Man I hope they cancel standardized testing, any education professional can tell you it’s a bunch of useless horseshit that does nothing except make students and teachers miserable while utterly failing to accurately gauge understanding.
“why yall gotta make everything about race?”
because everything is about race. you just upset cause we’re talking about it.
Production houses: but if the writers stay on strike we can't guarantee the future safety of your favorite shows 🥺🥺😭😭
Viewers who 1, have already lost their favorite shows because they were cancelled in spite of good ratings and good reviews or 2, have stopped watching new content entirely until the entire series has aired and concluded as a result of so many good shows getting cancelled on cliffhangers and thus leaving said viewers unable to gain closure with those characters and with a hollow viewing experience, so they've begun a, watching older shows they know came to a planned conclusion or b, revisiting their old favorites and enjoying the nostalgia or c, reading new books or fanfic instead: YOU ALREADY CAN'T GUARANTEE THE FUTURE OF OUR SHOWS SO GET FUCKING WRECKED AND PAY WRITERS WHAT THEY DESERVE!
emperor kuzco was clearly gay
hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ain’t got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when he’s rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit
Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids' movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn't get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.
He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned "hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality" summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk ("so he seems nice? He's what, in his late twenties?") and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.
Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha's fake wife and dressing up in ladies' clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress' "bless you for coming out in public" remark when Pacha says they're on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don't see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.
In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.
So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.
In response to the question “How did a movie like this get made at all much less by fucking Disney?” there was a recent Vulture article that outlines the whole shit show of a history behind this film according to everyone (writers, directors, VAs, Stings) involved. The gist of the story is that they fucked up making a whole, true-to-form Disney musical that never came to see the light of day SO BADLY that Disney switched directors, locked the writer’s room, and didn’t review a single script until weeks after the film was in theaters.
Please, read this article if you have some time. This story is wild, and involves directors being pitted against each other Bake-Off style and a shockingly intimate documentary created by the wife of Sting who, himself was heartbroken by the decimation of the songs he wrote for the film including cutting a fantastic Yzma villain song sung by Eartha Kitt that is SO DAMN GOOD but would not ever have fit the more nailed-down Yzma we would eventually come to know and love. It’s so catchy though, I’m doubling up on calls to action but please listen now:
holy shit read the article. it’s worth it and completely batshit
This is fucking insane
I've never adequately appreciated the batshit brilliance of this joke, I've taken it for granted
Literally where would be as a society without the soup store video
ive never met anyone under 25 who hasnt seen it.
It's literally an impossibly good video. The fucking performance and sheer ANGER and building frustration from both party's, the absurdity, the slow ramping ridiculousness, the way the diologue flows off itself at a breakneck speed, the phrase "I'm at soup" the pure fucking rage off both parties, the sheer almost unbelievable idiocy from the guy who's 'at soup,' the way it ends so ubruptly without losing any momentum. Its insane. I've watched it 150 times in like 2 years its never not funny.
here’s the video since op didn’t link it
Fun fact: this was written, edited, and voice acted by one guy.
Fun fact #2: this whole sketch was apparently based on an overheard conversation where someone was trying to buy chicken at The Gap.
Fun fact #3: there is actually a clothing store called Soup.
"Not everything is a poem it needs intent" yeah shut up you bitch.
Maybe accidents are beautiful. Ever think about that, dumbass?
“Not everything is
a poem it needs intent”
yeah shut up you bitch.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
for fuck’s sake—
there is a very real tendency of teenagers with anxiety disorders self diagnosing with considerably more stigmatized and impairing mental illnesses (e.g. schizophrenia, DID, personality disorders), but the best response to that isn't to get angry with them for "appropriating" lol. instead you show them coping resources for the problems they're actually having and deemphasize diagnostic categories in general. if an 18 year old is claiming to have alzheimer's, they're probably making an innocent mistake and are in genuine distress. be kind.
Also I think this trend comes, at least in part, from how brushed aside anxiety disorders can be. If your parents and teachers dismiss you with 'oh everyone feels anxious', then inevitably you're going to start thinking that there must be something else going on with you
”You must feel very scared right now; let’s talk about how to help you personally, tailored to your symptoms” will always be more helpful than “stop faking (X) for attention”. If theyre that desperate for attention or an explanation, something is wrong.
