Thoughts.

Take👏🏻care👏🏻of👏🏻yourself👏🏻like👏🏻you👏🏻 would👏🏻take👏🏻care👏🏻of👏🏻someone👏🏻you👏🏻love!!

isn’t it cute when you can hear the smile in someone’s voice ?

I love my friends I love my friends they deserve the world and everything I hope that both sides of their pillow are the desired temperature I hope a meal they eat next makes them feel happy. I hope they get to see their favorite movie or play their favorite video game. I hope they are filled with happiness and joy.

The amount of creativity I possess when I have absolutely no time to do anything with it is astounding.

The lack of creativity when I have nothing going on is disappointing

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

sometimes it’s just nice to receive the same energy you put out

all around the world there are cats sleeping so happily with their owners

all around the world cats are being pet so gently. did you know?

Spam my phone w selfies n cute shit

Not many people talk about how deep emotional neglect hurts you.

I’m afraid to want things. I’m afraid to ask for help. I’m afraid to tell someone something if they seem in a bad mood. I can’t process when someone is nice to me. I can’t handle rejection, but my brain literally short circuits if someone gives me a compliment to the point where sometimes the rejection is better.

There are lots of overlap with emotional abuse, but emotional neglect hurts just as much. And it’s even worse that it usually goes undetected, so a lot of people can’t tell they’re being neglected until it’s too late.

anyone wanna become best friends and care for each other and talk all the time and have fun and be less lonely together

have you ever looked at someone and hope they stay in your life forever

being known is being loved

"i know your pizza order" "you have freckles on your ears" "you make this face when you're tired" "you order green tea on a good day black on a bad day" "you always make that face before you try something" "the tips of your ears turn red when you're angry" "i knew you'd say something" "you must be exhausted to miss the class" "your favorite pie is pumpkin, right?" "i know your phone number, don't worry" "you miss me, i can tell" "you fiddle with your pens when you're bored" "you don't like converse unless they're high tops" "your favorite cereal is cinnamon toast crunch and you first ate it when you were 8"

being known is being loved.

I wanna be someone’s comfort person. their go to. their favorite. the person they wanna grow with and heal with. 

You're worth having around. You're worth committing to. You're worth appreciating. You're worth loving.

*cares about people from the internet*

I don't seem to know how to like, just be a fucking person?

do you ever sabotage your own free time? like wtf is that about? i want to play this game or read or do something specific but instead i will just stare out the window or scroll mindlessly???

if i was a little kitty and you were a little kitty would you touch noses with me to say hi

rb to touch prevs kitty nose to say hi

I see you spam liking my posts love you babe