.999 Fine

South Carolina followers: free green beans on I-95!

I just want to be insatiably lusted after. Is that too much to ask?

Alaska trip 12

My brother's girlfriend had HPV, so he went to get himself the HPV vaccine. There is a fee to pay (nothing much, something like €87) but it's completely free if you're in one of the "at risk" groups.

"What does that mean," he asks. "It's free if you're gay," he's told. "Ah. Would I have to like, prove it, or...?" "Just put in a check mark here."

My brother is in no way, shape or form attracted to men, but also he's stingy as it gets. So now he's officially gay. Congrats bro.

"Doctor, give it to me straight" "You sure, there's a fee" "… Give it to me gay"

AGAB (Assigned Gay At Billing)

Fascinated by the fact that his first question was about if he'd have to prove it. I wanna know how far that man would go to save less than a dollar

Sorry, do you think 87 euros is less than a dollar

gold in them tags by @wizardworms

Blue-winged Kookaburra (Dacelo leachii), family Alcedinidae, northern Australia

photograph by Stephen Reid Photography

I'm officially retiring the cringe about bear face. It's cute and we all know it. FAT HAIRY BEAR MEN... Do that little smirk. Do it. That's an order

We’re winning.

I found his bio on societyofpresidentialdescendants.org and it was so delightful I had to copy paste the whole thing:

“Ulysses Grant Dietz grew up in Syracuse, New York, where his Leave it to Beaver life was enlivened by his fascination with vampires, from Bela Lugosi to Barnabas Collins. He studied French at Yale (BA, 1977), and was trained to be a museum curator in the University of Delaware’s Winterthur Program in American Material Culture (MA, 1980). A decorative arts curator at the Newark Museum for thirty-seven years before he retired, Ulysses has never stopped writing for the sheer pleasure of it. Aside from books on Victorian furniture, art pottery, studio ceramics, jewelry, and the White House, Ulysses created the character of Desmond Beckwith in 1988 as his personal response to Anne Rice’s landmark novels. Alyson Books released his first novel, Desmond, in 1998. Vampire in Suburbia, the sequel, appeared in 2012. His most recent novel, Cliffhanger, was released by JMS Books in December 2020.

“Ulysses lives in suburban New Jersey with his husband of 45 years. They have two grown children, adopted in 1996.

“Ulysses is a great-great grandson of Ulysses S. Grant. His late mother, Julia, was the President’s last living great-grandchild; youngest daughter of Ulysses S. Grant III, and granddaughter of the president’s eldest son, Frederick. Every year on April 27 he gives a speech at Grant’s Tomb in New York City. He is also on the board of the U.S. Grant Presidential Library and Museum at Mississippi State University.”

And frankly, the novels sound like they slap:

Desmond was nominated for a Lambda Award.

“With his husband of 45 years.” You kids don’t know ... they got together before AIDS, at the peak of the Gay Glam Life. They stayed together as their generation died around them, and made through it to the point where they could marry and have a legal family. He looks like a chipper preppie who never had a serious thought or care in the world, but it took *incredible* determination, commitment, and also luck to get here.

I love watching Star Trek plots and imagining how other star trek crews would deal with this week's negative space wedgie.

Like I watched the TNG episode where Beverly Crusher keeps witnessing the crew vanishing from existence and people's memory, until it's just her and Picard, and Picard insists that the enterprises has always only been crewed by himself and his doctor.

And I can't help but think Quark would have a simply awful time if his customers and the DP9 crew kept vanishing from history until it's just him and Odo. I need to see Odo tell Quark with an utterly straight face that Odo works a full time job to police Quark and only Quark alone on an entire space station - and Quark being unable to refute that as something Odo would plausably do.

office mug

Blue Viper

me as a mom

i feel like it needs to be said that this is a quote from carly rae jepsen

"they/them pussy" "girl dick" "boy pussy"

guys can we people start referring to cis genitals like this too? how funny would it be to go "that girl pussy tho" "I love boy dick" or even

that she/her pussy

that he/him dick

is this funny or am I just being silly, wacky even

here’s a riddle for the ages, thank you Google bard:

you ever notice how covid cases have spiked since the cock destroyers split up? can’t be a coincidence 

since the what

come here and sit down right now

Oh i’ve seen this before witch you wont get me

A young American alligator (Alligator mississippiensis) rides on the back of its mother in Brazos Bend State Park, Texas, USA

by Rick Dunlap

The realest thing Wendy Williams ever said was that she likes an “adult style” pizza where it’s made in a wood fired oven w a little basil on top

the thing with edibles is if you only eat half the two halves are gonna know theyre separated. and theyre gonna to know that they arent meant to exist in that state of separation and they will yearn for reunification. so the edible half in your stomach will be calling out to the uneaten half, forcing you to eventually succumb and eat the other half so they may be reunited. many such cases

this too is yuri

orchid mantis (hymenopus coronatus) | source