if I’m not sitting in pretty lingerie with a glass of champagne in a foreign place in the next 5 years I’ve failed

WHY WOULD THEY CUT THIS?????

This is legiterally the funniest thing snl has done in decades

also i got a tiny rubber baby for 95¢

my son

this little plastique l'enfants by the computer vexes and haunts me

Why do men always have to act like they gotta teach you shit… like?? I don’t know who fuckin asked you but it sure wasn’t me so keep your motivation speeches to yourself

every interaction with a man is a combination TED Talk, valedictorian speech, personal training session, and getting grounded by your dad 

people who ignore friendly street cats who walk up to them are going to hell 

I’m that kind of person who keeps letters and birthday cards, tickets from trains, parks or museums.

SICK!

Not to be dramatic but I’d die for them

The louder you are in the ER waiting room, the more the staff is convinced that you are not having an emergency.

I mean it. You’re getting the attention you think you want, all eyes on you. Except ours. “Isn’t there anything you can do?” Your fellow waiters ask us, concerned. Behind the triage window, you can’t hear our teeth grinding. You’re in pain, i understand that. This might even be the worst pain you’ve ever felt. But you’re probably not dying.

Dying isn’t loud. A patient having a heart attack does not scream and thrash and gasp for air. It’s a whisper, a tightness, with slow flexing fingers. A stroke happens in a fraction of an instant, and never makes any sound. More whispers, halves of sentences and muscles that don’t quite match up anymore, a puppet with a few of the strings cut. Alarmed and wandering eyes, maybe, but never yelling. Or the more common killers, infections that shut down organs or the pipes of blood that sever. Cardiac or respiratory failure. If a person can talk they are, in fact, breathing just fine.

Remember this, the next time you come to an emergency department. Remember this when you’re sitting in the waiting room, while a sleepy-looking person in a wheelchair is whisked away without a word.

I’ve been on both sides of the fence on this one. Working in the ER and being a patient. And the fact of the matter is no one can really tell how much pain you feel. One day I got brought into the ER in an ambulance with abdominal pain. I’m an EMT mind you, I hate going to the ER unless I have to. Felt like something from the Aliens movies was trying to get out of my stomach. Got assessed in triage and the pain passed. And then It came back with a vengence. Honest to God 10 out of 10. And I tried to be civil and ask the nurses if I could get moved back just so I could get something for the pain. I got the eye roll, the looks of disbelief, and told to wait. I tried walking away, my knees gave out and I landed on all fours. In the ER. And I screamed. It was the worst pain ever. They tried to put me back in a wheelchair. The movement made the pain worse. It wasn’t until the charge nurse said that I was making a scene that they took me back to an exam room. I sat there for 5 minutes waiting on my nurse. It got hard to breath. It took another 5 minutes for them to get me pain killers and an x-ray. My entire upper abdomen from my diaphragm to my belly button was full of air. My stomach had ruptured and was leaking into all of my abdomen. I was rushed to emergency abdominal surgery and was going into shock when I made it to the OR. 5 more minutes and I would have been dead. I tried to “suffer in silence and with dignity”. It almost got me killed. You don’t get to decide if people are in pain or not just by looking at them. You’re human. Not a CT scanner.

Reblog for this comment

I rear ended a car at 16 and slammed on breaks & ended up shattering EVERY bone in my right foot & snapping my ankle in half. Later, the specialists said it was the worst foot break they have ever seen. When the ambulance dropped me off at the hospital, strapped to a stretcher, they wheeled me into the break room and left me there for 30 minutes.

They left a child in the nurses break room for 30 minutes with no explanation. Just wheeled me in there and left me crying my eyes out surrounded by people playing angry birds on their phones.

When I finally saw a nurse she gave me TYLENOL and told me to go home with my mom because my foot was “a little swollen”. They wrapped it in gauze. They were mad because I was making so much noise but my foot literally felt like it was on fire.

YOU CANNOT DECIDE HOW MUCH PAIN SOMEONE IS IN!!!!

Seriously, it’s shitty shitty shitty attitudes like OP’s that make me terrified of ever having to go to the ER.

Y'all have a hard job, I know and appreciate that, but y'all can also be jaded, heartless sons of bitches and it’s seriously ill and suffering patients who pick up the tab on that.

i have lifelong psychological trauma from being left waiting four hours with unbearable abdominal pain when i was eleven or so.

four hours.

someone prodded at my stomach and decided that since the pain wasn’t in the right place to be a ruptured appendix, it was just gas. after that, the only nurses who even came near me only came to tell me to be quiet.

my parents begged for someone, anyone, to listen – he never cries, they said, he never whines, i’ve never heard him make this noise before, something is really really wrong! this kid fell out of a tree and broke his collarbone and got up laughing! when he stepped on broken glass he just said ‘uh i guess you better fetch a towel’! jesse does not scream, please someone at least try to find out what’s wrong, isn’t this a hospital?

all anyone said was, kids make such a fuss. stop being dramatic.

meanwhile, i was entering an altered state from the unrelenting pain, hallucinating and giggling through my sobs, having mini blackouts. i bit clean through a paperback book before someone finally came around to take me to x-ray “though i’m sure we won’t find anything.” the x-ray technician snapped “you don’t need that” and snatched my teddy bear, tossing it on a counter, where it would’ve been left behind if my mother hadn’t noticed me coming out of the room without it (they didn’t let her come in with me) and gone charging in to get it.

more waiting, because x-rays took time to develop back then. more contempt and cold shoulders, and me wondering if i could maybe walk just enough to get out to the highway and dive in front of a semi, because hell cannot be any worse than this.

and then suddenly, here’s a doctor who is in a huge hurry and we are going to give me a great big enema right fucking now because the x-ray found a bowel obstruction as hard as stone and my intestines are going to rupture any second! hurry hurry, don’t you know how high the fatality rate is for sepsis from a ruptured bowel? terrified eleven year old, dehydrated and seeing double and too weak to stand, gets what feels like a garden hose full of lava shoved up his butt, and then they point me at a toilet and leave me there.

result: child on the floor, erupting from both ends. nurse’s reaction: anger and disgust.

pretty much everything from the x-ray on, i remember as if i was watching myself on tv. by the time they left me in the bathroom i wasn’t crying anymore. i was just sort of… nearby, while things happened to my body. i wondered if my bowel was still in danger of rupturing, but i couldn’t find it in me to care.

i was finally quiet.

maybe at that point OP would’ve condescended to notice me.

