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The World According to...

@theworldaccordingtotimmycap / theworldaccordingtotimmycap.tumblr.com

Oh the wondrous sites that await! Oh the fantastical things you’ll find inside. Would you join me if I whisked you away, from reality and into a joyous place? Would you embark across a sea of magic? Would you fly the skies of majesty? Would you believe tales of richs, gold, fancy cars, and diamond rings? Would you stay and not want to leave? Would you believe the stories, tall tales, folk-lore and novellas? Would you like the music, food, and cultural things? Would you stay up to watch the sun hang high? The moon sit down low? Would you color the sky with crayons? Would you love to see the World According to Me? Oh the wonders that await, the smiling faces, joyous laughter, brilliant minds. Come and find out what awaits, in the World According to Timmy Cap If you want to know me look in About me. And always, feel free to ask me anything or leave me a message, I will answer all as soon as I can. star gates opened
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theworldaccordingtotimmycap

A Great Unpleasantness

Tis a great unpleasantness to say goodbye

Tis a great unpleasantness to know you aren’t by my side

Tis a great unpleasantness the void you left

and tis a great unpleasantness to have to live.

Tis a great unpleasantness never to see you smile again

Tis a great unpleasantness never to hear you laugh again

Tis a great unpleasantness never to touch your hand again

Tis a great unpleasantness never to smell you again

Tis a great unpleasantness never to taste your lips again

Tis a great unpleasantness to keep going.

Tis a great unpleasantness to wake up everyday

Tis a great unpleasantness to come home every night

Tis a great unpleasantness to set a table for one

and tis a great unpleasantness that to wish I was dead.

A great unpleasantness is all of me that is left a great unpleasantness is all they will see a great unpleasantness is all that I know a great unpleasantness  a great unpleasantness a great unpleasantness

is  

#poem#poetry#mine#theworldaccordingtotimmycap#death
theworldaccordingtotimmycap
horseonthespaceship
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moveslikekeithrichards

the role of the person in the passenger seat is not only navigator but secretary as well. you have to type up the drivers messages to random ladies on facebook about cbd cream & google whether that billy joel song was the theme song for that show or not

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moveslikekeithrichards

you also have to provide a henchmans disdainful scowl at whoever the driver is flipping off in the target parking lot

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the-apocrypha

other assorted roles may include

  • retrieval team for objects in the backseat
  • custodian of the parking garage tickets
  • "All clear my way"
  • en-route dining concierge
  • announcing "Horses!" when there are horses
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whatrfrogs

Don't forget the Tommy Gun

theworldaccordingtotimmycap

fuck the USA

Pro-life yet fuck immigrants  Pro-life yet fuck single moms Pro-life yet fuck teen moms Pro-life yet  Anti-mask

“It’s my choice to wear a mask,” yet “How dare you choose that?” “I have the right to treat my body this way” yet “You can’t choose that.” “You’re a slut, a whore, a sinner, God will judge you.”

Fuck you

Just fuck you Pro-life If it was about life you’d support WIC and social programs If it was about life you’d make sure formula was stocked If it was about life you’d do more to protect kids from mass shooters

Pro-life yet Pro-gun “All life is scared” yet “kill the criminals  “All life is scared,” yet “It’s my goddamned right to own this semi-auto”

Don’t be fooled this is a war on the disenfranchised Unless you’re a Cis-gendered White Christian male they don’t give a fuck They waged a war on Black for years, by outlawing Weed and Black businesses They waged a war on Tan for years, by rounding them up at the boarder They waged a war on Red for years, by taking their land They waged a war on Yellow for years, by putting them in camps during WWII They waged a war on Brown for years, by closing Mosques and profiling And they waged a war on women by taking away their right to choose.

I have directly benefited from being born white I have directly benefited from being born male I was born on second base and I fucking hate it I hate that the “Beacon of Freedom and Liberty” is not free You can’t truly be free if you do not have your reproductive rights You can’t truly be free if you fear for your life everyday

Don’t be fooled, it’s a war against the poor No houses no living wages no cheap groceries no reliable public transit  no free healthcare no free childcare But all life is scared expect...

Black Tan Red Yellow Brown Woman Or Poor

Fuck You USA

#poetry
theworldaccordingtotimmycap
beautifuletdown2700
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lemon-embalmer

fantasy characters: “Geez”

me: who the fuck spread Christianity there

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lemon-embalmer

this two-years-old shitpost just gained a hundred notes who the snickerdoodles dug it up

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she-who-fights-and-writes

W H A T

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slumpyspaceprincess
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thewhisperingescapes
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mirkwoodest

In moments like this I always fall back on the fact that they also aren’t speaking English because they don’t have England or the many languages and conquering peoples that contributed to the creation of the English language and therefore the work musr be a translation into recognizable terms in our world’s terms. Call that Tolkien Brainrot.

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lurkerwithcomputer

It’s called “Translation Convention” but “Tolkien Brainrot” is funnier.

theworldaccordingtotimmycap
sparecake
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kalanchoeblossfeldiana

fun fact about me is that when i was a kid id write capital E’s with as many of those little horizontal lines as possible and id call them ladder E’s and adults fucking hated them

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kalanchoeblossfeldiana

artistic rendition

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ceekari

All capital letters should have a leveled-up form

So far I’ve got

  • ladder letters: A, E, F, H, T
  • humpback B’s and P’s get as many bumps as you think they need
  • circle O’s, you just keep spiraling in til you feel like you’ve made your point
  • tree letters branch into smaller versions of themselves ad nauseum: X, Y
  • spider Q’s, so many legs

Please add your own unsettling godtier capitals!

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catgirltoes

New alphabet dropped!

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ceekari

oh my god, it’s beautiful

(future handwritten notes are gonna be so wonderfully cursed now, thank you! :D )

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theshitpostcalligrapher

well it’s going to take some getting used to, @ceekari (don’t mind the redacted letter between T and U)

But I think i’ve taken a real shine to it! 

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modmad

recursive

So i may have done a thing in an insomnia fueled jaunt into insanity.

find an .otf of the font here

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idlnmclean

This is how new alphabets get invented.