doing this for you
I wish I didn’t get my hopes up.
tell me why a mother bird flies to the tree
where her babies wait for the food they can’t seek
while I told them the news of somebody new
that liked me for me
just as you gave up on me
was I not enough again
was I wrong again
as the mother bird flew away
she didn’t return
and her babies grew cold
starved and returned to the earth
and the cycle begins again
i can’t do this anymore
this might be the final act
Hey it’s me again, I don’t understand why so many people want to date me rn
and why are they mainly men
I thought it was because I cut my hair
But I just
Idk
One has been a constant and is no because they’re too much like my dad
One idk how to feel about because I keep on being reminded of the one time they bootycalled me
One of them I could love if they weren’t in a relationship, they’re literally perfect and I’d worship the ground they walked on
One is a hard pass, but idk how to get them to stop
One won’t leave me the fuck alone
One is way too much of straight man
One lives in Chicago and if they hadn’t moved, I’d definitely be with them because they’re so kind and they actually care about me and how I feel
I just, idk. Having all of them like me makes me feel like a whore. Which I know is bad, but y’all. Leave me alone to question if I’m non-binary cause too many of you don’t care about me and just want me for my looks and/or for sex.
when I’m with you I feel like I’m flying through sky
When I’m with you I feel like times not passin by
And maybe I feel like I’ll finally cry and let it out
Cause you make me feel again
And I don’t know how to feel feelings
IM GOING INSANE STOP SENDING ME JESUS WATTPAD AND FAN EDITS, STOP TRYING TO HEAL ME WITH YOUR MYSOGYNISTIC TENDENCIES. I DONT NEED TO BE SAVED, IM DOING JUST FINE. JESUS DIDNT SAVE MY BEST FRIEND WHEN HE DIED IN A CAR ACCIDENT AND JUST WACTHED IT HAPPEN, WHAT KIND OF GOD WOULD WATCH PEOPLE SUFFER AND DO NOTHING. I AM NOT A JESUS STAN.
sometimes I feel like Steven, I am my mom, but I’m my dad to. Have to be there for me because they’ve never really been there the way I needed them to be. my moms come the closest, but my dads let me down for the last time. This has defiantly fucked up the way I look for love, I don’t know how I’m supposed to be treated, but I just want to be loved like how Percy loved Annabeth or how Louisa Clark loved will traynor or even meridith grey and Christa Yang. I don’t want a moment of your time, I want to be in your life where we support each other and build each other up instead of leaving each other confused and left behind and forgotten. Had something like the last ship mentioned when I was younger and I’m 99% sure I was in love and didn’t know it, but It doesn’t matter because she never saw me that way. I hate having emotions
When surrounded by all white people, I will no longer say that I’m black and mexican, I will say that I’m mixed and nothing more. Every time I’m asked if I get to say the n word like my whole identity depends on whether or not I can say the n word, and like if you know me, I would never use it even if I thought I could. It’s a gross word and I don’t understand why anyone would want to say it and the amount of times I’ve been asked for the n-word pass makes me want to hurl. I don’t bring it up unless someone asks because I don’t want to be the person who always mentions being bi-racial, but I’m not just Mexican and I’m not just black, I am both identities and i don’t need to act a certain way to be me. It just doesn’t sit right with me when you talk about something you know nothing about as a white man, don’t speak on issues that don’t effect you or pertain to you. Bring biracial is complicated on its own because it’s hard being fully accepted in either community because of something I cannot control. I straighten my hair because I was never taught how to take care of my hair because my dad left my mom who had me at 14, sorry I’m not acting they way you think a biracial person should behave.. anyways now that this is out of my system, I’m currently working out so I can look like korra just for fun
Wait, are you telling me other people don’t know what I’m thinking unless I tell them
I’m losing my mind