This Pun For Hire

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How wikipedia browsing actually works

This is just what being ADHD is like

Ground crew service a P-39F on Adak, Alaska

Help???

I'm moderately face-blind, scatterbrained, autistic, and very gullible, which as I work towards my goal of becoming a private investigator I am finding is rather advantageous cause by the time I've collected enough solid evidence to believe my own findings, I coincidentally *also* have enough evidence to convince a jury

I'm willing to act as though everything is true until someone fucks up and the more I do this the more I find that everyone who lies fucks up

Oh shit I'm becoming Columbo

sidney freedman is the most relatable character in mash cos i too am like "hmmm. mentally i am not doing great! time to see what the funky little disasters are up to at the 4077th."

what drugs were they on when they made this

Cab Calloway rotascoped!

Whoever thought of this was drinking absinthe

Thanks, Now I have nightmares

this was long before cartoons were ever thought of as ‘for kids’, the target audience of this one was roughly 20-40 betty boop cartoons featuring cab calloway singing, yes, but slang has changed so much you dont realize he was singing about opium, sugar daddies, death, weed, sex, booze, and gambling back when gambling was nearly as tabboo as sex and drugs. ‘minnie the moocher’ where cab calloway is a dancing walrus is specifically about someone who does literally everything on that list but die

most of the animation studios had their ‘thing’ to make their animation stand out, disney had fluid motion linked with quality music, warner brothers had top notch dialogue with carefully crafted facial expressions, MGM had comedic timing down to the individual frame that no live action comedian could dream of achieving, terrytoons had the budget of a ham sandwitch and a fistfull of nickels fleischer studios however had authentic jazz and heavy toned subject matter, often crossing the line of what we think of as ‘cartoon violence’ into realistic

idk why this is making me so emotional???

I love this. I’ve always had a love for cartoons

Cab Calloway, he was a legend performer and entertainer, although he’s listed as a jazz singer he did much more with his voice, his singing style and delivery was very unique. Cab (with his band) was the first black artist to sell over a million copies of a single record and he paved the way for many artists to come. Happy Black History Month.

sorry to make this long post longer, but I feel like it needed some actual photos of Cab Calloway, who is, in fact, the greatest

im curious what's the first meme you remember seeing? mine was numa numa

wow some of yall are babies

the way ivan aivazovsky looks at the sea…i think…i think that’s what love looks like.

love is surrounding yourself with people who see you this clearly

Still the freakiest fact about him is that despite being as tall as a person or more, he banged out these beauties in a day or two at most (and smaller ones ina matter of hours). The longest he spent on a painting, at age 81, to make his largest ever painting, was TEN DAYS:

It is 2.9×4.3 meters large. That’s 9'4"×14'1" for people in other measurement systems. It’s HUGE. There are artists out there that spend years on paintings much smaller than this. He was not one of them.

He also didn’t only paint the sea, but he MOSTLY painted the sea. Very few people could draw light filtering through waves the way this guy did and apparently it was tied into his layering technique that allowed him to paint so goddamn fast.

He is obviously my most favorite painter ever.

!!!

One trap that All the Time Daydreamers, Sometimes Writers, fall into is this idea that writing is transcribing the daydream.

It’s not. The daydream is a fuzzy thing. There are gaps that you don’t need to fill in a daydream, because you already get the emotional point. A lot of it is emotion. And because it makes you feel like a complete story would, your brain is tricked into thinking that’s what you have.

Then you sit down to actually write the thing and you realize you’re trying to write a Space Opera without actually inventing any planets or space ships. You don’t even know if the characters start out on the same planet. If they’re on a planet at all. You didn’t bother to check.

Now you will vaguely reference this in first-second person in any writing guide you make up for the rest of time.

When you write, you’re building something. It’s not a pale imitation of what you have in your head- what you have in your head can’t exist on the outside. This is a whole new beast. It’s going to ultimately look different and this is a good thing.

Also the internal critic is dumb.

I’m not even trying to be nice to your writing specifically here. The internal critic is looking for a completed story and you don’t have one yet. So anything it has to say flat out does not apply.

This is so relatable that I’ve considered making this post many times.

The idea in your head is wonderful because it gives you all the emotions and ideas without pesky things like concrete details and logic getting in the way. Trying to write it down forces you to decide those things, which makes it a different story from the one that exists as a pure cloud of imagination. Story ideas can have multiple conflicting ideas happen at once–you just know the general gist and it doesn’t matter what order things happen in or which exact words are said. When you write it down, that cloud of possibilities collapses into a single reality–if Character says this line first, that means they can’t say it later; if they say Funny Line A, they can’t also say Funny Line B at that same spot in the conversation; if they go left that means they can’t also go right at that moment. Infinite possibility becomes reality, and those choice can be hard. And that’s not even getting into the fact that the moment you try to nail down a concrete timeline, issues like, “No one would react this way” or “That actually makes no sense” or “What is the mystery they’re trying to solve?” pop up and wreck the beautiful little thing in your imagination.

Any act of writing is an act of translation. You’re adapting it into a new medium. Which makes it not the thing in your head, but which does make it something you can share with your sadly non-telepathic audience. If you can figure out how to write it.

hello. i am dracula. do you have any blood for me.

oive got not one drop of blood to me name on account of selling it all for one shilling and a bowl of gruel terribly sorry mr dracula

dracula voice Thats just about the saddest thing i ever heard get said.

Reblog this fat happy boy for a good night sleep tonight

Nothing bad happens if you don’t! Just a cute good luck charm

He brings no harm, only good fortune and good dreams

Can't let British people have air conditioning because first they'd call it something twee like "the climate fixer" and then in 20 years they'll call it "the climb" or "the climmy"

French kids would call it "le climot", frustrating language officials who would prefer they call it "machine pour le contrôle du climat froide à l'interieure de l'édifice"

you can be peeling a boiled egg and think to yourself wow. that was so simple. and then you peel another one and it’s like being in the throes of war. shell everywhere. egg mangled. tears in your eyes. that’s how god keeps you humble

Good news! Someone thought the same and this is far from the only one.

You will imagine it in your mind: a lamb burger with fresh cucumber spears, served on two slices of thick rye toast, spread with tatziki.

You're all pawns in my game.

Amilcar CGSS 1926. - source Amazing Classic Cars

European Wildcat

Photographer: Vladimír Čech Jr.

Packard Deluxe Eight Convertible Coupe 1931. - source Amazing Classic Cars.