>:3

Came Back Wrong from the gocey store

forgot something

my oanges

it's important to me that people know the original "he would not fucking say that" was in response to a tiktok where someone said eric cartman would thank you for asking for his pronouns. Like it just doesn't hit the same without context.

everytime someone uses "he would not fucking say that" for something he would absolutely fucking say given slightly different circumstances or has already fucking said i immediately become indignant cause you can't waste a joke like this on mild characterisation nitpicks. sorry. it has to be on par with Any Pronouns Cartman.

I don't trust anyone who hasn't acknowledged their capacity for evil.

"I'm just a smol bean uwu" No sir, what you are is someone who is so habituated to thinking of yourself as innocent that you will continue to do so even when you're guilty.

To quote Chris Fleming

"You know that thing where the most toxic person you've ever met over-relates to woodland creatures on social media? I call it Vibe Dysphoria. She'll put up a picture of a mouse in a jean jacket with 'It's me.' That is not you. I don't know how you got under the impression that you are a mouse in a jean jacket. You are an eel with a gun.She posts a toad with a basket of mushrooms like 'Me doing my little things.' Oh madam, there is nothing little about your things. You gave me psychosexual issues I'll carry to my watery grave. You are not a toad in the forest...You are a cruel woman who just happens to be small."--Chris Fleming

Can't decide whether it's funnier to say "my hungry ass could never work at a" and then say something that implies you're eating something truly grotesque or something that just, makes no sense

"my hungry ass could never be a brain surgeon" awful. 10/10

"my hungry ass could never be a truck driver" ????? 10/10

EATYIGNIN TIJOK;L'HE????

🦇 carmilla-did-nothing-wrong Follow

just because images of crucifixes cant physically harm us doesnt mean they arent still triggering, tag your crucifix pix j*sus chr*st

     silverstaked-deactivated2023100

oh? little bloodsuckers afraid of a tiny cross?

🦇 carmilla-did-nothing-wrong Follow

literally what the fuck is your problem?

⚰ fangs4fags Follow

of course its a fucking hunter

🧛‍♀️ cadaverouscathy Follow

Why are there still hunters on this site?? @staff

☠ skellingtom Follow

silverstaked has literally sent my friend exorcisms before. nothing strong enough to send them back to hell but theyve been weakened for days because of it. block and report.

🐺 howlin4u Follow

adding these tags from @vamplovingwolf theyre targeting werewolves too i guess

👻 tombfoolery Follow

we did it ghouls

mysterious pink haired girl I'm playing games with at a friend's birthday party: I thought you'd be better at this when they hyped you up as such a good player. I'm not losing by that much

me, trying to find out what button combination leads to me licking her face in their bathroom: I'm not using my full power because I'm still analyzing your movements. you know, like Goku

i don't think you guys know what a sweep is

it's a sweep as long as i vote for it

i love that spy x family keeps reinforcing that anya would be unstoppable were it not for the crushing burden that is being 4 years old

I’m learning about worms.

Please, share with the class

theyre wet and long and capable of incredible feats of power beauty and courage

the dusky nembrotha (nembrotha kabaryana) | source

A sword, shield, and Odin’s Ravens.

i cant even imagine where id be without "thats a really mean way to think about me, i wish you wouldnt think that i dont know what im doing when i love you." and "people want to be useful, trying to do everything yourself makes the people around you think that you dont trust them or that you think theyre incapable" and "people are made to be burdens. we are made to carry each other and not leave anyone behind." and "its rotten work / not to me. not if its you."

learning that people want you in their lives is a skill you can develop if it does not come naturally

it feels fake but your friends miss you sometimes

the reason you've been hanging out with your closest friends fairly regularly for the past 12+ years is because you have fun together

people who don't like you that much will not stay in your life for over a decade asking to hang out and inviting you to things and texting you

🏴‍☠️ white-beard Follow

Can we stop all normalising the use of "sc*rvy" as a fun little thing to call people?? I literally had sc*rvy last year and it was even worse than when I got my hand cut off. Fuck anyone who uses the S word without even considering how triggering it can be to those of us who have ACTUALLY suffered though it

🌅 castedaway Follow

No wenches?

