Dark apparition by The Phantom Painter.

they are going this drink after me when i die

the horsepussy

#preserve history#reblog the screenshot#share the truth with the youth

Guess I just won’t understand things for a while and I’ll have to be okay with that

i hate nerves and anxiety. oh nooo i am scared of acting like a weird bitch to remedy this i will act like a weird bitch

one of the funniest images uploaded in the last 10 years

My cup containing the two leatherleaf slugs I found back in June is suddenly filled with baby glublings!

Here is a quick illustration of the mother (?) leatherleaf surveying a smattering of tiny beans.

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern.

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony

- Jill Thomas Doyle

A zeugma walked into a bar, my life and trouble.

the spn drama could take a whole year to explain in the least so i’m good

Controversial take but if you wrote a novel about two women falling in love and you changed one of them into a man you would have the most enormous smash hit of a romance book on your hands

Maybe because I met like 15 butch lesbians who are the real life equivalent of the ideal male romance lead and I have yet to meet a man who fits the archetype.

Ladies do you want a man who reads you classical novels when you can’t sleep? Bakes cakes, knits sweaters and is able to remodel your bathroom? Good with animals, kids and has a career they’re passionate about? Handsome but not vain? Sweet, sensitive but charmingly rough around the edges? A good conversationalist? Well that’s not a man, that’s my friend Jennifer

it is so wild to me the fashions that are called “emo” today. especially given the fact that probably 80-90% of it is actually scene, not emo. this would have started full on wars 15 years ago

whenever people call this

emo it drives me BANANAS. no! this is not how emos did their hair. this was a scene look!!! some people might have gone from emo to scene depending on their age when new trends happened but they’re DISTINCT

this is getting more popular so i want to clarify, the above are obv scene queens and were what all scene kids aspired to HOWEVER. all of this⤵️? absolutely would have been considered scene in the late 00s (all photos from searching “emo” on pinterest)

whereas these are more emo⤵️

you will note that the scene kids wear brighter pops of color, especially neon pink and green. there’s a lot of pop culture references, patterns and texture. miniskirts very popular, the more layered the better. the emo kids are more simple, the black skinny jeans are a staple obv and usually dark hair and a band shirt, maybe some stripes but not anything crazier than that in terms of patterns. maybe a few accessories, but not so many that you hear them coming from a few miles away.

now THESE three are more in the middle. personally, i would categorize the first as scene, and the #1 giveaway there is the domo necklace- a scene icon- and the multitude/stacking of accessories backs it up. the middle is harder- the front of the hair and band shirt suggest emo, but the pink, layering, and the hair bow are decidedly scene. i think you could probably call it either way but i would lean scene. the last one is also hard- the hair highlights and amount of accessories are more scene, but the color scheme, especially the silver and black for the accessories as opposed to patterns, make me lean emo.

(source: i was in middle school in 2008)

Source: @zagreus

this post is already on tumblr, why repost it?

You must be new here.

I've been here for a decade and my puzzlement over this kind of behavior remains evergreen

I admire the restraint not to point out you literally wrote the post that was screencapped.

I love it when my culture is mocked properly.

Happy 30th anniversary of Hellboy being banned for life from the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell

So the shower perch fell off the wall today and Mia got a bit more water than she bargained for

Mia would like the internet to know that she is now warm and dry

Holy shit these comments made me see red. You just know NONE of these men ever came close to an astro degree because if they did, they would be bringing it up constantly. But somehow they feel more qualified than a graduate with a stellar resume, for the laughably stupid reason that they have a dick and she doesn't. Sexism is alive and well

Han is a nerd but he's Seungmin's nerd<3