cw: eating disorders, binging and purging, bulimia, orthorexia.
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Ok. Just got followed by a pro-eating disorder/ pro-ana blog so I want to be incredibly clear about this:
I am in recovery. I have struggled with an eating disorder, in one form or another, for fifteen years.
I grew up in a household where both of my parents had a very unhealthy relationship to food and eating. And I was a large child, who although not overweight, was bullied horribly for my size.
It is hard to recover. I have at times starved myself, at times binged, at times purged, and for a very long stretch I starved myself of almost everything because I was “coping” with my eating disorder by only eating food that was completely ethical and “healthy” (in reality, any diet where you’re not eating enough is unhealthy. I was refusing to eat any meat or dairy, and only eating organic food, and even what organic food I did eat was heavily limited by ethics).
The latter is called orthorexia and it’s a serious disorder which is highly common among conscientious eaters who have an ED, we don’t talk about it enough. It gets to be so serious because unlike any other eating disorder, most people see people who have it as virtuous, ethical, and healthy. It is very hard to say to people “I had a disordered obsession with eating healthily” and have them acknowledge your ED.
All this to say: I am easily triggered.
I am still working to get better.
Every day I try to count calories up. Up to 2000 to make sure that I’m actually eating enough food.
It has been very hard.
I am always at risk right now of relapsing, especially into orthorexic behaviour, as that is what I’ve struggled with most recently.
And if you have a pro-ED blog and you interact IN ANY WAY with my blog, I will immediately block you.
I feel conflicted about this because I post about recovery (usually more generally) and I want other folks with EDs to find their way to recovery too.
But my desire to help other people find their recovery is not as strong or important to me right now as my need to recover on my own.
Don’t interact with my blog, and certainly do not follow if you post or like positive things about EDs, anti-fatness, weight loss, dieting, body negativity, restricting caloric intake, or any other “health” related topics that focus on weight loss as a goal.
I will block you.