And like, at least some of them are probably right. Yeah these disorders are less common than things like anxiety disorders, but they are more common than you think they are. Like, they probably shouldn't self diagnose without doing a reasonable amount of research and talking to a professional if possible, but not every single one of them is wrong, and being wrong about something is not the same thing as lying about having something you don't. Be nice to teenagers they're still learning
Actual Phone Conversation I Had With A Girl Absolutely Going Through It This Morning:
me very quickly: hi this is dylan from x. how are you today? is now a good time to talk?
girl on the phone: what? oh you know! it's just work, work, work.
me: haha yeah! Just another busy Monday :)
girl on the phone i have known for exactly 11 seconds: sometimes i wish it would just stop. it's relentless. and it's every week! how many mondays can someone go through?
me trying to do my job: ha ha i know right? so I'm calling--
girl on the phone i have known for exactly 16 seconds: i'm so tired. i'm soooooo tired. shelby kept me up all night again. she will not get over keegan. they keep calling each other just to yell i swear to god.
me: only 4 days till the weekend and some sleep! :D
girl: yeah. but she's sleeping with me. at my house. didn't he tell you? who is going to get the dog? or the fucking 300 dollar blender I got them?
me: unfortunately no! so i would love to know more but the reason i'm calling is to get you scheduled for x job interview are you still interested?
girl whispering: what?
me awkwardly: it's...i'm dylan. from x. the x job you applied for. we would like to interview you for it.
girl: oh my god. no. oh my - I am so sorry. I thought you were my friend--I cannot believe--I told you work was relentless. I don't really mean that! I talked about blenders!
me: no, no I totally get it. It can be. But that's why you're interviewing for somewhere better! Tell Shelby to apply too! Do you have any availability on Thursday?
i went to a tiny counterserve diner once and accidentally poured sugar instead of salt all over my hashbrowns and was eating them sadly anyways. the waitress took them away and started making me another one and I tried to protest, but she just snorted and said "we're not catholic here". now every time i'm doing something painful out of obligation i think about how that is not repenting, this body is not a catholic establishment, there is no nobility in suffering.
the uncommon allergy haver to anticapitalist pipeline
in January 2023, companies became required to label sesame on all products it was present in, and undergo rigorous cleaning procedures to prevent sesame contamination, after it was declared the 9th "major" food allergen in the United States.
so, instead of considering this a mandate to give a single shit about people with sesame allergies, almost all American companies decided to just add sesame flour to all their relevant products. because apparently that was cheaper.
it's almost impossible for me to find hot dog and hamburger buns without sesame now. and I am one of the lucky ones. I'm someone who just so happened to notice the label updates, not get caught unawares and have a severe allergic reaction. I'm someone lucky enough to be surrounded by multiple choices of supermarkets, and someone with the incredible privilege to have parents who'll help me search the shelves, and cover those costs that my allergies rack up. not everyone with allergies/other intolerances has all or any of those privileges to begin with.
most food allergies will never be prevalent enough that under capitalism, it will be profitable to give them the level of accommodation that they deserve. I speak from experience with a wide portfolio of hypersensitivity quirks when I say that the rarer the food allergy, the worse it gets.
and here's the thing: I can live without hamburger buns, with only superficial decreases in my quality of life. but sesame isn't my only rare allergy, and ever since this legislation hit, I've been lying awake at night, afraid of what I might lose access to next.
I've been lying awake at night wondering what I'll have to do to live, to obtain enough safe food to survive, if any of my other allergies get this same treatment. and I reiterate. I am one of the privlidged ones.
what these companies have done is completely legal. what these companies did has also cut off up to over a million people from what were previously safe, affordable staples of their diets. a system that has any incentive not to accommodate the dietary needs of any population is not a system that can be allowed to exist. this is the uncommon allergy haver to angry, fuming anticapitalist pipeline.
[Image description: two screenshots of tumblr tags, reading:
"also pea protein. mcdicks just added pea protein without any proper warning so if you got a legume allergy, don't eat their buns."
"did you know pea protein and pea flour is a thing. i didn't. but i sure found out quick after i ate frozen nuggets and when i got gravy from a restaurant. now i have to check fucking everything because i've also found pea protein in ice cream of all things." End description.]
thank you @butchwelddone and @insidejupiter respectively for these psas. signal boosting here for all my fellow legume-allergic folks, stay safe (and stay away from McDonalds buns)
My dad has a cow milk allergy, my sibling has a coconut allergy, one of our close friends is allergic to most spices, wheat, and soy. If we’re lucky, we can find a product that any two of them can eat. Almost anything that calls itself “allergy free” is loaded with coconut.
Also! Fifteen years or so ago, all the whipped toppings went from being dairy free to advertising how they were “made with real cream!” Not to mention various other foods that followed the trend, and really screwed everyone over for having cow’s milk and whatever original milk alternative they used to cut costs both in everything.
So, yeah. For-profit food my belothed.
USAmerican corn-allergy-haver here l love you all and I think we should burn it all down.
By the way the practical [miserable] advice is to cook most things from scratch for yourself and to eat out rarely and only at restaurants you've completely vetted.
The advice that fucking nobody ever tells you about and that is why I literally went back to school to get a degree in nutrition is
If you suffer from a food allergy that cuts you off from bread and cereal products in the US you probably need to supplement your diet with vitamins because the primary source of folate in the American diet is fortified cereals and a severe folate deficiency is basically a form of anemia.
You can supplement this with vitamins but :) if you have :) grain allergies :) make sure :) that your allergens :) aren't used :) as fillers in :) the vitamins :) :) :) :)
Either you can take folate/folic acid on its own or you can take half a daily prenatal vitamin to meet the RDA for folate.
