turner kae

you will never know how fucking scared i am everyday that i’m gonna lose you

I know i’m overthinking but then I add things up in my head or notice the pattern of her behavior change and can’t help but get lost in my own head of madness

All I wanted was reassurance. That’s all I fucking wanted.

i’m just gonna shut up and stop trying to express my stupid feelings cause all it’s gonna do is push her away and i’m just gonna keep my insecurities to myself and at night i’ll cry them out. good plan? good plan.

i’m so fucking pathetic I wouldn’t be surprised if she left.

I haven’t posted on here in forever but whenever I really need to type something out I always come here. It’s theraputic for me.

I’m tired of being scared all the time. I’m tired of my anxiety. I’m tired of all the vivid nightmares. I’m tired of the breakdowns over little things. I’m tired of never believing the ones around me actually love me. I don’t want to be this way, I hate being this way. I hate that I have to be reassured, but fuck i’m sorry I just love her so much and if she left again, that would be it. And i’m just always scared about everything not just losing her. I always have dreams that my house is gonna get brokem into, or my dad is gonna get killed, or i’m gonna killed. Just last night I had a dream that me and my girlfriend got into a car accident. I just want it to stop..