Just once, I want the hero to go “your wife/sister/mother/whatever would not have wanted this!”, and the villain to go, “actually, we talked about this a lot. She was really into vigilante justice and eye for an eye stuff. She always said, if something like this happens, avenge me.”

“Your mother never would have wanted this!”

“Wow you clearly never met my mother.”

“Your wife wouldn’t have wanted this!”

“To be honest, I’m following her list of instructions. Do you think I came up with this plan by myself?”

“I wanted to go to art school, but no! You had to kill my sister and make me enact her 37 step plan on what to do in case she was murdered!”

I saw the almost kissing template and RAN

Some meme doodles as well as a timeskip lamb design (still somewhat working on it but i like how they look so far!)

“You have my sword” said the Ranger. “And my Bow” said the elf. “And my axe” said the dwarf. “And all of my guns” said the American.

“And my wife”, said the real estate agent. “Now, let’s go kill Dracula”

I CAN'T BREATHE

I CAN'T

A

Stupid sexy Oko!

Unfamiliar

the rubber duck

For anyone curious what they mean by the rubber duck, rubber duck debugging is a tactic used by programmers to figure out bugs in the code. To do it, they explain the code, verbally, line by line, to the rubber duck until they find it. 

It’s also very useful for writers, and I’ve used it multiple times with rubber ducks, stuffed animals, and my friends.

“when i say it out loud i realize where the stupid was”

I literally cannot count the number of times I’ve gone to someone and told them ‘I can’t figure out what’s wrong with my story, please let me explain it to you’ and that was all it took. Sometimes they ask helpful questions like ‘did you remember to feed them’ or ‘so is this all on the same day’ but other times I don’t even need that, it just figures itself out as soon as I try to explain it to someone else.

It’s one of my go-to pieces of writing advice. You’re stuck on your story? sit down and tell me/someone all about it. 

Me, halfway through a sentence: and oh fuck, thank you!

The words leave my brain and suddenly my brain goes wait, no, that’s wrong.

Sometimes I need direction, but often times it’s like “nevermind, that’s the issue”

Mr Chocolate Guy really is out there doing Things huh

Also, rendition of how to enjoy this piece:

TRULY though, it's alright to be put off by someone's actual words or actions but if you feel uncomfortable with someone you just met because something "just feels off" or they have "bad vibes" or you think you detect some kind of "darkness" from them I'm sorry to say you are almost definitely just having a subconscious visceral reaction to superficial surface differences. Whether it's the shape of their face or the frequency of their voice or just the subtlest unfamiliar mannerisms, that whole "something's not right with this person" emotion is about as meaningful as a dumbass little monkey creature on your shoulder saying "STRANGE!!! WANTS TO EAT US!!!!!!!!!!!!" and you're nodding like "wow booboo you're onto something"

"But sometimes your intuition can be right." Yeah, sometimes it's put together from little glances out of the corner of your eye to figure out that someone is indeed following you and you need to run. Sometimes it's panicking because you got vaguely reminded of a scene in a horror movie. It's a great tool when you might be in danger and have no other way of checking things out but it is absolutely no substitute for other kinds of thinking. If you rely on it too much with no factchecking it'll just tell you that all your prejudices are always right.

Yeah exactly. It's good to have a healthy level of caution, but too many people think they can tell if someone's "shifty" and it just reminds me of that study where it turned professional police interrogators couldn't actually detect liars any better than random guesswork. They were all confident that they could tell when someone was lying, but all they were really picking up on were signs of nervousness or social awkwardness!

Some guy once thought I was "disturbed" because - and I was only a teenager at the time - he saw me apparently "rocking," as in I was standing around bored or tired and I swayed back and forth a little. He says that's what "crazy people" do. I've also found out people were unsettled by the fact that I "look around constantly." Things that feel so dang natural and innocuous to me are other people's "signs of a possible serial killer" list.

Another shocking one when I was younger was one of my own uncles confronting my mother that something must be wrong because I look down at the ground too often while walking. Literally just wanna watch where I step?? Doesn't everyone? How often did the guy step in dog shit, trip on a rock or miss a perfectly amazing snail, I wonder.

Why so many of these tied to what direction your eyeballs point, anyway.

i hate it when i cant even write a poem about something because its too obvious. like in the airbnb i was at i guess it used to be a kids room cause you could see the imprint of one little glow in the dark star that had been missed and painted over in landlord white. like that's a poem already what's the point

you get it. you get the themes. i dont have time to do it justice. just look at it its on the ceiling

these exchanges and this fiddling about for the collective to appreciate in passing is, to me, true artistic spirit. I don't know what the past was truly like to live, but in my heart i know that humans have always been... like this

Coño don limpio

mr clean off the shits

am fascinated by the implication that this person thinks that a backflip clean out of his pants and onto a swing would be easier

I have an interview at the Maine Oceanarium today and the guy emailed me JUST NOW and was like Hey can you put together a short presentation on an animal of your choice. My interview is in like 3 hours

You could say I (s)nailed it

Apparently I did (s)nail it because they offered me the job. Thank you Power of moon snail mtuesday

put spikes on your wheelchair's handles. wrap barbed wire around your cane or crutch so it'll hurt like a motherfucker if someone kicks or grabs it from under your hand. wear a personal alarm and pull the pin every time someone moves you without your consent, leans on your chair, takes a seat on your rollator, taps your hearing aid, steals your AAC device. scream for help when you're abducted. wail like you're in agony when people trip you up or knock into you. take pepper spray to the grocery store. take a knife to the club. leave cards that say "fuck you" under the wipers of inconsiderately parked cars and scratch access codes for bathrooms on the outside of the door. we are not begging for mercy, we're fighting dirty. we have to.

someone grabbed my wheelchair today and then shouted "ouch! there's spikes!"

YEAH!! GET FUCKED !!!!!!

I witnesses someone trying to shove a wheelchair user because they felt the wheelchair wasn't going fast enough, I guess. Not even a second later, this asshole is screaming in pain because the handles had razor wire on them the back of the wheelchair had a sign saying "do not touch."

NGL, I was laughing and gave the wheelchair user a nod. They just kept on going after a nod and wink at me. Fucking amazing.

When I was in hs, I had to use crutches a few times. Classmates though it was funny to kick them while I'm standing. Soooo I glues nails on the bottom 18 inches or so. Two students screaming and yelling resulted in no one kicking them again.

Do not fuck with mobility devices. They are an extension of our body. If you decide to violate our boundaries, be prepared for retaliation, much like if someone shoved or pushed you. Keep yourself to yourself.

sketch commissions for @thethrillof​! feat. Spider No Like Banana

small bonus that i didn’t wanna clean up but felt like i should include anyway:

does anyone know what kind of bug this is? is it poisonous?