Took a wrong turn somewhere

i took a nap and woke up in all these goddam spinanch

TYPA GIRL blackpink @ coachella

jennie, 'typa girl' @ coachella 2023 (cr. paint it black)

Blackpink - Typa Girl at Coachella.

Americans be like: My grandpa 😠😠😠 served in the Korean War 😠😠😠 and killed 9 people 😠😠😠 to fund his college degree in clownery 😠😠😠 Respect him or leave the country 😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬

That’s a super light story huh? My great grandfather got killed in action from a land mine to protect this country. If you don’t wanna respect the history or stand for a national anthem😁then leave to your peaceful home and fuck right off

How did your great grandpa stepping on a landmine protect this country

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Happy Memorial Day

via

EMILY PRENTISS OEDIPUS WRECKS | 16x5

Rocky Horror is turning 50 next month and people still act like being gay was invented by Ellen in 1997

But honestly! Renowned French poet Théophile de Viau wrote the poetic ode to King James titled "The Duke of Buckingham," containing the immortal lines "One man fucks Monsieur le Grand de Bellegarde/Another fucks the Comte de Tonnerre/And it is well known that the King of England/Fucks the Duke of Buckingham" exactly 400 years ago and people still act like being gay was invented by Oscar Wilde in 1890

Niankhkhnum and Khnumhotep were buried together in the 25th century BC and people still act like being gay was invented by renowned French poet Théophile de Viau 400 years ago

Gilgamesh and Enkidu "loved each other like man and wife" in 2700 BC and ppl STILL act like being gay was invented by Niankhkhnum and Khnumhotep in the 25th century BC

Nearly every social species on the planet has a non zero frequency of homosexuality and most likely had for millions of years before primates first evolved and ppl still act like being gay was invented by Gilgamesh and Enkidu in 2700 BC

What if when we were born we were each assigned a Wikipedia page like a social security number would that be fucked up or what

do you mean a wikipedia page about us? or do you mean some baby is arbitrarily given the rights and responsibilities to update the paramecium article?

ok I did mean a Wikipedia page about us. But keep talking I like where you’re headed

What's your government-assigned Wikipedia page? (No rerolls. I am in charge of "1929 in Wales" now. Not a great year, some bad floods in November.)

I'll be looking after Enrico Benzing, an Italian man who designs race cars.

Mine is Micrechites! boy do I need to work on it.

Character art for Candela Obscura by Lisa Fricke (@lizzart-zardonicz and itsLizzart on Twitter) — source

i wanna go on a rant about centaurs but idk if im up for drawing the illustrations this rant needs

i’m just gonna use photos.

HERE’S MY BIGGEST ISSUE WITH CENTAURS THAT I SEE DONE MOST FREQUENTLY: THE HORSE PART IS TOO BIG.

‘but roach, horses are big. if you have a human-sized human half and horse-size horse half of course it’s going to be an awkward mis-match.’

no! the thing is that gigantasaurus horses are a really recent, modern, rich bitch status symbol kind of horse and have warped the popular conception of how big a horse is, or should be. like, look at this horse:

a friesian horse. this is the SUV of horses. it’s a huge, intimidating status symbol that consumes so many resources it’s not actually very good at sports or utility or even being a vehicle. it mostly does dressage, which is kind of like horse dancing. this is not a normal size of horse.

this is a clydesdale. it’s a carthorse. it was built to pull extremely heavy wagons in a straight line and, importantly, to look like hot shit while doing so. it is also not a normal size of horse.

this is a belgian draft horse. it also pulls heavy loads, traditionally plows, stumps, rocks, timber, and as such it’s disconcertingly buff. that huge neck and massive shoulders give it enough strength to haul the shit out of anything you can wrap a chain around, but again, it is nowhere near a normal horse.

this is a mustang, a horse designed to be ridden for significant periods of time and over significant amounts of land, for herding cows, for not being too fussy, delicate, or high maintenance. note how much smaller it is than the purpose-built superhorses up there.

and this….

this is a Przewalski’s horse, a mongolian wild horse. i don’t think they’re the exact ancestor of domestic horses, but they’re pretty darn close. mongolian domesticated horses are still built very similarly, and they’re about the size of a bike.

for most of history, horses have been about this big. the romans rode horses this size. mongolian nomads ride horses this size–the mongolian derby is the longest in the world.  they can basically carry their own body weight for hours at a time, and a team of them can pull thousands of pounds of gear. a horse this size might look like a dinky toy compared to carthorses, drafthorses, dressage horses, even american trail horses. but it’s actually a standard and extremely functional size for a horse.

and if you want to draw a centaur that doesn’t look like a toothpick stuck into a log, it’s the size of horse you should be looking at.

THANK YOU, YES

laudna casts comforting (?) presence

Candela Obscura May 25th 2023