Fleas on rats

Cavemen adorned in white coats & safety goggles working diligently with welding gear and beakers on PROJECT: WHEEL

Cave scientists huddled around a rotating holographic projection of a prototype throwing spear

Wearing full hazmat suits and watching from a bunker 500 meters away as the first berry is picked

This idea grabbed me.

my little brother got a girlfriend recently and the two of them have been making their discord icons matching anime couples, so my other brother, his twin, keeps changing his icon to a third wheel character to annoy them

which lucky lady gets to be subjected to me behaving like this 24/7 🧍🏻‍♂️

I'm literally this dad

I love these videos they're all having so much fun

one thing about me is that i will lose my mind about the personification of the house

this house hates you. this house loves you. this house wont ever let you leave. this house has eyes & a mouth. you could make this house speak. you could make this house cry. this house has seen the worst parts of you & wants to keep you inside it forever. this house will die with you. etc.

Management should feel lucky to be alive.

STOP SPEEDRUNNING MY TOWER YOU INGRATES

YOU AREN’T GIVING ME ENOUGH TIME TO RESET THE TRAPS AND HEAL MY MINIONS

WE’RE UNIONIZED I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW

*mashes the skip dialogue button*

being a student during peak pandemic was so fucking surreal like. "it's not an excuse to fall behind" I cannot stress enough to you how much A Worldwide Plague Upending Life As We Know It is literally one of The Top Three Reasons to fall behind

Do you really want to think for yourself? Or would you rather be a pretty face for me to jerk off to and treated like any other hole?

hate bluetooth headphones that talk. you are a machine you may NOT speak to me

when headphones beep sadly because their battery is low: oh you poor thing :( let me plug you in :(

when headphones say "battery low" in a human voice: Who Are You Stop Interrupting My Music

pease love n respect but i need to be fucked in a chokehold

i say this as normal as possible i need to be flat on my tummy being crushed beneath their weight while they squeeze my neck in the crook of their arm n fuck me like they want me dead

hey. huge furry women sucking each other off

having a crush as an adult is so embarrassing i’m literally too old for this. i should be busy with my blacksmith apprenticeship or something

Goblin swamp woman offers you a love potion in exchange for magically enforced favors but it turns out it's just a really strong sweet cocktail that makes you horny and sleepy and now she gets to fuck your mouth with her smelly green cock and your body is wracked with pleasure and pain if you try to refuse or complain

If you get hard or wet at the thought of a big cock wolfgirl breeding you, the. You are legally required to reblog this.

able bodied allies of disabled people when your disability genuinely has no secret upside and makes you useless to a late stage capitalist society

“They’re not disabled, they’re ✨SPECIAL✨”

As of changing the way you call it would help

whats that story about this dude that really wanted to have sex with a clown and get a pie to the face while climaxing

I heard every time he bounced on it, it squeaked.

wait i found the story actually [link 1] [link 2]

I'm so happy for these people it's unreal. This is a big part of why sex-positivity and kink are so important. There are many different flavours of healthy mutual intimacy, and it's not helpful to shut them down just because they're not mainstream or not for everybody.

I love when dogs and cats just let you pat the shit out of them and they enjoy it so much. Like yeah dude real quick I just need to play you like a bongo and they’re like god yes I’ve been waiting for someone to play me like a bongo