I have wheat, corn, and sesame allergies. I eat out about once a month and have to bring my own food to weddings, conferences, and anything else that will take me away from my own kitchen. I don't go to theme parks because there's nothing I can eat there. Backpacking and camping are difficult because pre-made camping foods contain my allergens and it's hard to carry foods that I know I can eat. If I go out to eat with friends no I don't I go out to have a cup of coffee - oh, is artificial creamer all you've got? nah it's got cornstarch in it, that's fine, I'll just drink it black that's okay oh wait all you've got is decaf that's fine I'll just have water OH you are using eco-friendly corn plastic cups well that's okay I am at least here being with people I'll eat when I get home. I am not on at least three medications my doctor recommended because corn is part of the product and I can't afford to have the meds made at a compounding pharmacy. Corn is in all of these things because it is RIDICULOUSLY cheap which is at least partially as a result of subsidies and is also at least partially as a result of the scaling economics of monocrops for agribusiness.
It is ten dollars cheaper to get 21 ounces more mac and cheese *shipped from canada* than it is to buy one of the pre-made foods that I can actually eat.
You may say "oh, well that's because that's the weenie organic brand that uses artisinal cheddar, of course it's more expensive than kraft" and I would have to say:
THE WEENIE ORGANIC BRAND ALSO DOESN'T PUT FUCKING CORN IN EVERYTHING.
Anyway. This has done extremely normal things to my ability to feed myself, maintain my health, and socialize as well as my desire to do arson.
i can't believe i need to say this, but please don't confess to crimes in my asks, i will not reply to the asks and i won't post them, you really don't want tumblr to get subpoena'd and you arrested
Automattic's track in this area is better than your average silicon's valley startup...
(Scroll to the bottom to the Tumblr section)
This being said, if you confess a crime here and the government request your data, the legal team's means to pushback are going to be limited.
So for all the fuck's sake,
don't be stupid.
I don’t know if I’m late to the party here noticing this, but @staff what the actual hell is this. This is what I get when I click on the link to my own mantis shrimp post, shared on Twitter. I can see the first half, and then I get forced to log-in to keep reading.
I write a free blog on your free platform, and you’re using link sharing on mobile to try to force people to sign up? Not only is this absolutely not okay - this isn’t a paywalled site and my content isn’t subscription only - but it really fucks me over as a science communicator who relies on posts being shared easily to disseminate information.
This is absolutely not okay. I’ve used this site for eight years to do for science outreach and loved it. This choice leaves a really nasty taste in my mouth.
The (very frustrating) fix is to turn off "Use default mobile theme" in Advanced Settings in Customize Theme (i.e. https://www.tumblr.com/customize/why-animals-do-the-thing in your case). Encourage everyone you know to apply this! You also need to turn on "Custom theme" from https://www.tumblr.com/settings/blog/why-animals-do-the-thing but that is already on for your blog, I think. (But I'm adding it for anyone else who needs that step. Without that, you only get the terrible dashboard-only-style view).
things librarians judge you for:
- saying the book came to you like that when clearly your dog chewed on it
- trying to reshelve books on your own
- yelling at us to get our attention
- talking on your phone when we’re trying to assist you
- yelling at non-management staff for policies they have no power over
- asking for more time on the computer when the session has already logged you off, you needed to ask for that time 5 minutes ago
- asking us to look something up for you by the call number. the call number tells you where it is. please just give me the title.
- getting upset with us for anything COVID related
things librarians do NOT judge you for (unless they’re bad at librarianing):
- reading erotica
- using the copier incorrectly
- not speaking english as a first language
- being an adult and not reading grown up books
- owing fines
- liking romance novels
- finding out your child’s card is blocked because they’ve been billed for books they’ve secretly been hiding behind their dresser
- having books overdue
- you liking graphic novels and comics
- your CHILD liking graphic novels and comics. seriously. we just want them to read.
- taking books off of a display
- asking us to check and make sure we don’t have a book you returned (with COVID and quarantining books, more things are getting missed, so asking a librarian to do a shelf check is okay! but be nice. we are So Tired and Busy. if you say something like “if you’re busy feel free to check when you have time and get back to me” we will love you. we will probably be like “you’ve been nice so i’ll go right now”)
things librarians judge, but don’t judge YOU for:
- James Patterson. Look. we all know everyone likes him. That’s great, we love that people read because of him! But we do judge James Patterson as an entity. He’s got so many goddamn books. they take up so much goddamn space. james. jimmy. jimsicle. just. stop putting your name on things, please, we are begging you. liking james patterson is Valid. BEING james patterson is not valid.
...
he got the dog to eat a pavlova
fucking son of a bitch
public service announcement that 90% of funny sourceless viral fantasy book excerpts on tumblr are from Discworld, including this one





























