don’t let fanfiction fool you into thinking that sex is real

remember at the rio olympics when they revealed how the olympics village is basically just a giant fuckfest and how they had to give out like hundred thousand condoms well i just checked and

I am sorry what

yeah olympians like to FUCK

I hope it was all very gay

proof the olympics is a greek invention

the greeks would be so proud

haters will see you parry an incoming attack and say you cant afford a sturdy shield

Why I Refuse To Support PETA

As most of you know, PETA (People for Ethical Treatment of Animals) produces lots of sexist, racist, fatphobic, and even ableist ads. Their ideologies match, unfortunately. They are incredibly unreasonable, too, and they effectively want to remove companion animals from human contact entirely.

Members of PETA have done the following to me.

Adding:

Their “Adoption” services are a complete lie. Do not bring an animal to a PETA facility or allow PETA volunteers or employees to take an animal. THEY WILL KILL IT. 

Their own documentation shows that they euthanize approximately 90 - 97% of all animals they take in, on a yearly basis. This includes everything from seriously injured/ill animals, to healthy puppies and kittens.

They support Breed Specific Legislation, and call for the mass extermination of all “Pit Bull-type dogs”.

if there is anyone out there who doesn’t know this - this is really important. PETA kills and terrorizes animals. They do so for their own propaganda and in turn, profit. There is nothing ethical about their treatment of animals let alone other human beings.

Their position is, supposedly, that animals are equal to humans and as such use really ableist, racist, and wildly inappropriate metaphors that undermine real human oppression and suffering. Often just for shock value. If they applied their principle, then they are basically saying that mentally ill or struggling and homeless humans should be put to death on mass.

In addition to all of the above, they also promote the idea that dairy products cause autism.

Plus, they harassed Steve Irwin’s family while they were grieving his death.  They’re pretty terrible.

The Humane Society of the United States and the SPCA are where it’s at, if you want broad, effective, and ethical animal rights organizations on a national scale, though you can be really effective seeking out your local no-kill shelter or wildlife refuge.

Some more sources

About why PETA

is awful

PETA is grooosss

Seriously fuck PETA

Reminder for the day to never, EVER support PETA.

Fuck peta now and forever

So important. I also support the SPCA, however, as someone who worked for an affiliate of HSUS I would caution you to look carefully at the policies they are working on before joining in. While the heart can be in the right place, they also err on the side of sensationalism and have a weakness for big media “victories” that don’t necessarily help in the long-term.

omfg the tears

found a new fucking favorite song right here

Evening made

2 seconds in and I reblogged.

its about time tumblr found this

Queen Hatshepsut of Ancient Egypt. She has a lovely smile for someone who’s been dead for thousands of years.

she wasn’t a queen. she was a pharaoh and wanted to be referred to as such. she even had her statues modeled after the male pharaoh’s statues to state her dominance and authority. she was actually one of the most successful pharaohs in all of ancient egyptian history and she reigned longer than any other woman in power in egypt.

damn no wonder she died and smiled for a trillion years afterwards

The fact that we know about her is marvelous.

the next Pharaoh after her Tuthmosis III  tried to erase Hatshepsut out of history ,chiseled her name off her monuments ,covered the text on her obelisks with stone,knocked down and defaced her statues .

she was even left off the list of pharaohs ..talk about some patriarchy bullshit

her name was lost for a couple of millennia, her body was found in a unmarked grave  in early twentieth century

sad part is in Egyptian belief is  if your are forgotten in the living world you don’t exist in the afterlife,so he was trying to kill her even in death 

My best friend throwing down some herstory. A+ commentary

She wore a fake beard, you guys. She was the fucking boss.

If we remember her now does that save her from an awful afterlife?

I’m just picturing the Kemetic afterlife. All the Pharaohs are hanging out in some kind of swanky club, drinking and congratulating each other on being bros. 

The doors slam open and Hatshepsut strides in, glorious, robes swirling, rocking the fake beard and the insane amounts of wealth and power. “Miss me, bitches?” 

Then she punches Tuthmosis III straight in the dick.

the face of a bird who fully understands what he did and will do it again.

WHAT DID HE ORDER???

OMFG HE ORDERED A WHOLE BUNCH OF STRAWBERRIES

https://youtu.be/IvnW89osj0g

berries.

berries.

berries.

@zaiqukaj Harpies tho

Lady: “Alexa, read my shopping list.”

Alexa: “You have 19 items on your shopping list. Here are the five most recent.  Poetry, strawberries, strawberries, strawberries, strawberries.”

*Lady laughs*   

Alexa: “Would you like to hear the next five items?”

