is nowhere near stupid and I know for a fact that he won’t eat a mouse and in pretty sure I could name at least five other men that won’t do something as immature as that and saying that a man will see a mouse and eat it won’t get you a anywhere with a man if anything it will drive them away.

A man will see a mouse and be like is anyone else gonna eat this and not wait for an answer

this cannot be real im losing my mind

posts about tranvestigators are great because then i get to see people say it's an insult if someone thinks you're trans

Trans nacho w

so how did it go? did crab day save tumblr or do we need to do a bake sale or something

clearly the only thing left we can do is to have the best talent show the world has ever seen, right here on tumblr live

*with my 2012 john green ventriloquist doll* dear judges, i will now perform a monologue

tag what you're majoring in/intend on majoring in

Respecting Women

bat man

minecraft

youtube

in the tags guys

fuckin weed

W

Criminal justice and psychology

i’m terrified that i’ll lock myself into an interest that i’ll no longer be passionate about in a few years like all the other areas of study i’ve pursued over my life!

Minecraft

minecraft as well

emojis

Can you try again

not in the mood

I love HIM's introduction bc the narrator is all "This man is a being of pure evil. A creature so sinister and cruel that we must refrain from saying his name. For even the utterance of it is enough to drive a man to madness"

Meanwhile HIM's sitting there like:

love that ryan shane and steven dont have active public accounts on tumblr, so either we are here with tumblr user wearewatcher as a babysitter, or they are lurking. stalking.

I have this theory that Shane is everywhere. Behind wearewatcher. Lurking on a personal account or two (sockpuppets, one might even say). Reading the comments on their vids. At the table behind you at Panera.

This isn't to imply that Shane has creeper energy. What he has is chaotic energy. There's too much of Shane to be contained in one physical person. That's why he's got so many puppets - they're full of secrets Shane-energy. Shanergy.

So, yeah. Shane is everywhere. Shane is all of us. You could walk into your house and find Shane in your living room, making friends with your parents and asking what's the deal with cousins, and you wouldn't even be surprised.

But, I mean, it's just a theory.

obsessed with shanergy. he is multiple people, puppets, if you will. he is a different kind of cryptid. not one entity, but many, and they look too normal to set off any alarms. he doesn't even set off the uncanny valley feeling. he's evolved past that.

he is just chaotically around. surveying, watching. multiple puppets, but only one puppeteer. no ill intent. but he is around. maybe around the corner, you'll hear a distant, "this is my smile dog".

yeah to all this tbh

Illustration for Cosmopolitan, June 1974 Detail

it always makes me sad to see the cropped image on my dash cuz like

the original specifically centers bi women’s sexuality & that context just gets cropped out 😔

tee hee hee [lays in barrow nook]

Dear diary,

Torbjorn is soooooo handsome, I just love the way he says "kren sosaal"! I wish I was brave enough to tell him, but whenever I see those glowing blue eyes and that handsome mottled grey chin, I just freeze up. I'm so frustrated, I almost HOPE someone comes and raids the barrow so I can beat them to death...

I'm fed up with how Hrefna the Storm-Weaver thinks she can boss us all around. Nirn to Hrefna, the dragons died out thousands of years ago, the only thing you're a priest of is silly masks! She does know how to sing, though, I'll give her that.

Idea! If I can get Hrefna to teach me how to sing, maybe I can sing something marvellous and make Torbjorn notice me! I'll have to play it cool, as if I'm just singing to myself while I stack the wheels of cheese, at a convenient moment when he just happens to be coming by... Or I could hide his big Draugr Death Overlord helmet to make sure he comes by. I don't want to get stabbed again, though... What do I do?!

he looks like a little kid explaining the rules of a game he made up entirely to his dad

HES SO FUCKING CUTE HES LIKE A BABY COW TO ME 😭😭😭 please Hollywood directors let him have acting roles other than drug dealers and cartel members please stop typecasting him as a stereotype he's such a little darling