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i wish i were a snail

@thetreeturnedoff / thetreeturnedoff.tumblr.com

hey there! my name's matthew, i use he/they/it pronouns, i am an adult, and my icon and header are commissions from the lovely bluehairperson!

here's my google drive with the new arcana tales :) i swear on my honor i will finish everything, i've just been really really fucking busy with work because we're understaffed and everyone's doing last-minute shopping for the holidays so the store is so much busier than normal. edit: and then i got sick :/

just a note, some folders can't be opened in a mobile browser, i have to set my phone browser to desktop mode. it's the ones that are shortcuts to other folders. as far as i'm aware, the only solution is to not use shortcuts and actually create new folders. i'm planning on doing that once all six tales are out, because it'll take a lot of time to go through. so, the issue should be temporary

i honestly don't use tags much, especially reblogs. i do tag my personal posts as matt's personal though, so you can block that if you don't wanna see that stuff

Anonymous asked:

Will you continue updating the arcana tales google doc?

yes! i will, i swear to god i will. i'm so sorry it's taken so long, the internet in general has had to take the backseat recently because of a lot of unforseen personal stuff. i've been really stressed and i'm trying not to burn myself out. but it will absolutely get done, i promise

2023

1. COMMIT TO THE BIT

2. PARTAKE IN THE DIVINE ACT OF CREATION

3. LET THE SOFT ANIMAL THAT IS YOUR BODY LOVE WHAT IT LOVES

For those who are like- huh… here’s a translation

1) Be funny/ continue the online joke: persona you are conveying ( Think Gorbachev)

2) Have sex/fuck someone ( It is specifying say straight sex but we can ignore that part on tumblr)

3) Partake in self care

STRAIGHT SEX? IM TALKING ABOUT MAKING THINGS WITH YOUR HANDS, RIVALING PROMETHEUS IN HIS IDEA TO BREATHE LIFE INTO CLAY. IM TALKING ABOUT TRANSFORMING YOUR BODY IN YOUR IMAGE TO MAKE IT TASTE SWEETER, LIKE WATER INTO WINE. IM TALKING ABOUT PICKING UP THE PIECES AND CREATING SOMETHING NEW, TO FINISH WHAT THE COWARD FRANKENSTEIN NEVER TRULY STARTED.

STRAIGHT SEX??????

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(...looking on in admiration)

why would 'partake in the divine act of creation' mean 'have babies' in this context, what

but that is so much less funny than swaggering in with this degree of unwarranted confidence and accidentally saying Gorbachev where you mean Goncharov. 😂 tear down this wall.

seasons-gredence

have you ever seen the english subtitles for a chinese bootleg of harry potter and the chamber of secrets?

because

they’re

great

full album here

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seasons-gredence

i can’t believe dobby invented hashtags

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seasons-gredence

i don’t even care if you reblog it, i just need you all to look at that album for your own health

My boy snape saying what we’re all thinking

The dark lord

The four hogwarts founders

And my personal favorite

I love that Leverage really goes out of it’s way to show us that just because you break the ‘rules’, it doesn’t mean you’re breaking the rules. Rules and laws and society are all made up, at the end of the day, and all you really have is your own moral compass and sense of justice; is this just to you? Is it right? Should it be OK for companies to put people in insurmountable debt for the rest of their lives just because our medical care is so expensive in this modern day and age? No law or rule should change what you know in your heart is right and wrong, and I think that’s the key thing that makes someone a good person in my eyes.

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theheroheart

#there was a time when parker wouldn’t have noticed, #not because she lacked the capacity to care, #but because she had narrowed herself, #to stay alive she cut off as many unnecessary things as possible, #watching her get them all back, #is one of the glories of this show (via @seananmcguire)

Leverage hands down has the best character development I’ve ever seen.

This scene hit me like a brick. My parents were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt when I was 16 bc I’d had cancer the year before (my treatment ended up being free but the initial ER bills and such were not).

But somewhere along the line they just… Disappeared. My mom says they’re not being paid and they’re not in collections. It’s almost as if someone out there did…exactly what Parker did.

Ever since I saw this the first time, I’ve imagined it was Parker doing it. That she and Hardison had a free weekend and decided to take it out on a collections agency. That I was one of the lucky ones who got a little Leverage.

Okay but like yeah, that is actually a thing that happens, albeit not exactly like this. I don’t remember the exact process but basically there’s a booming industry to sell peoples debt - the business you owe money to sells it to someone else for a fraction of the money owed, wipes their hands of the whole affair, and now whoever bought your debt is riding your ass to get you to give the money to the. But it’s also entirely possible for people to just… buy up massive amounts of debt for pennies on the dollar, and then just. Forgive it. Because capitalism is a living nightmare, but the system is broken enough that it’s possible to exploit it for good sometimes.

Like, the main reason I know about this is because John Oliver did a piece on debt buying a few years ago, and ended it by revealing that he’d bought 15 million dollars worth of medical debt just so he could forgive all of it. Both to expose how broken the system was because some random fucker like him could buy millions of dollars in peoples debt with zero regulations, and also just to take the record for biggest TV giveaway in history.

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Be Parker! Be somebody else’s Leverage!

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skitzofreak

Reblogging for the website.

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So my mom is babysitting an infant but I didn't know so I cannot explain the feeling of walking into my living room and seeing a lone baby ive never seen before sitting on the floor and the dead eye contact we shared for a full minute before my mom came back into the room

mercer frey: farewell. ill be certainto give brynjolf your regards

dragonborn: wait please! if youre going to kill me, grant me one last wish. ive met a woman who is so amazing and weve had such a passionate love life especially in the bed. please tell her i say good bye

mercer frey: spare me the details. who is she, and where can i find her?

dragonborn: what? you dont know your own mothers name and address?

i've figured out why enemies to lovers fucks so hard

every time I've run into this post, i start reading the left side of the venn first, get lulled into thinking it's an nd/trauma/coping theme sort of thing & then the right hand side sucker punches me

i've figured out why enemies to lovers fucks so hard

every time I've run into this post, i start reading the left side of the venn first, get lulled into thinking it's an nd/trauma/coping theme sort of thing & then the right hand side sucker punches me

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just saw a post complaining about how hard it is to find adhd resources for adults and one of the comments said “tiktok has a lot of adhd tips” as if telling someone with adhd to enter the algorithmic quicksand of perpetual dopamine hits isn’t the most insane thing you could suggest for someone with adhd

not to be silly and random but when ppl post things i don’t like on tumblr dot com. i just unfollow them

i may be annoying but at least ive never anon’d a single person on this website to yell at them for liking something i don’t or to send a letter of resignation before i unfollow

not to be silly and random but when ppl post things i don’t like on tumblr dot com. i just unfollow them

i may be annoying but at least ive never anon’d a single person on this website to yell at them for liking something i don’t or to send a letter of resignation before i unfollow