Flaming Film Reel - IT (2017)
So as the month of many spooks dawns upon us I decided to go see the new adaptation of Stephen King's IT. Coincidentally, I accidentally saw IT the day before the month of many spooks... whoops. PLOT -=-=- So it's the late 1980s in the small town of Derry, presumably in Maine (Stephen King you hack, use a different state for once in your hack life). A group of seven social outcasts form a lifelong friendship over the horrifying clown demon that's trying to kill them all. Floating ensues. IF YOU LIKE *BLANK*, THEN YOU'LL LOVE THIS! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- If you like the following, then you'll love IT! - Boats - Balloons - Floating - Horrible things happening to the right arms of characters - New Kids on the Block - Monster House - Reader beware, you choose the scare - Good child actors - Blood cleaning montages - Dancing clowns RATING AND FINAL THOUGHTS -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- So I give IT (2017) a solid 4/5. I would give it a perfect score but this film made me see the things that I've seen on tumblr relating to Pennywise, so it loses a mark. It's a shame that chapter two is probably going to feature adult actors because it was the kids that really made this film great.
Flaming Film Reel - Kingsman: The Golden Circle
So I saw the new Kingsman film and I thought I'd give a small spoiler-free review. PLOT -=-=- So the Kingsman organisation is put in a tight spot after a drug ring called The Golden Circle proves themselves a serious threat. This of course leads to a plentiful amount of explosions, dead bodies, intrigue and, of course, Elton John. IF YOU LIKE *BLANK*, THEN YOU'LL LOVE THIS! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- If you like the following, then you'll love Kingman: The Golden Circle. - Guns - Explosions - Bar fights - 1950s American aesthetic - Dogs held at gunpoint - High body counts - Glastonbury - Bisection - Elton John - Man burgers RATING AND FINAL THOUGHTS -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- So I'd give Kingsman: The Golden Circle a solid 4/5. My final thought is that I really liked how all the main and side antagonists, excluding the guy with the robot arm, weren't 100% in the wrong when you look at it from a moral standpoint. Only about 90% wrong.
monster concept: direbush
so this is just a little monster concept that me and my brother separately had, coincidentally just one day apart.
the monster appears to be just a regular small, unassuming bush. when someone draws too close to the bush, leafy tendrils pull the victim onto it, piercing them with a bundle of small, sharp, barbed branches. when the victim stands up the bush will still be on them, draining their life force. all attempts to remove the bush will prove fruitless unless aided by the presence of fire. when the bush had drained all the life from their victim, the victim will fall to the ground dead and the bush will release a cloud of spores that will land on the body and grow a mass of grass to obscure the corpse from future victims. the bush will remain on the corpse, living off of the nutrients it can still drain from it. it will only claim a new victim if the corpse proves to no longer benefit the bush or if the bush feels threatened by something. a direbush can often be identified by the slightly raised ground it lies on. this is the only identifying aspect of a direbush.
do not approach a direbush.
@staff please don’t get rid of this mini horse game, it’s the one good thing you’ve done for us.
there horse is gone! why has @staff forsaken us?!
i know most boxing glove arrows have normal sized gloves on them but why not arrowhead sized boxing gloves? it'd be a lot funnier. so small
new cryptid - the ambulance of the last gasp
Can only be seen late at night outside the houses of people who have relatives on their death bed. Will only appear outside of the houses of the blood relatives of the person on their death bed. Can only be seen by the blood relatives of the person on their death bed. The ambulance appears to be normal, with the appearance of ambulances of the country it is sighted in, excluding a few details. The ambulance will have no icons or text that indicate that it is an ambulance or has any first aid equipment inside. The backwards “ambulance” on the hood of the ambulance will instead have the backwards name of the person on their death bed instead. There is no electrical equipment to be seen within the ambulance yet the interior lighting is on. There is no-one within the ambulance and all the doors are locked. Those who have attempted to force their way into the ambulance have become cold and emotionless over the course of a year. Upon the last breath of the person on their death bed there will an almost inaudible sigh and the ambulance’s interior lighting will turn off and the ambulance will slowly drive away. There has been one occurrence where the person on their death bed was revived after the ambulance drove away; upon their revival all blood relatives reported hearing a loud, wet crunch, like something large and metal crashing into a flesh wall. In countries where no ambulance service exists, there have no sightings.
