I've been on Tumblr for years, but my husband knows my main account so I started this side account.

I've seen Tumblr move mountains for people so I'm hoping and praying that you guys can move mountains for me.

I'm 26 years old. I've been with my husband since I was 16 and he was 20. I know now that he was attracted to me because I was young and manipulatable but at the time I was so flattered that an older college guy wanted to be in a relationship with me.

Looking back there were a lot of red flags. He didn't like any of my friends and he told me who I could hang out with and when. He told me that my school work wasn't important because I was going to be a stay-at-home wife after high school while he went out and earned a living. As teenager living in a household that was unstable and on the brink of collapse, the idea of having a strong man take care of me was very appealing and so I overlooked the red flags.

He liked to get me drunk. He'd take me to his shitty apartment and he would load me up with Mike's Hard Lemonade and Smirnoff Ice and then we'd fool around. I had a lot of pregnancy scares from 16-17 because he didn't like to wear a condom and when I was drinking it was harder for me to insist. When I was 18, I got on the pill at least. He was always pushing my boundaries in the bedroom. I'd say no to something and he'd give me the silent treatment until I let him do it. Or he'd just do it even though I said I didn't want to.

He graduated college the year I graduated high school, and we moved in together. From the beginning, he was controlling, keeping tabs on me and watching the bank account like a hawk, but I chalked it up to needing to be frugal. We were really poor, but he promised to take care of me.

Eventually, though, I had to get a job to make ends meet. He didn't like that. The first time he hit me was when I told him I'd been interviewing for jobs. It wouldn't be the last.

God, just. Ten years I let him tell me I was helpless without him, I was weak, and stupid, and only he would ever love me. I let him hit me. I let him separate me from my friends and family. I let him kick my cat.

But I'm done. I'm going to get me and Midnight out of here.

I have a PayPal set up that he doesn't know about. It's :

PayPal.me/iwillsaveher

Please help if you can. If I take money out of our joint account, he'll know, so right now I essentially have nothing. Donations will go towards boarding Midnight and getting a cell phone he doesn't know about, then I'll go from there. Please help. Please.

anyway blackout poetry not just as an art form, but as an act of violence against other works of art

taking a piece of text that someone probably put their heart and soul into creating and using it as your raw material, cutting out everything that you deem irrelevant to the point you want to make

i mean imagine cutting up a painting and using it to make a collage, or taking a marble sculpture and carving pieces out of it to make a different sculpture

just to be clear: i love blackout poetry, im not criticizing it here. i am just waxing poetic about it. i dont really know where im going with this i just have Thoughts about art being destructive

The absolute audacity of a system that continues to fail our children, but still tries to keep control over them. Suck my dick, disrespectfully.

My school says we aren’t allowed to be in our bed or wear pajamas during online school



The Black Footed cat is the smallest wild cat in Africa and one of the smallest wild cats in the world.

Here’s an adult kitty for size comparison:

too smoll

OK but you can’t mention my all-time favorite cat without also mentioning that these little motherfuckers are legendary for being 1000% ready to throw down with anyone at any time, they’ve literally been seen trying to fight a giraffe and are known to successfully bring down sheep by getting underneath them and ripping their bellies open like what the fuck, chill

Their name in Afrikaans means “anthill tiger” because they’ll hide inside a hollowed out anthill and then jump out and try to rip your face off

They are perfect and I love them

Aw, look at these little murder muffins.

smallest and deadliest wild cat. Observed at a 60% success rate in hunting, and averaging a kill every fifty minutes—a lion might succeed in hunting twenty, twenty-five percent of the time. Their small, energetic bodies require a rate of a-murder-per-hour in order to sustain their metabolisms.

(“miershoop” can also mean “termite mound”, which is one of their preferred places to sleep)

Wittle smol murder babies.

@kai-and-company it’s five but in cat form

…..babeys

the switch from ‘a girl worth fighting for’ to coming upon the decimated village in mulan is THE MOST kick-in-the-teeth mood change IN ALL OF CINEMA

That scene shift did more for our generation’s understanding of the horror of war in ten seconds than Game of Thrones did in eight seasons, and it did it without showing us a single dead body. 

OKAY BUT HOLD ON THOUGH.

I’ve spent the past… five? Let’s say five - the past five years analyzing the structure of Disney Musicals as part of the process to write my own/a parody of them, and the thing is that all the modern ones have roughly the same number of songs - except Mulan.

Mulan has about half, because after AGWFF ends with that unresolved final phrase, there are no more songs until the end credits, which isn’t even sung in-universe.

Mulan wasn’t even the REALM of fucking around - when they arrive at that village, when the true horrors of war are brought into the story, not only does it interrupt THAT song, it breaks the entire fucking mold - the movie’s damn genre changes; it is no longer a musical.

