Not likely, Bootlicker.

I’m sure all you Tumblr users have heard by now about the changes being made to Tumblr’s ecosystem so that the site can make more money. And I’m sure most of you are as uneasy as I am or, in fact, are angry about the proposed changes.

The reason they need to make more money is simple: Tumblr is $30 million USD in debt.

For this site to run and for them to pay employees, the site needs to generate revenue.

This place maybe a hellsite but it’s our hellsite. We are still here because we actually like it here. Besides, the other social media sites are crashing or will crash soon. Where else would we go?

Now, I did some research. There are at least 300 million users and over 500 million blogs. One of the cheapest things to buy on the Tumblr store is the crab package you can gift to another blog, which is $3 USD.

If each and everyone of us buys a crab package, we get to keep Tumblr alive and kicking. @oracleoutlook suggested that we make a holiday of it on July 29th. It seems to have resonated with people. Others have also asked for that to extend to August 5th, as some people don’t get paid til the beginning of the month.

Many people have already agreed to celebrate July 29th as Crab Day, a day of posting crab memes and gifting crabs to other users. And if you cannot afford to buy crabs, that is a-okay! Participate in the crab memes. Who would pass up the chance to make and reblog memes about crabs, after all?

This hellsite is ours. Let us remind them of that.

okay then lets do this.

take me to the moooon 🐄👽🛸

I spent so much of my life romanticizing the Great and Powerful Enormity of the Sea, reading about the salt and the sweat of the sailors straining to haul the sails or anchor while dreading the monsters in the cold, icy deep fathoms below…and now you tell me that a fathom is only 6 feet deep -

Six feet is still more than enough for a grave.

Hi, that is the most metal addition you could have possibly made to this post

For every fathom you descend into the ocean the pressure around you increases. By five fathoms down you’re experiencing two atmospheres of pressure. At about ten fathoms, a human can no longer survive on their own, and must have supplemental oxygen to continue their descent. With specialized diving gear, we can go to perhaps 60 fathoms under our own power. By that depth, even the clearest waters are dark. Perhaps one percent of visible light remains, mostly in the blue range. The water is blues and greys around you, shadowy like the last minutes before nightfall. The water below is darker still, impenetrable. But life still lurks beneath you, in the untold fathoms of the darkest sea, in an environment so hostile even our machines struggle to reach them.

i genuinely believe bill watterson is god btw

just go see an ob-gyn

Help me ob-gyn kenobi, you’re my only hope.

She needed more midwife-clorians. 

I really hope everyone reblogging this followed the link and read the article, because it’s larger point is really good “Reproductive health and childbirth is a crutch, and Lucas gets away with it because his audience accepts that these things are mysterious and cannot be intervened with the way that that the loss of limbs can be remedied with robot prosthetics, or the way Luke can be rescued from near-death on Hoth by being submerged in a bacta tank. Having babies is worse than being mauled by a wampa ice creature or being chopped up by lightsabers and falling into a river of lava. Lucas can write a world like that, and worse, the audience will accept it. But uteruses aren’t made of malignant magic. Women’s bodies are real physical things that can be studied and understood and when necessary, cured. ”

IDK about everyone else, but I’ve actually been certified as a doula and childbirth educator and worked in women’s health media for most of a decade.  All points valid, but “Help me OB-GYN Kenobi” broke me. 

And this is how you can tell a story was written by men because pre-natal healthcare never even occurred to the writer. Women’s insides are a mysterious and magical place that no man either can fathom, or just just not want to think about, so in stories like this they just handwave it away as” dying in childbirth”.

Help me, OB-GYN Kenobi.

https://www.deviantart.com/capnchef/art/OBGYN-Kenobi-438450694

I love how everyone’s like YES ALL POINTS VALID

But

to be fair, it is a brilliantly executed pun

imo. if you're an adult and are afraid of becoming an older adult out of some worry that you will lose your joy and sense of self . it is a good idea to make friends with/follow/generally be around people in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and up. nothing quells the reflexive "oh god i'm going to be getting older" thing more than hanging out with people who are older and are just as weird as you, have just as much fun, and are often very happy and fulfilled

apparently, I joined this tumblr place at 09/09/2010 4:46:14 PM.

i love tumblr because of the close-knit community of girls who have never gotten over anything ever not even a little

Sharing the secrets of your hearth with strangers who will never be able to meet or thank you. Honoring the dead through learning their traditions of the home; emulation and exaltation. A good carrot cake.

your opponent is the most selected option. please don't spoil anything in the tags

@presidentofthehotgirlclub not a kitty video, but i think you'll like this if you haven't seen it already

"There are no monsters in the sea, only the ones we make up in our own heads" Bless you, ma'am.

@lemonsharks

That is absolutely a kitty video. Sea kitties.

Road leading to Taoyuankyo, Japan. Photography by yuuui @uyjpn

This is how the James Web telescope works

A million little eyes staring into the cosmos to help paint a picture of our place in the universe.

That's an angel

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

I am in love with you /p

Adding Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella

21. The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

22. The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

adding the Doctors Without Borders one

I LOVE tumblr storytime, so here’s a bunch more your weekend reading. Enjoy!

24. The Queen with Three Cursed Children

25. Tiny Dragon with one coin hoard

26. Haunted house

27. Shark hero was about to go rogue

28. Grandma lives in the woods comic

29. A Different Aftermath comic

30. Battery (microstory but I love it so much)

31. It’s A Date comic

32. Supervillian kidnaps rival’s kid and they want to stay

33. Narrative Town

34. I have been hired to clean the wizard tower comic

35. Robot Apocalypse

36. The Statues That Do Not Weather

37. Kushiel

38. Tooth Fairy

39. Alien abduction

40. Felonious wish-granting

41. When humans met actual space orcs

42. Space cousins

WAIT REBLOG THIS VERSION INSTEAD

The Supervillain Wrangler definitely needs to be on this list.

3 images of the Japanese countryside. by Japanese photographer Akine Coco

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading