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renaissance butch

@toadbutch / toadbutch.tumblr.com

expect a bit of everything AND the kitchen sink
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strong opinions but an open mind
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my name is leny, i'm a disabled bigender intersex transmasc (tme/ transmisogyny exempt)
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I’m autistic/ ADHD and post-TBI/ concussion
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they/them or any gender neutral pronouns (ey/em, ze/hir etc)
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pagan/ witch side-blog: @urbaneclectica
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animal crossing side-blog:
@cicadamemories
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minecraft side-blog:
@taiga-hills
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mutuals and anyone running an nsfw blog can ask for the url of my erotic/ nsfw side blog.
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find me on twitter:
@lenyatom
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adult, 27,
dnf if you’re under 18 please!
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If you don’t want to see anything that might be nsfw, block the tag “horny posting hours”

cw: eating disorders, binging and purging, bulimia, orthorexia.

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Ok. Just got followed by a pro-eating disorder/ pro-ana blog so I want to be incredibly clear about this:

I am in recovery. I have struggled with an eating disorder, in one form or another, for fifteen years.

I grew up in a household where both of my parents had a very unhealthy relationship to food and eating. And I was a large child, who although not overweight, was bullied horribly for my size.

It is hard to recover. I have at times starved myself, at times binged, at times purged, and for a very long stretch I starved myself of almost everything because I was “coping” with my eating disorder by only eating food that was completely ethical and “healthy” (in reality, any diet where you’re not eating enough is unhealthy. I was refusing to eat any meat or dairy, and only eating organic food, and even what organic food I did eat was heavily limited by ethics).

The latter is called orthorexia and it’s a serious disorder which is highly common among conscientious eaters who have an ED, we don’t talk about it enough. It gets to be so serious because unlike any other eating disorder, most people see people who have it as virtuous, ethical, and healthy. It is very hard to say to people “I had a disordered obsession with eating healthily” and have them acknowledge your ED.

All this to say: I am easily triggered.

I am still working to get better.

Every day I try to count calories up. Up to 2000 to make sure that I’m actually eating enough food.

It has been very hard.

I am always at risk right now of relapsing, especially into orthorexic behaviour, as that is what I’ve struggled with most recently.

And if you have a pro-ED blog and you interact IN ANY WAY with my blog, I will immediately block you.

I feel conflicted about this because I post about recovery (usually more generally) and I want other folks with EDs to find their way to recovery too.

But my desire to help other people find their recovery is not as strong or important to me right now as my need to recover on my own.

Don’t interact with my blog, and certainly do not follow if you post or like positive things about EDs, anti-fatness, weight loss, dieting, body negativity, restricting caloric intake, or any other “health” related topics that focus on weight loss as a goal.

I will block you.

no joke i really love discovering a fandom for some weird show or internet thing ive never heard of in my life and then promptly discovering that said random is batshit and full of the most vicious hateful infighting possible

especially when the media at hand is completely shallow nonsense projects by random nobodies and there are people on tumblr willing to kill and die for their headcanons this happens to me like twice a week

what if i told you with my hand on a stack of bibles that in the dark underbelly of tumblr there are people fighting to the death about these things’ sexualities

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when anti-fat people reblog your posts ://///

get ur grubby fatphobic hands off of what i have to say. like you are what’s wrong with our society.

obesity is a misnomer and an irrelevant diagnosis. oh, you’re “against human obesity” oh wow. how original. what an “unpopular opinion” /s

like literally everyone in our damn culture is anti-fat. just because the body-positive movement is finally gaining some ground doesn’t mean that being anti-fat is suddenly a rare thing. you don’t get a cookie for being an oppressive little shit.

fat liberation now. respect fat people now. treat us like humans now.

and don’t fucking reblog my posts about how letting your cat become overweight is animal abuse and derail that important conversation with this “people shouldn’t be obese” bullshit.

cats become overweight because their people don’t take care of them.

people become overweight and society stops caring about us.

those are very fucking different issues.

You became overweight because YOU didn’t care about yourself. 🙄

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giiirl-istg

being fat is not an accomplishment and it does not entitle you to respect. take a step back and think about what a privileged life you have if you think that those who criticise obese people are what’s wrong with society

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I’m a multiple disabled, trans intersex and queer person living below the poverty level.

Pretty sure I know what oppression feels like.