🏴‍☠️ white-beard Follow

Honestly you people are so insufferable I genuinely hope you walk the plank

🌅 castedaway Follow

AHOY???

🍑 plundermebooty Follow

Okay but OP is literally a landlubber, mateys

🌴 pegmeg

nahhh why is it literally always landlubbers faking scurvy and sending plank threats ☠☠

768 notes

🗡wagscallion Follow

everyone says "land ho!" but never "land ma'am"

💨 matelotsaboteur

Really makes you think

2,041 notes

💃 crossdressing101 Follow

this whole crew was so gullible ngl, i just cut my hair and dressed in my fathers clothes and they all fell for it, hook line and sinker??

💃 crossdressing101 Follow

honestly im surprised no one has found me out yet. surely i dont seem that much like a man? i mean it makes this way easier but like. im still a woman. obviously

🕺 crossdressing101 Follow

mateys i have come to a shocking realisation,

34 notes

⛵ privatesteer Follow

wildest argument for piracy i've ever heard was that the gold stored on government ships is dangerous cause it weighs them down, so they're just 'lightening the load'

🧜‍♀️ kiss-pretty-ocean324 Follow

աaռռa ʟɨֆȶɛռ ȶօ ֆɨʀɛռ ֆօռɢ?

⛵ privatesteer Follow

no thanks

🕶 monstermaterdeactivated16520210

outta my way gayboy im boutta get it

🕶 monstermaterdeactivated16520210

i have drowned at sea

36,251 notes

⚓ shiveringtimbers Follow

14,811 notes

🌏 boat-enthusiast Follow

i am SO sick of the term "ship-shape" like, matey, which shape?? Ships come in so many fucking shapes like have non of you ever boarded more than one vessel in your career???? Anyway fake ship fans DNI with this post i can NOT be bothered with your tomfuckery today

💦 longjohngolder Follow

girl its not that deep ☠

🌏 boat-enthusiast Follow

to YOU. i just get it

1,147 notes

🙍‍♂️ dudeindistress Follow

honestly being held for ransom isnt that bad. kinda nice to be held

4,733 notes

🦜 pollypockets Follow

SQUAWK

🐦 aviated Follow

CAW SQUAWK SQUAWK

🦜 pollypockets Follow

CA-CAW

790 notes

🍑 plundermebooty Follow

the cabin boy just winked at me?? after offering to help clean my gun? privately. in my quarters. tonight.

🍑 plundermebooty Follow

i think i hauve scurvy

142 notes

🌊 swabmydick Follow

mateys I SWEARR my captain and his first mate are gonna kiss before our next voyage. they literally have so much romantic tension every time i see them its nauseating

🕶 longjohngolderdeactivated16511205

wtf its so problematic and harmful to ship real people?? unfollowing rn i thought you were better than this

🌊 swabmydick Follow

i literally rob and kill people for a living?????? that's where you draw the line???

🌴 pegmeg

op killed them

🌊 swabmydick Follow

even better news mateys, they kissed ☠☠☠

96,538 notes

genuinely one of the worst things that’s happened to television in the last few years (exacerbated by streaming services) is death of Filler. going from 20 episodes to 8 because “we didn’t really need that episode where the main characters went to the beach right? it had no long lasting effect” but we DID!!! we needed to see how they act without the Big Bad Plot and to establish the dynamics between the characters and lay in the sun (do they forget sunscreen? how do they react to a thieving seagull? do they get buried in the sand or do they do the burying?). the plot isn’t everything. the action doesn’t hit as hard without the quiet moments. give us character development and our little scenes back

“Why did you follow this person ? uwu”

I’ve been here for fourteen years, do you think I remember? I don’t know who any of these people are anymore. I don’t know why they’re on my dash. I allow them to stay because they haven’t pissed me off enough to unfollow them yet. “Why did you follow this person?” I’m not sure I ever did. They’re just part of my ecosystem now.