oncelerfucker69-deactivated2019
DIRECTOR: Hey Tom Hardy here is some weird shit we're gonna put on your face to hide your beautiful little kissy lips pretty boy mouth
TOM HARDY, ENTIRELY NOT LISTENING BECAUSE HE'S BUSY FORMULATING AN ACCENT NO HUMAN BEING ON EARTH HAS EVER FUCKING HAD: Sure boss
cover them up, slut
Oscar, inside a Moog Modular
id: photo of a black cat standing up from inside the front panel of a moog modular where one of the modules had been removed. end id
i’ve been saying it for years:
government considers you able to work if you can give anything more than 0%
employers consider you unhireable if you give anything less than 100%
you can improve literally any word by adding “girl” in front of it btw. girlscared. girlnormal. girlweird. girlsilly. etc. girl can be such a beautiful focal point of anyone’s vocabulary
the trick is though you can ALSO improve literally any word by adding girl behind it. scaredgirl. normalgirl. weirdgirl. sillygirl. girl can be such a beautiful focal point of ANYONES vocabulary
if you put girl on both sides of the word its yuri
I wish they'd put a girl on both sides of me
this meme came to me in a vision. I don’t know what it means I just saw this vibrant image in my mind very suddenly and had to create it. enjoy?
tiktoks-lost-n-found
I respect a doctor who has likely had to answer a lot of stupid questions about transition surgery and has just reached the end of his rope.
maybe its bc i live in a place where forestry is one of the dominant industries but like tree planting rly isnt good. like the majority of the time its done by forestry companies to “offset” what they’ve cut down, and they almost always just plant fir & spruce monocrops and then they prevent the rest of the forest from naturally regenerating by spraying glyphosate, because they want to kill off the hardwoods that grow back since softwoods are worth more to the pulp industry… anything a company does that is supposedly “green” never is.
daggers-drawn
They aren’t actually replanting the forest, they’re building lumber farms in the middle of it and trying to pass them off as the same thing to people who think a forest is just trees because they live in a world mediated by images and have never been in an actual forest long enough to be able to tell healthy diverse growth from a struggling monocrop.
so i bought another garf on ebay and i got a very kind message from the seller detailing when they're sending him and the protective packaging he'll be in
and the photo they added is sending me
HE IS HERE
HE IS OUT OF CONTAINMENT
HE IS BACK IN CONTAINMENT (BAKING SODA) BECAUSE HE SMELLS LIKE SMOKE :(
HAVING A RELAXING VINEGAR BATH :)
(I AM IN SENSORY HELL)
ah lads it's been a real sensory struggle with my sweet stinky garf, first cigarette smoke, now a very strong disinfectant smell 😔
we may have lost the battle
BUT WE DIDN'T LOSE THE FUCKING WAR SAY HELLO TO BIG GARF!
Garf shelf
Garf shelf 2: Apartment Boogaloo
not to make a long post even longer
but I got a cute little garf phone pin on Etsy awhile ago
And guess what
NOW I GOT THE REAL THING TOO SAY HELLO TO GARF PHONE!
Garf shelf 3: Yippee!
Garf shelf 4: You Bet Your Ass There's More
Garf shelf 5: He's Just a Little Guy!
simply dont monday
simply don’t tuesday
simply don’t wednesday
simply don’t thursday
The /gardening subreddit is actually full of hippie anti-plastic anti-lawn freaks (affectionate) and I find it enjoyable and I saw a nine-word horror story I thought tumblr would enjoy
The emotion in this photo
IF YOU NEED TO GET RID OF MINT, USE OTHER PLANTS IN THE MINT FAMILY!!!
Related plants like lavender, sage, and thyme are immune to mint’s phytotoxins and will crowd out the mint. Rosemary is my favorite mint-killer since it grows fast and wide (regular pruning helps it cover more area).
These plants are perennials, but they are likely to die after a season since mint can harbor root rot that will affect other Lamiaceae but not mint (or plants outside the family). Leave the plant waste to provide soil cover, the mint rhizomes may still be dormant (but will die out soon). The spring after your mint-killers die, you should get some colonizing vegetation. Once those plants fully take root, you’re good to plant whatever your heart desires in the soil!
IF YOU NEED TO GET
RID OF MINT, USE OTHER PLANTS
IN THE MINT FAMILY!!!
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
did you know red snapper can live for over 100 years…. whatre they DOING down there
I hope this doesn’t work the same way for centaurs.
Thanks! I hate it
Going fishing:
"I / Me / Myself" with every first beat removed
Ways to refluff Vicious Mockery
- You say something so utterly confusing the person takes psychic damage trying to figure out what the hell you're on about.
- Call your opponent on the phone, which as we all know does irreparable psychological damage
- A really scary story told really fast
- You say a meme so dank it shuts down the listener's heart, like a focus-group-ran zoomer remake of Monty Python.
- One of those needlessly mean songs they sing about people in disney movies.
- UWU YOUR FOES TO DEATH! NYAAAAAA!
- You say something so nice your enemy realizes they're the asshole here and does themselves psychic damage as an apology.
- Tell your opponent you love them and cause deadly levels of social awkwardness.
- Literally red-hot take about Steven Universe.
- Gerrymander your opponent's vital biological functions.
- Mumble something really quietly and when they come closer to hear it better you punch them in the face
- Just read out the last thing Elon Musk said.
- Ok, hear me out...Gun Mouth?