Fatphobia is intersectional and it intersects with all other forms of oppression—racism, sexism, ableism, classism and more.

I strongly recommend reading books like Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fatphobia and Fat Shame: Stigma and the Fat Body in American Culture to learn more about the ways in which fatphobia is a vital part of both classism and racism in our culture.

fatphobic oppression has *always* been about bigotry. Always been about racism and classism

And for the record? I’m not entitled to respect because I’m fat

I’m entitled to respect because I’m human.

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Heating pad/ Chronic pain PSA

Heating pads can burn you.

They can burn you quite badly.

I saw a post the here other day that asked how to “get rid of heating pad marks.”

Folks. If you have “heating pad marks” those are burns. And they can become much, much worse if you continue to use a heating pad on the same area of your body.

I know most folks with chronic pain scoff when we read the warnings on a heating pad. “Don’t lie on this pad.” Yeah. Sure. Lying on it is exactly the main thing you’ll be doing.

But please. Please always have a layer of protective fabric between the pad and your skin. Never, ever use a pad directly on your bare skin.

Never fall asleep on a heating pad. I know it’s easy to do, but you’re much more at risk for getting a bad burn when you’re asleep.

And never combine use of a heating pad with a topical analgesic (like Icy Hot, A535, Tiger Balm, Voltaren, Lakota creams or roll ons, essential oils or any other topical pain reliever) the oils and plant compounds in these products will accelerate burns. Do not apply anything to your skin and then use a heating pad.

And if you burn your skin, take a break from using the heating pad. I know that’s hard because many of us rely so heavily on them for pain management.

But you can permanently damage your skin by repeatedly burning it and dramatically increase your risk of cancer by doing so.

Be careful.

Please reblog this for the chronically ill folks in your life/ who follow you who use a heating pad

It's call hot water bottle rash or Erythema ab igne. It's not actually a burn. It changes your pigmentation (or gives you spider viens or redness) that's why your skin looks different, it's hyperpigmentation, but its not a burn. Here is a .org website talking about it. Cancer from hot water bottle rash is rare but as always consult your doctor.

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So if you read the notes, you’ll see that I’ve both discussed this condition and the fact that you can get both it AND actual burns from heating pads.

Many people have both, and while Erythema ab igne is more common among long-term users, anyone who uses a heating pad long-term likely also (a) has started to use it at increasingly higher temperatures and (b) likely is more lax about safety than an irregular user, due to familiarity with the device.

One of the issues with Erythema ab igne is that it both makes people more susceptible to actual burns in that region, and also makes the affected area less sensitive to burning pain. It isn’t only a change in pigmentation—it’s an indication that the tissues have changed as well.

This means that if someone allows the condition to persist or exacerbates it by continuing to apply heat to the affected area, they’re more likely to wind up with an acute burn.

But also, many people will burn themselves repeatedly and never have Erythema ab igne at all. A series of mild burns will change the appearance of the skin as well— Erythema ab igne looks very distinctive, and if someone has it, it’s easy enough to know. The markings are not ambiguous.

But any other red markings are often the result of long term low-grade burning in the area.

People can also get second degree burns from heating pad misuse (most common when sleeping on a pad), or more serious burns if the pad malfunctions significantly in some way.

funnytwittertweets
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The matrix movies have always been, first and foremost, allegories about what it’s like to be trans and live with the lifelong terror that one will always be in the closet, always living a lie in which one must constantly pretend to be someone else—both to oneself and to society—never allowed to fully awaken to the truth of who one is and come out and live that truth authentically.

and we’re currently living in the midst of a huge conservative, terf, and fascist backlash against trans rights and trans safety.

so yeah, I’d say a matrix movie has never been more pertinent than it will be in 2021.

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you know what I lowkey hate? that entire fandoms just up and decide who the bottom/ top is, almost unilaterally, in their big ships and about half the time they’re DEAD WRONG.

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I’ve been thinking about this and the issue is definitely that cishet people/ cishet women in fandom think that top and bottom are personalities.

and that top and bottom are stand-ins for gender.

and that top=dominant and bottom=submissive and that top=masc and bottom=femme.

so let me be the submissive butch vers who tells you that no, actually, top and bottom are not distinct personalities.

and not all tops are dominant, not all bottoms are submissive.

many, many tops are fem or femme.

and many, many masc and butch people love to bottom with all their hearts

and vers switches do exist.

also vers people can be dominant. or submissive.

and tops and bottoms can switch when it comes to kink and BDSM.

these things are very complex and the *whole* point of a queer relationship or ship is a that *no one is the man or the woman and the ship defies gender roles entirely*

so no. there’s never a cut and dried “this is the kind of person who bottoms” or “this is the kind of person who tops”

and if you think you can tell who tops and who bottoms just by getting to know them—let me tell you as a queer who fucks a lot of queers that you’re dead wrong.