And the Huns represent this from the start - Jafar and Hades are notable for not having proper villain songs, but Jafar does get his Prince Ali refrain and Hades and his plan get sung ABOUT by the muses. No scene with the Huns has any singing, they are mentioned once in song (the second line of Man, natch), and they of all Disney Villains are probably the most serious - no jokes, no witty asides, no sassy delivery of dry humor. The Huns are an invading army who plan to straight up kill a fuckton of people, including children, and AGWFF’s sudden end is the moment when our happy go lucky MUSICAL protagonists finally come in contact with them and their work directly - and it breaks them. Because shit like the Huns cannot exist in happy go lucky musical world. They just exist in our world. The real world. And you can’t sing your problems away here.

The end of A Girl Worth Fighting For is a brilliant use of metanarrative sensibilities to convey a message. It is utterly perfect.

Daaaamn, Tony. That’s fucking deep, my guy

I didn’t spend two years and thousands of dollars on a Master’s Degree in literature to NOT over analyze every text I engage with.

It showed the horrors of war more effectively than a lot of media that loves to throw sexual assault and mass murder around like it’s a pigskin.

also i think i saw this on a different reblog chain, but someone pointed out that at the end of the song ‘A girl worth fighting for’ not only do they pan to the destruction of the village but they focus on a doll lying in the wreckage. And all through the song the soldiers are describing the ‘perfect’ girl to fight for, to explain why they’re fighting at all before stopping on the doll. 

The doll basically wipes all the previous lighthearted descriptions and fantasies of the soldiers away. Cause now they realise that this, this doll that probably belonged to a little girl, who likely died scared and in pain, is why they fight. The innocent children, the elderly, the mothers, all the people who were relying on them to protect them cause the Huns did not care who they killed. 

If you need to laugh childishly today, it has been 6969 days since the year 2000 ended.

i’m putting a date on this, 1/30/20 it’s fucking real

THIS IS THE BEST DAY YOU CAN REBLOG

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

NICE

NOICE 😩👌👌💯

ᑎOIᑕᗴ 😩👌👌🍆💯💯

Good boy doesn’t trust the ocean

(via)

I would die for them

i love that 17th century jewish poltergeist story where the family living in the haunted house calls a catholic priest for help before they contact a rabbi, because yeah, i think that would be my call too; id be like, oh? a demon in my house speaking latin and drawing inverted crosses on my wall in sulfuric bile? then without even questioning my faith i’d call up the catholic church and be like yo father, one of your boys loose come get him

Make a Vampire character who’s lived through several waves of the common language’s development and can’t let go if certain gramatical habbits from different time eras.

So like, thou ist a horrid creature, an absolute cur, but go off i guess

… can i use that phrase irl?

Absolutely you can and I encourage more uses of similar phrases that just completely fuck up the chronology of the english langauge. I wanna hear 15th century english mixed with surfer speak mixed with current age internet lingo like all the time.

Like this? Well my dude, seems like a weasel hath not such a deal of splean as you’re toss’d with. Chill already, you’re not valid.

You are an unrighteous, bastardly gullion. Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell. When you die, I will face God and walk backwards into hell just so that I can beat your ass in the afterlife too.

I love the idea of a vampire who’s language travels back in time as they get pissed.

I grieve for thee in these trying times. Alexa play Despacito

Reading these is like literary whiplash

This whole post is gold, but the comment about the vampire’s dialect “devolving” into older and older periods when he’s angry stood out to me.

It’s a cinematic cliché for a person of any foreign nationality to revert to their native language when angry (I usually see it with Spanish-speaking characters), and my southern accent deepens as I get angrier.

It makes sense that an immortal character who saw the eras of his language change and evolve over time would speak more and more archaically as he got angrier.

Historical linguists decide to get especially ancient vampires pissed off in order to study ancient languages

are you telling me that if I get a 5000yo vampire angry enough I can directly test the glottalic theory?

*Pisses off a vampire so much that they teach me Minoan*

I’m always impressed with how much emotion Rick can put into such a short exchange.

Are you trapped on tumblr right now?

Is there something you planned to do before you got trapped in the endless tumblr scroll?

Are you yelling at yourself to get up and do the thing, but you can’t, because you’re trapped in the endless tumblr scroll?

Consider this your save point.

Put tumblr down, stand up, stretch, and go do the thing you planned to do. Future you will be incredibly grateful.