Out of all the times I’ve made myself laugh inadvertently, I think this has to be my favourite:
“tap”
BurntL’s Short Stories - The Tall Man
I am currently doing an English course in college to get a GSCE C grade. I have to do short stories for exam questions. Here is one of them. There was no prompt for this story.
He ran down the alley-ways, turning every other corner. No matter how fast he ran, whenever he glanced behind him the Tall Man was there, just turning the corner, walking slowly.
Cameron didn't know who this towering figure was, why it seemed to be literally cloaked in shadows or why it was following him. What Cameron did know was that his inherent sense of survival was pleading desperately with him to run faster.
Cameron turned another corner straight into a large area filled with crates and boxes. It was a dead end. "Hide!" screamed his sense of survival. He instantly assessed his situation and looked for hiding spots. He saw a crate in the far corner that he started for, however his sense of survival whimpered in protest. With only seconds to spare, Cameron dived under a sheet of tarpaulin.
The Tall Man appeared from round the corner just a second later. Cameron's breathing became slow and quiet. He watched the Tall Man walking slowly into the clearing of crates through a tear in the tarpaulin. He hadn't risked a good look at the Tall Man until now. The Tall Man had to be at least eight feet tall and was extremely slender. It seemed like it was sucking all sound from the surrounding area, as it walked silently over the leaf-strewn floor.
Cameron's breath caught in his throat as the Tall Man came to a stop, right beside him. It was looking around trying to discern where Cameron had gone. After what felt like five hours, but more likely five minutes, the Tall Man's gaze settled on a crate in the far corner. The Tall Man approached the crate and withdrew two long, slender hands with fingers like ebony blades. It thrust them into the crate with such force that it was crushed. The crate must have contained some dead animals. When the Tall Man withdrew its fingers they were crimson with blood. The Tall Man slowly walked out of the clearing of crates and round the corner, out of sight. Cameron did not more for what seemed like an age.
I would appreciate any feedback you have on my story. Did you like it? What would you have changed? All comments and criticism is appreciated.
BurntL’s Short Stories - Spectre
I am currently doing an English course in college to get a GSCE C grade. I have to do short stories for exam questions. Here is one of them. The exam prompt for this story was a story that started with “I should never have taken the long way home”.
I should never have taken the long way home. If I hadn’t I wouldn’t be here right now, in an alley looking down at the man who just stabbed me, who is now searching my lifeless corpse for valuables.
He’s found my wallet, he’s opening it. He automatically pockets the few pound notes and my credit card. He inspects my drivers license, reads aloud, “Emily Perkins” and then pockets that too. He tosses aside the gym membership and the library card, he comes across the photo of myself and my sister. We’re twins, non-identical, she was always prettier than me. He looks at the picture, leers, “Nice. I’ll look you up for sure”. How dare he, how dare he think those things about my sister. Had I blood, it would boil.
He drops my wallet into a nearby dumpster, picks up my body, does the same and closes the lid. He leaves the alley and turns a corner, I follow him. I accidentally float through a lamppost.
He’s strolling down the street, whistling, like he hasn’t just killed someone. I follow him to his house and stop outside it as he enters. I stare at it for the longest time.
A woman walks into me and freezes. I know in that moment that I am possessing her. I lift her hands up in front of her eyes. “What is happening?” asks a small voice in the back of her head. I know what to do as I eject myself from her body and make my to the local police office.
I locate the chief of police’s office and float through the door. He’s looking through some files at his desk. He freezes, as I float into him and my view melts into his. “What on earth is going on?” demands a small voice.
“I’m helping you solve my murder.” I reply out loud.
I make the chief go to the office door and open it. There are several officers working. I make him address the room in a booming voice “I’ve just received report of a murder on Clarkson Street. A witness followed the murderer to 15 Crescent Avenue.” There is a flurry of movement in response.
I remain inside the chief until my killer is brought in, kicking and screaming. He goes silent when I leave the chief and float into him. As I make him tell the officers where my body is and what he took from it, a small voice yells curses at me.
I would appreciate any feedback you have on my story. Did you like it? What would you have changed? All comments and criticism is appreciated.
i just got home from watching Moana and i kid you not there was a coconut in the cinema's foyer just sitting on the floor and when we came back out it was still there and i just pointed at it and said;
"consider the coconut"