I try to guess who tops, who bottoms among my friends a lot, and I get it right more than most, and I still get it wrong at least 40% of the time.

because people can and do surprise you.

anyways this is why I’m kind of done on cishet fic writers like I don’t really think y’all *get* queerness and queer sex and I think if you don’t understand the way that we love and have relationships then you should try to at least start to understand us before you write about our love and our sex lives.

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hi landlady, have you ever thought of making mr j a little frilly collar like this? I think it would be very dashing and some cats don’t seem to mind…

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Oh, it's one of the most famous works of Shotei Takahashi! Although I like his cats but I haven't thought to make it... Please give me some weeks...

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おまたせしたですよ

Thanks for your waiting

PSA y'all this motherfucker sending unsolicited (completely unconsensual) r*pe threats!!!!! Block and report!!!!!!! These "men" are the scum of the earth and i hope they die slowly and painfully after having their dicks bitten off by a pack of rabid hyenas 🔪🔪🔪

I'm,,, disgusted by the mere existence of this bitch

REBLOG TO WARN YOUR MUTUALS AND FOLLOWERS 🧡🧡🧡 STAY SAFE OUT THERE Y'ALL

“we need to stop the stigma towards drug users and addicts” and “we need to challenge the idea that being sober makes you boring” and “we need to stop acting like binge drinking to the extent you’re doing medical damage is fun and normal for young people” are all ideas that can and should coexist.

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just so we’re clear, the threshold for “binge drinking to the extent you’re doing medical damage” is waaaay lower than you think.

I work in an obstetrician and gynaecologist’s office. we have to tell patients on a regular basis that they are binge drinking weekly when they think they are simply consuming a normal amount of alcohol on the weekends.

having more than 3 drinks in a single sitting if you have an estrogen based endocrine system is a binge that is medically significant.

having more than 5 in a sitting is a medically significant binge for someone with a testosterone based endocrine system.

every time you do this, it significantly impacts your risk of getting breast cancer, and damages your liver. it takes time to recover from that liver damage. if you’re having a 3-5 or more drink binge on a weekly basis, you are an alcoholic, medically speaking, and your liver is not recovering.

again: the bar for what binge drinking is, medically, is so much lower than what you think it is.

alcohol is a really toxic substance and not something you should fuck around with.

again: if you have an estrogenized hormone system (common for most women), then 3 drinks is a binge. if you have a testosteronized hormone system (common for most men), then 5 drinks is a binge.

anything above that number, consumed as frequently as weekly or more, and you’re medically a binge drinking alcoholic.

also, if you’re drinking any quantity of alcohol 6 days a week or more, that’s another threshold at which, medically speaking, you meet the definition of alcoholism. your liver needs more days without alcohol in your system than just one a week to recover and be healthy.

I don’t say any of this to shame anyone—to me, alcoholism or substance use disorders aren’t a sign of weakness or moral failing. and most of us genuinely don’t know this stuff.

rather—I point this out because it’s important to reduce harm, and find ways to live healthier, happier lives. there is a life outside of constant binge drinking. it’s not always easy to find it. but it’s out there. you deserve a life where your emotional needs are met by something other than alcohol, and a life in which your liver is healthy, and the ways you cope and celebrate and find joy don’t put you at increased risk of cancer.

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also–even if alcohol is the only way you can self-medicate, or if you choose to go on with your alcohol usage anyway regardless of other options–you still deserve to know what it’s doing to your body.

information is key. you don’t have to stop drinking, but the utter lack of education on alcohol + the normalization of binge drinking in current society leads to many people drinking without any idea of what it’s doing to their bodies.

addicts deserve accurate medical information regardless of what they decide to do with it. for some people, losing liver function is worth the benefits they get from binge drinking, but they can’t make that choice if they don’t know what the consequences are to begin with.

addicts deserve accurate medical information regardless of what they decide to do with it.