Things people in the notes have been able to do thanks to this post:

I need y’all to know that you’re doing amazing, and I’m so glad that I was able to help you break out of a procrastination loop you did not want to be stuck in.

is anyone else like....... exhausted? just way too tired? mentally and physically? and you look at other people your age who seem to be doing fine and you feel so dysfunctional and broken because normal adult tasks and responsibilities just feel way too overwhelming and you can’t cope and

Concept: a superhero team whose shared origin story is that they’re all exes of this angsty sadboy wizard type who has a penchant for inadvertently getting his significant others killed, cursed, or otherwise magically befuckened as collateral damage to his various misadventures (and who is definitely not a transparent John Constantine expy), and their uniting high-level mission statement is their shared desire to track this guy down and just comprehensively beat the shit out of him.

“And then he was like ‘I have to kill you for your own good’.”

“He didn’t!”

“He did. And the curse wasn’t even that bad – like, it looked nasty, but I’m pretty sure I could have pulled through. But no, apparently not being pretty anymore warrants a mercy killing.“

“That’s so typical of him.“

“And then he didn’t even do it right! I got better!”

“He’s such a fuckup.“

“I know, right? Like, if you’re going to be all ‘boo hoo, the cruel hand of fate has forced me to slay the love of my life’, the least you could do is follow through. Is it weird for me to be mad about that?“

“No, I get it. For anybody else it’d be a little weird to be mad at them for not murdering you properly, but for him, I get it.“

“So that’s my story. What about you?“

“Miscast fireball.“

#my angsty sadboy wizard exsona is the shy awkward magical apprentice who gets left behind in hell #(and comes back years later as a demon sorceress) (via @morkaischosen)

I’d read it.

2020 has been the wildest year and it's still January

i would like to add on to this because 

heres a fun throwback

I truly hate what this post has become

This is one of those things that make you heavily symphatize with time travelers and there always present question "do I tell them?" And the answer is "Definetely no"

do actors get boners while making sex scenes this is one of the things i’ve wondered my whole life

Idk if you actually care for the answer, but they have to put their dicks in little sleeves that attach to the leg so if they get a boner it just get held down.

that sounds like a garment that should be sold everywhere and considered polite if not mandatory to wear, like bras

Omg I can’t

As a guy I second this.

If I have to wear a titty sling because there might be an event where it becomes chilly and my nip noops become visible through my shirt, people who have a peenor should be expected to wear a peenor sling in case there is an event where a gentle breeze occurs and their peenor becomes erect.

I kind of feel like if we’re gonna do that we should go all-out and they should be IMPOSSIBLE to size, VERY expensive, flimsy, and made of uncomfortable, itchy materials.

And the little ones should have cute designs but the big ones only come in white,black, and tan

and there should be a company that sells them called Victor’s Secret, that has uncomfortably large, close-up photos of enormously-endowed male “angels” stuffed into their gorgeous little pouches spread all over every mall and TV channel, which changes societal expectations on penis size as a whole, so that men who don’t have incredibly large penises feel impossibly inadequate and feel compelled to make up for it by spending a fortune on overpriced penis pouches as a way of compensating.

Then Victor’s Secret should be sure not to actually carry any of these garments in the sizes that they advertise, so that only modestly-endowed men have the privilege of being seen in the shop, which is the type of place that simultaneously clamors for huge dicks, but refuses to cater to them in any way, leaving everyone involved vaguely uncomfortable and slightly ashamed.

This is legit one of the best posts I’ve ever found on tumblr.

They also must come with a terrible underwire that sometimes breaks or stabs them from time to time.

This is great.

KRSNND these TAGS

if this happened like 5 years ago people would be losing their shit, now it’s just like “oh yeah another thing”

California monument’s gone now

What the fuck even prompted that lmao

according to wikipedia it the youths viewed it as anti-christian, promoting illegal immigration and linked to the antifa movement

That random metal pillar? Yeah that’s antifa

Dame Archer kicks McDougal’s Scots ass there in the rain at the Washington Midsummer Renaissance Faire - August 11, 2018 - Photo by Douglas Herring

Oh NO.

me, a sheltered noblewoman: Pray who is that brave knight? Dame Archer:*turns around* me: gasp! *instantly in love*

Alicia Archer

my bi heart………

I’VE NEVER SEEN THE ADDED PICS

*dies*

Oh shit.

GAY KNIGHTS

why i so bi

ʰᵒˡʸ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ ᵗʰᵃᵗˢ ʰᵒᵗ

oh shoot just realised new followers might not know this so: fuck jk rowling. all my homies hate jk rowling

I can't get over that Perry could easily just humiliate him in front of the crowd, but instead, he help him

Also the fact that Perry can only control Doof's arms and legs. Doofenschmirtz freestyled the whole song.

It's a bop

And the song just goes from 0-get rid of the government in .2 seconds

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓰𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽’𝓼 𝓪 𝓹𝓵𝓪𝓽𝔂𝓹𝓾𝓼