Free my man he did all of that but I need to fuck him nasty style
It is 1880s America, you are about to spawn as a Historically Significant White Guy. Choose a class:
TROUBLEMAKING FRONTIER PREACHER
- Special Power: Good Christian. Your vague adherence to American protestantism will ensure that law enforcement does not bother you whatsoever.
- Victory condition: Fuck enough of your followers wives to start an inbred theofascist micronation.
MANICALLY AMBITIOUS CON ARTIST
- Special Power: Basic Literacy. You're poor, but you know how to read. They'll never expect it. You may forge literally any document and it will be believed 100% of the time.
- Victory Condition: Steal enough money to fuck off to Latin America. A Spanish speaking nation might as well be the moon to your debtors.
EUROPEAN NOBLE FAILSON
- Special Power: Colonial Wealth. Your funny accent, foppish dress, and noble title, will make any American think you are totally good to buy it on credit.
- Victory Condition: Become the boytoy to the wife of some borderline-gangster politician and save up enough political capital to run for office and get addicted to opium.
DOOMED FRONTIER EXPLORER
- Special Power: How The Fuck Are You Alive. Your freakish diet of pork, whiskey, and maple syrup, makes you entirely immune to all physical injury and disease. Somehow.
- Victory Condition: You have one mission, and one mission only. You need to piss off some completely friendly natives. You need to piss them off so bad they leave your stupid ass to starve in a food forest they've been cultivating for literally thousands of years.
I ain't arguin with an older butch. whatever you say handsome
i think that humanity should abolish golf. criminalize golf, persecute golf players, censor golf on media.
(trying to cheer you up) theres actually several castes of losers even below you. you cant fathom their misery
i think everyone needs to adopt "i didnt say it was good, i said i liked it" into their vocabulary right now. it did me wonders
beepbeepbeepbeep-deactivated202
I saw an online tutorial about how to make masks from old clothes, so I cut up this old pair of shorts! I had to hand sew it, and it came out too small, but it's not bad for a first try! What do you think?
I luv it dude. Come on aboard.
wizardposting is just another way tumblr has changed my life for the better.
all the otherkins with their plumped up dicks or whatever he said
Animal Crossing villagers will say shit like “Hey, how much water do you think is underneath your fridge from all the ice cubes kicked under? My guess is AT LEAST half a 7-11 Big Gulp! Hey! Call me over on a hot day and I could get a straw and sip it up!”
A wizard that uses a rolling pin as her casting wand. Also she lives in 1930’s Brooklyn. And if you think you can steal the pie she placed on the window sill to cool, she will be casting some spells on your skull.