when i was post op after top surgery i had a good friend there with me to help recover. but the nurse didnt get the memo and when i woke up she was like “ok i’m gonna go get your girlfriend and bring her in to see you!” and i remember being so zonked on anesthesia and so disoriented i just laid there thinking wow…… all that an they’re bringing me a girlfriend too this place is amazing
There’s discovering that you have a kink as in learning something new about yourself, and there’s discovering that you have a kink as in you always knew you were into it, but you didn’t realise it was a kink because you honestly thought everybody was into it, and of the two, the second one is much, much funnier.
It’s like the boner-based equivalent of folks with undiagnosed food allergies going “I just thought bananas were supposed to be spicy”.
Please… you CANNOT HIDE THIS IN THE TAGS
> #you never see foot fetishists talking about how all men naturally crave toes as part of the human condition
Not only have I seen that, I have seen it in a power point at a conference
You’ve seen in a what now
did i stutter
Throwback to that reddit post about the guy who learned exercising doesn’t make everyone incredibly horny and realized he’s come across as an asshole to every partner he’s ever had
I genuinely love (in a weird way) how horrified and regretful he is at how awful he accidentally sounded. This is a person who is self-aware, not an asshole, and never wanted to make anyone feel bad.
I’m dying over here. This poor guy.
If you ever feel like you must be the most unobservant person in the world, remember: I once spent half a year failing to notice that my new favourite restaurant was a money-laundering front for the Ukrainian mafia.
(I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but in retrospect, the fact that it was always dead no matter the time of day - I think the busiest I ever saw it was five people, myself included - well, that should have been a tipoff. Also, the waitstaff kept calling me “Mr. Prokopetz”, which I had assumed was just part of the restaurant’s gimmick, but given that “Prokopetz” is a Ukrainian surname, I’m now force to wonder whether they’d thought I was, you know, in the business. I just liked the pierogi!)
What I need to know is how on earth did OP finally realize his favorite restaurant was a money-laundering front for the mafia.
I’d like to say I put together the clues, but in reality, I just showed up one day to find that the place had been indefinitely shut down, and later learned it was because the managers had all been arrested.
What I really want to know is how good the food was?
Excellent, if your tastes run to the “heavy cream and too much garlic” end of the spectrum.
Every crime front I’ve ever eaten at has had completely amazing food, honestly. I am pretty convinced that if you want to open a front, you don’t choose “restaurant” as your front-business unless you have a relative who loves to cook.
It tickles me that this is evidently a sufficiently common experience that people find it relatable. (Seriously, check the notes!) We should write reviews or something.
did I just read the line “every crime front I’ve ever eaten at” with my own two eyes
Look, I went to college and lived my early adulthood in a town whose entire thing was import/export, and we had a lot of restaurants that were suspiciously empty except when they were closed and filled with very serious men in nice clothes.
They were usually run by someone who was about the right age to be some adult’s parents or grandparents, and in the case of the two Korean restaurants matching this description, they didn’t speak English. Universally though, they were very pleased to see customers, very proud of their cooking, and very very interested in keeping us far away from the aforementioned serious men in nice clothes. And despite having huge dining rooms and never having more than a couple customers, they never went out of business.
Also, because I am very, very stupid and sometimes don’t think before I talk, I once said loudly, over the phone, while sitting in one of these places, “Hey! Yeah if you want to meet us, we’re eating at [place]. You know…[place]? You totally know it. The Front, on Warwick st!”
The looks I got from every single employee were amazing and then I left.
We had a corner store/deli-place near our apartment in college. Everyone knew they were in on something and no one cared because they looked out for their customers and their neighborhood as a whole.
They started stocking my favorites because I mentioned them within hearing range once, would tell their “vendors” to move out of the way if we stopped in. I walked a different route home and got harassed one night and they asked after me. When they found out what happened, they declared “Consider it taken care of, you should never be afraid around here.” Never happened again.
Everyone needs their friendly neighborhood crime lord.
friendlytroll
This is both my favorite and makes me fondly remember home. Less of the eateries, more of the mysterious retail joints that never seem to close despite no one ever buying anything, though. Well. Aside from the juice bar. Didnt last, though.