Folk wisdom about who needs the real help works and sounds good ninety percent of the time but when psychiatric pts die on the floor in your waiting rooms from a fatal case of non standard presentation complicated by acute jaded power trip it’s still malpractice

Ps head injuries for sure never cause a person to be altered and act like nothing serious is going on

op, it’s attitudes like yours in the world of medicine that need changing, not how our patients “should” present when they come to us for help. 

OP is heartless.

People’s pain tolerances are different. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity.

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/10/emergency-room-wait-times-sexism/410515/

That article is specific to how female pain is minimized (usually as hysteria). It’s even worse if you’re a WOC.

Look at what happened to Serena Williams. Greatest tennis player of all time, nearly dies in childbirth because doctors don’t want to listen to her that something is not right. Probably the only reason she is alive is because she is who she is.

There are some people who are in such chronic habitual pain that their reference point for pain doesn’t even make sense to someone not in their condition. Their resigned “I don’t know…five?” Could be someone else’s screaming 10.

Also thinking of my SIL’s father who frankly was killed by malpractice. Poor man was in screaming pain when they ignored protocol to change his catheter and they said he was faking it. He went septic because they fucked it up.

Reading the stories on this post is horrifically sad. Shame on the original poster. SHAME. Get a different fucking job.

If you go to the ER, cry and scream as loud as you need to. If anything, it might make the staff like OP see to you faster just to get you to shut up.

The only reason I didn’t permanently lose my sight is because I made a scene.

Imagine little 15 years old me, who never needed glasses or had any type of problem with their sight, suddently starting to get random headaches, pain behind their right eye, and see blurry. I went to the ER the first time when I could hardly see from said eye, and after two hours a nurse sent me back home saying that it was “just stress” and to “sleep it off”.

A week later my parents rushed me to the ER because the pain was so unbearable that I had bursted out crying during class. They explained the situation to a nurse and guess what? I was left waiting for another two hours.

I had no idea what was happening. I felt like my head was exploding, and at that point I could only see white from my right eye. After those two hours, which I spent sitting quietly with tears running down my face because the nurse had told me not to disturb the other people waiting, I noticed that my vision was going completely white.

And I freaked out.

I started wailing, sobbing my eyes out and screaming “I can’t see! I CAN’T SEE!!” while pressing the heels of both hands against my eyes because that was the only thing that made the pressure behind them more bearable.

That seemed to catch the nurses’ attention: a 15 years old kid in full blown panic attack screaming bloody murder because they had gone completely blind.

After that I was visited pretty quickly, and ended up spending almost a month in the neurology department because the optic nerve of my right eye had completely shut down. The doctor that followed me was horrified when she found out that I had spent a week walking around while my eye was in that condition. Had I been hospitalized a week before a lot of problems could have been prevented.

End result? I managed to get my vision back (though they never figured out what exactly caused the loss), but my optic nerve is permanently damaged and the tiniest stress makes my vision go blurry. I also have problems with my color perception and still get random pain.

So yes, cry and scream as loud as you need to. Force them to notice you.

Potent minimalist art sends a strong message about police and vigilante brutality in America

why doesnt google understand what i want

do you ever see a photograph of someone really attractive from like the 1800s and you suddenly get pissed because they’ve been dead for like 200 years and you probably don’t have a chance with them

“probably”

nosdrinker:

Am I hallucinating what is this post

roomsona

what would you look like as a room? you can draw it or write it out.

it can be any room. bedroom, ballroom, closet, mausoleum, nuclear diffusion chamber. it just has to represent you as a person.

i had a very long moment with this gorgeous family of bearded tooth fungi. 

The Cincinnati Enquirer, Ohio, January 15, 1928

It’s kinda fucked up how many antisemitic things just become like.  Fun memes on Tumblr.

Like y’all know “lizard person” doesn’t mean a literal lizard person right?  Y’all know that’s just coding for “Jews that control the world” right???

It doesn’t?

Dammit, conspiracy theories just got way less entertaining.

Well, I don’t disbelieve OP that people use it in an anti-semitic way, but the creator of the reptilian theory does describe them as literal shapeshifting lizard people from another planet and quotes the Hebrew Bible as “evidence”. So he, at least, doesn’t seem to be using it as code for anything other than “I’m a wacko.”

Yeah he also believes that The Protocols of Zion is real and the holocaust didn’t happen so

like Honestly y’all, why do people always try to “nuh-uh” shit like this?

here’s an example. an excerpt of a book about a “reptilian race” in ancient egypt:

the SAME AUTHOR also wrote this book:

it is LITERALLY a smokescreen code for antisemitic perceptions of “jews”. You might ask, “but neither of those use the word ‘jews’ ?” WELL that’s exactly why they don’t just use that word: plausible deniability. NOW they can talk about their antisemitic bullshit and make plans against jews and nobody believes it when anyone tries to raise the alarm