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kate

@tissues-for-yourr-issues

she didn't need anyone.
that was her strength
and also her weakness.
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dear you,

i know you won’t see this. i mean- i really doubt you will. i have so many things to say to you but i can’t bear to mutter a word because i’m afraid you’ll stop the sparse talking. but don’t i deserve to know? don’t i deserve to know why you left? we were so close for so long.. and now? what are we? are we friends? are we even aquantinces? i simply want to know why we went from being each other’s person to being that one “friend” you only talk to when you really need something. was it my relationship? was it your relationship? did you need a break from me, again? i mean perhaps it was a mistake i made, or maybe even multiple mistakes? but.. if you see this, now you know why i don’t sleep anymore.

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baracknobama
zackancodeine

my mom has a friend who has a failed program-service dog and he’s literally my favorite creature

He’s a really smart lab, he learned all the commands, but he just has an affinity for doing them whenever he wants

So this lady’s dog literally turns on-off lights, opens doors, opens the fridge, etc… at his own wishes.

Her house looks like its baby-proofed, with kid safe locks on everything and stuff, but really she just has a dog that’s learned all the mobility service dog commands but has a mind of his own.

Chaotic Good Boy

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isnt

me: *lowkey wishes people take more photos of me in a poetic way*

also me: *smacks anyone pointing a camera in my direction*

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confirmance
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latinkilledtheromans

MYSTERY STORY TIME

So there was a single, solitary kiwi on our counter in the kitchen.

And I decided to make fun of my roommate for it, because who buys one, single, solitary kiwi? So I asked her that.

Roommate: I didn’t buy a kiwi.

Me: This isn’t your kiwi?

Roommate: No?

Me: But this isn’t my kiwi.

Roommate: That kiwi was there when I got home.

Me: I don’t even eat kiwi!

As you can see, it’s a real kiwi. Here it is, on my counter, giving away nothing.

But I was still confused as to where it came from. Did one of us accidentally buy a kiwi at the store? 

So I looked up the Kiwiny company to figure out which stores it’s sold at, to see which one of us might have bought it, since we tend to use different grocery stores.

Kiwiny doesn’t have American retailers.

There is literally no reason for this kiwi to be in my kitchen.

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221cbakerstreet

It came all the way from Italy and this is how you welcome it