tevye’s #1 fan

one of the perks of being a librarian: getting free front row tickets to see Colin Mochrie do improv with “””hypnotized””” volunteers I’m so happy I didn’t pay $100+ to see NYU freshmen try and fail at being funny next to the king of improv <3 #ColinMochrieFanClub4Life #NYUFreshmanH8R #HeTalkedToSevAndTookTheirSuggestionForASkit #SoProud (at Daryl Roth Theatre) https://www.instagram.com/p/CjathwbskQ5vPXQ73Ty-wpRuOmIizo0aZmZVkw0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

i think i might slowly migrate back to this blog soon.....the reasons i had for leaving this blog are no longer as compelling and i miss this space

hello friends, I will periodically reblog this post but the time has come for me to create a new blog. I’ve been wanting to post more often but no longer feel comfortable doing so on here as my blog - no matter what I change the name to - is easily findable via old posts with which I’ve interacted

so if you see this and feel like “yes, I must follow her”, then please send me a message and I’ll send over the new username. I will still check my messages on this blog and I won’t delete it - thank youuuu!

hellO this article just came out about the research my division has been assisting with!!! I’m the one who found the funeral article/burial information in the Forward so I indirectly made D*vid D*chovny cry, I’m gonna cry now too

obsessed with my boss who spent a whole half hour at my desk telling me about how, as a kid, she’d fall out of trees and break things and generally wreak havoc and that the whole time she “didn’t really feel any pain or fear”

and then minutes after this, she saw half of a home-cooked cake one of our patrons baked for us and she just picked it up, said “no food if it’s not individually wrapped”, and threw the whole thing out.

obsessed with her

I don’t know if what I want to say makes sense but I met another person on vrchat like last week and they’re so funny in terms of their texting style and how they carry themselves. like I’ve always had an issue where I find myself painfully uncool to be around because of my embarrassing allergy to alcohol, my complete intolerance of weed, and my inability to loosen up immediately. I sometimes speak like a stilted old man and I’m extremely aware of it and I hate it! I sometimes feel like people are laughing less so at my jokes and more just at Me being painfully Myself. And I don’t think I’m socially awkward necessarily, but just not very fun?

anyway, these past two weeks most of the people I found online are the types to speak with “:3” and “:p” and it feels strangely refreshing and wholesome because they are so themselves?? and another thing is, speaking with them over voice chat, you can hear that they’re just Adults and they’re happy and having a good time and it feels really nice! Last night a girl who was very obviously still in high school was making really childish jokes to us and I just whimsically said “I remember being in high school, how many years was it now…” and this friend group I’ve created all simultaneously just started saying “don’t say it god please don’t say it” and it was Nice to be surrounded by older people for once and feel included rather than being the younger person trying to sidle up to the Olds.

anyway this is all over the place!! my point is - I really like meeting people online, I love adults who are bad at texting and really funny over voice chat, and also I’m happy that people seem to like being around me and feel it’s necessary to force me to understand how to use discord. I think it’s all very cute and wholesome and it’s nice to have random people from Florida or Australia or New Jersey randomly messaging me pictures of cats and asking me about books.

my new lockscreen

I don’t know what happened but I got vr chat and spent the last four hours chatting with a group of four people who I’ve convinced myself I love. one was an extremely drunk New Jersey man who kept calling me a Russian broad, another was a very kind deep voiced man who was best friends with drunk New Jersey guy, then there was a woman with a fish avatar who was very sweet, and a French man who taught me how to use my controllers. it was amazing and I genuinely had so much fun with them. the internet is so great

my therapist said “you say you don’t have suicidal ideations, but doesn’t it strike you as suicidal when you keep imagining new ways to kill yourself off?” and I don’t know what to do with that

I woke up this morning and went right into a panic attack. literally when will this all end lol! sick of crying every single day over potential diseases I may or may not have!

I haven’t seen this film yet but I really want to because it sounds like it’s right up my alley and of fucking course tiktok has the worst opinions at all times!!

the new abba song is an almost exact copy of al bano’s 1994 hit “felicita” and it bothered me so much that I made this video to prove it

how many new and unique symptoms will I find to convince myself that I’m dying :-) everyday is a new adventure

can’t believe that my favorite socialist Yiddish singer also teaches advanced Yiddish and I want to take his online course but I can’t!!! I hope he’s still doing this when im more advanced

i don’t know what to do with myself

I was doing research in the New Russian Word digital archive and found this article on a slumlord in Brooklyn who took advantage of new Russian immigrants who had just arrived in America. My dad was one of them and is referred to as one of three “rioters” in this article and I’m amazed that this exists. I knew this story through my mother but she never told me there was an entire spread on it in the local Russian paper!

The article is titled “Brightongate” and the second screenshot talks about how my dad was accused and arrested on attempted murder charges against his landlord’s father. what actually happened was the landlord was trying to harass another tenant and my tiny father stepped in front of her and pushed the landlord’s father away. when my dad appeared in court, the charges were dismissed after the judge saw how tiny my father was compared to his accuser. my dad was defended for free by another immigrant association, for which my mother worked for :-) they hadn’t met at this point yet!! such a cool find

i hope so badly that one day things will get better. I feel so hopeless I can’t imagine ever getting better