I found these places everywhere I lived. My favorite was an omurice place near my home in Japan, and a mother/son officially ran it. The food was incredible, and one night I was there and there was a boisterous crowd of BLATANTLY yakuza men eating and drinking. They started talking to me, and were super nice. Said they wanted to “practice their English,” and paid for my food and drinks and then said they wanted to take me to karaoke. That was a little alarming, but the mother/son, who seriously looked after me as the only foreigner in the area, said I should go, and the son came along. So we piled into a white landboat Cadillac and partied until dawn.
One of the older men at the party took me to my neighborhood and dropped me off out front (the car was literally too big to fit down the small neighborhood streets) and said that I had his blessing.
Which was confusing, but I was drunk, so whatever. Then I went back to the restaurant about a week later and the mother said, “the family approves of you. You may marry our son if you wish and be welcomed.”
I did not marry him, but wow. There were no hard feelings, either. They still helped out if I got harassed by the cops (which happened a lot in these smaller towns with no foreigners) or anything like that.
And to this day, no omurice has ever compared.
Our go to Chinese buffet turned out to be a front for a human trafficking ring
Over the past 24 hours
- Affirmative action is now illegal
- There is a constitutionally protected right for businesses to refuse service to minority groups as long as they can shoehorn the words "religion" and "free speech" into their justification
- No student loan forgiveness
Redacted redacted redacted redacted redacted redacted
Forgot that we had a deep tissue massage gun and thought my partner was offering to hunt me for sport to cheer me up last night.
The more i read LOTR themore im convinced that sam thinks he is in a 24/7 d/s kink relationship with fucko that fucko is completely unaware of
THATS HIS NAME!!!
characters who are absolutely convinced down to their bones that they are unlovable being subjected to the mortifying ideal of being wholly and unconditionally loved. that’s the good stuff. never get tired of it.
that crunchy vibe that 70s/80s movies have that modern movies simply cannot capture... that kind of quiet empty vibe to em that can be played for either bleakness or a peaceful energy... why do all modern movies (even the great and pretty ones) feel overproduced after watching an older film. what is it I can't put my finger on it but it's there I can feel it
- Shot on film
- No digital colour grading (today’s films are horribly over processed)
- No in-the-computer composite layered scenes with virtual sets etc.
- practical sets and effects
- hand painted mattes / hand animated vfx
- You used the light you had instead of endlessly tweaking it
- Sociologically, people stopped going to movies as much in the late 1960s / early 70s because television had really taken off, the era of the ‘tv movie’ started, so studios greenlit a lot of low budget auteur films that had to focus on meaning & relationships instead of spectacle.
8. Pacing.
This is the biggest thing, and it's not even something most people will even realize they're noticing. Movies became more uniform in their structure, as hollywood found the "formula" for a hit movie. It means you lose quiet, peaceful scenes that don't fit into the pattern. That uniformity has done more to hurt the emotional tone of films than any visual effects tricks.
In 2005, Blake Snyder released a book: Save the Cat! It discussed movie "beats" and and gave an outline for movie pacing.
That outline has been followed like it's religious dogma for the majority of Hollywood movies ever since. It's enough that you can literally count the minutes in movies and say "ok, here comes the antagonist's big move."
it’s not just pacing but also average shot length (sometimes shortened to “ASL,” but not to be confused with american sign language.) a movie that only cuts every 12 seconds is gonna feel drastically different from a movie that cuts every 2.5 seconds.
As someone who's been watching a whole lot of 1970s horror movies lately alongside 2000s remakes, can confirm all of the above.
menalez
some nice bits that were on the link! medicine has a massive misogynistic bias it needs to address.
bone-jar
my family has a history of hypothyroidism, but my mom wasnt diagnosed for decades. she was misdiagnosed and only symptoms were addressed without searching for the actual reason. even now, because how how long she went untreated, her bodys systems are extremely taxed, causing other issues. her body is permanently off the deep end to some degree because doctors refused to investigate to a proper degree.
if you have consistent symptoms, keep pushing. the doctor is not always right. keep pushing.
The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you’ll learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same.
I don’t know who you are, but your addition to my post is amazing. Thank you kind soul.