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Time Travel Toke Up

@time-travel-toke-up

Dude. I’m only ever on here because I’m high and like memes. I’m sorry and/or you’re welcome. That’s my cat Rudolph Valentino. patreon.com/theabidingkitty

Every morning I wake with the hope

That when I look in the mirror,

The reflection will prove to me time travel is possible.

Because I hope to be so awestruck,

Eyes gritty with sleep and mind muddled

With that booting up of conciousness-

Perhaps still grasping at a fleeing dream,

That for a moment I forget myself.

I am once again a little girl,

Seeing people at the mall,

Fascinated by every passing figure.

And time stands still because my eyes glimpse the coolest person I couldn't have dreamed could exist even in movies.

And realize that dork smiling back is me.

my brother had a brilliant idea that i wanted to share with other people who have four-legged family members: he trained our two cats to go directly to the door when they hear the fire alarm.

obviously at first the fire alarm sent them scrambling for cover, but he started slowly by giving them treats whenever it went off, when someone burned food or forgot to open the fireplace flu. he then progressed to calling them to the door to offer treats immediately after the alarm went off. and it actually wasn't too long before the cats voluntarily started going to the door upon hearing the alarm.

i think this was genius because in the event of a real emergency we know exactly where the cats will be and we will not have to waste precious time trying to find them to rescue them. i think this method would work equally well with dogs and probably other free-roaming pets such as rabbits, ferrets, etc. and i certainly encourage others to give it a shot!

I trained Neelix to alert me to Sounds. So in the even of A Sound he'd find me to let me know about it. Oven timers, knocking at the door, weird creature stuck in the yard, etc. This has the added effect of being able to scoop him up and bring him to safety in the event said sound is a fire alarm or a tornado siren.

The downside is, when I had a baby, every time it cried he'd barrel into the room to let me know. Even if I was already in the room. And if I couldn't make The Sound stop (because an infant works differently than an oven timer), he'd start biting me urgently. 😅

Confused, but doing his best:

Oh, context is that I'm deaf not that I wanted to create a beast that'd harass me over sounds.

I am very serious when I say, cancel your subscriptions now. Don't cross the picket line.

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that's not actually helping them at all, you're just giving the studios another reason to point at their subscription numbers and say 'see? we can't afford to pay the writers and the actors!'

By canceling your membership, you're not helping them at all.

congratulations, you've played yourself in not playing a role in the strike.

You're not being serious, you're being ridiculous!

Just, a little strike 101: if the union calls for a boycott, you boycott. If they don't, you don't. Sometimes not boycotting puts more pressure on services striking workers would normally provide, so metes it proves value in other ways. Do what the union asks. Simples

learning that self depreciation isnt cool and just makes the people around you uncomfortable unironically improved my mental health a lot. like if you just stop saying negative shit about yourself you will genuinely like yourself more and other people wont be repulsed by your attitude and you will have more friends. it's true.

i learned a while ago that the whole "most of the stars we see in the sky are actually already dead because they're so far away that we're seeing them as they were thousands of years ago" thing is a myth because stars live so long that it's unlikely many, if any, of them have burned out yet, but i'm still glad that myth exists because there's just something about the thought of the sky as a graveyard of stars that gets to me

It’s interesting because one day that will be true for some people in some planet out there, but we are so young, the universe is so young, that we live in a time when we get to see more stars born than we ever will see die. There’s poetry in looking up and seeing a star graveyard, but I think there’s also poetry in looking up and seeing a star nursery.

Like, momento mori but also momento vivere

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we live in a time when we get to see more stars born than we ever will see die

as the Barbie movie is fast approaching this is your weekly reminder that femme is not an aesthetic! I also wish to wear and own every pink thing in existence and the Barbie movie has certainly unleashed a plethora of clothing unto the world that I would personally consider enticing as a femme. However. You are not required to like pink or hearts or inherently girly things to be femme. You do not have to dress like Barbie to be femme. You certainly can but you don't have to. Being femme is and always will be about loving butches and studs. No dress code required.

as the Barbie movie is fast approaching this is your weekly reminder that femme is not an aesthetic! I also wish to wear and own every pink thing in existence and the Barbie movie has certainly unleashed a plethora of clothing unto the world that I would personally consider enticing as a femme. However. You are not required to like pink or hearts or inherently girly things to be femme. You do not have to dress like Barbie to be femme. You certainly can but you don't have to. Being femme is and always will be about loving butches and studs. No dress code required.

never let kids get into stories about shapeshifting first theyre pretending to be wolves on the playground then theyre getting radicalized by animorphs then theyre realizing the human body is an impermanent and malleable thing then theyre discovering you can take a potion to change your gender in real life

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Something just occurred to me.

You know how back in the pre-Internet days, it was nearly impossible to watch a TV series in its entirety because the local affiliate stations would deliberately air the episodes all out of order, then do some sort of statistical sorcery to figure out which particular episodes gave the advertisers the best return for their dollar and just run those ten or twelve specific episodes in an endless semi-randomised rotation, and that was why every time you channel-surfed across a particular show it always seemed to be the same damn episode?

Twitter’s algorithm is literally the social media equivalent of that.

In middle/high school I put all the music I had on an off-brand mp3 player and would just set it to Shuffle All. I quickly realized the player’s shuffle fuction wasn’t purely random–it was weighted towards my favorite songs (aka the songs with the most plays).

Only I had never chosen those songs. They were just the random few to pop up the first time I shuffled everything, and they started playing more and more frequently as this horribly short-sighted algorithm fed itself bad data, until I was so annoyed at those few songs that I stopped listening entirely.

Anyway a few years later Facebook did the exact same thing with my friends list, siphoning me off from seeing most of my feed because OBVIOUSLY I interacted with them the most, therefore they must be my besties. But really they were just the only people showing up for me to interact with in the first place, until I was down to just a few people I never really talked to from high school, a college prof, and my racist uncle I kept calling out.

And shortly after that, YouTube followed suit, replacing “Subscriptions” with “Recommended” as the default category, and trying to find “things I liked” when it was really just whatever three channels I’d watched last, whatever unrelated viral vid it wanted to push that week, and weird perennials like Whose Line clips or lockpick reviews or YTPs that seem to hibernate for months at a time then return like locusts.

All this to say: the big mysterious algorithms that now run all the major platforms on the internet are never acting in your best interests. They’re just that junky mp3 player’s Shuffle All with a fresh coat of paint, and, to be clear, this is by design. They are VERY good at what they do, which is funneling users into nice predictable pockets of content that advertisers can exploit.