Lady: *laughing* “Who ordered this strawberries? (yes please?)” Alexa: “You have 19 items on your shopping list, Here are the five most recent. *cuts*  - the next five items? Lady: “Yes please”

Alexa: “Strawberry yogurt, easy water, jeans, Harry, big tofu. Would you like to hear the next five items?”

Lady: *laughing high pitched* yes!

Alexa: “Big, big, red retreat, milk, berry. Do you want to hear the last four items?”

Lady: “Please yes” *wheezy laughter*

Alexa: “Apple, berry, berry, berries”

*Lady burst into laughter* “Ohh hoo”

A father’s love. (via Kieeraaa)

Hi there, I’m Rachel! Everyone keeps messaging me and asking me “what was your secret to losing weight?” so I decided to make this post. This is how I was able to lose 40 pounds in 2 months with almost no exercise or change in diet.

A few months ago, my friend who’s studying to becoming a dietician told me about a fruit from Southeast Asia called Garcinia Cambogia. The fruit increases your metabolism & helps slightly suppress your appetite so you don’t overeat. Despite feeling skeptical I decided to try it. I ordered a pure extract of the fruit online. Now I’m able to eat the same food, and burn more fat at the same time. This is what I do every morning: mix the supplement with lemon water + honey to jumpstart my metabolism for the day, then drink it once more before dinner. That’s it. I ate the same way as before, worked out once a week & my fat melted away like butter. The way I see it, if it worked for me.. it can work for anybody.

EDIT: people keep asking me where you can get the supplement. I got mine here, because you can get a free month supply for only $5 shipping with the coupon at the bottom!! I’ve spent more than that on a salad before 🤦🤦

Can someone from the science side of tumblr explain how this works

Garcinia cambogia is a small, tropical tree fruit shaped like a pumpkin. In the late 1960s, scientists discovered an acid in the fruit similar to citric acid in fruits like oranges and lemons. That acid, called hydroxycitric acid, or HCA, blocks the enzyme that converts sugars and starches into fat for long term storage. With this fruit you can literally eat more pasta and bread, and gain less weight.

SPREAD THIS LIKE WILDFIRE! Today is the last day you can get a free bottle

And, because of “my fat melted away,” all I’m thinking of is

WHAAAT i wanna try it tbh anyone have $5?

This is important hello (x)

Reblogging again for the fuckboy who ignored it the first time

THIS IS SO IMPORTANT

*slow clap for australia* shit mates. Wow.

fun fact: the producer for the Scooby-Doo movies is named Dick Suckle

he was born in 1969

dicksuckle69

My favorite part of FMA brotherhood is that before and after the commercial breaks they say “FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST” except since netflix doesn’t have commercial breaks it’s just “fullmetal alchemist FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST”

reblog if you think female rapists should get the same amount of jail time as male rapists

Reblog if you think male and female rapists should get some actual fucking jail time full stop.

my cat is licking himself loudly and wetly, somewhere in this pitch-black room, and it sounds like there’s an old man eating a bowl of chili in the dark with me

ASMR: the fish man from the shape of water savagely beats up pennywise while the mii channel song plays in the background

itd just be wet slaps and clown honks

And the mii channel song playing in the background

What if someone got bitten by a vampire, but didn’t realize it. So then they go around and keep misidentifying all the symptoms, like

“Dude, you haven’t gone outside in a while.” “Yeah, last time I went out I got this wicked sunburn.”

“Are you still up?” “Yeah, I started bing watching this show on Netflix.”

“Dude, I’m seriously craving something right now.” “Like what?” “I dunno. Pizza rolls?”

“Why is it that you never come into my house unless I invite you?” “Um, it’s called ‘being polite’…?”

“I tried cooking with garlic the other night and got this serious burn on my hand. I think I’m allergic, but all I’m getting on Google is vampire bullshit.”

“Dude can a mirror like… stop working or something?”

“Dude, why do you keep posting pictures of the floor?” “…Those are meant to be selfies, I guess my camera must be broken.”

“Dude, I am all for you expressing your religious beliefs, but could you not wear your crucifix when I’m around? It really bugs me for some reason.”

“Have you ever noticed how cute bats are? like really noticed? sweet lil balls of fluff with wings man.”

“I want to sleep in a coffin…ya kno, for like… aesthetic”

“What’s with your thing about necks lately?”

“MUST YOU KINKSHAME ME IN MY OWN HOME”

“I looked up my symptoms on WebMD, and it says I have cancer.”

ok straight up if i went to hogwarts and the stairs started moving just as i was getting to where i was going I’d just lie down on the stairs and give up. Not going back to my dorm tonight lads that’s where i live now. Stairs wanna fuck with me? Jokes on them I’ve already given up on life this is just another step further into my grave.

McGonagall finding you at 2am.