dude i cannot fucking believe it. you MASTURBATED in my ROOM thats fucking disgusting

well man, i can explain, see what happened was-

no no no, i dont want to hear it. you masturbated in my room, and i saw all one hour and thirty minutes of it

what?

yeah, the police got a tape of you mastubating for that whole time and i watched the whole thing. i couldnt BELIEVE that my BEST FRIEND would masturbate in my room, so i double checked even! just to make sure that it really happened. you broke my TRUST man

w-wait,

in fact, i couldnt believe my own eyes. i told the police to watch it just to make sure, and we watched it AGAIN. they couldnt believe it either

dude what di

we had an argument about it, and were so unconvinced that we took it to top brass so they could perform a visual forensics on it. so for a fourth time,