Avatar

Amidst fallen cities and crumbling facades

@thesongofnevermore / thesongofnevermore.tumblr.com

Musician and walking embarassment. Life destroyed by Roderich Edelstein, cries about Frédéric Chopin almost daily. Please drop me an ask and say hi! (EN & DE)

Traditional Celtic marriage vows, better than anything I've ever heard:

You cannot possess me for I belong to myself But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give You cannot command me, for I am a free person But I shall serve you in those ways you require and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.

Avatar

But there’s more of it? I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night. And the eyes into which I smile in the morning. I pledge to you the first bite from my meat, And the first drink from my cup. I pledge to you my living and dying, equally in your care, And tell no strangers our grievances. This is my wedding vow to you. This is a marriage of equals.

Avatar

Can I just say, uh, I’m pretty sure noticing you’re asexual is hard than noticing you’re gay, straight, pan or otherwise. Like, I just read someone’s desciption of hitting puberty and, like, there’s nothing like that. There’s no sudden ‘boob’ moment, no sudden ‘fuck, I’d fuck that’ moment, not sudden anything. You just, like, plod on through life as usual going ‘oooh, that’s pretty, I’d like that hair’ or ‘oooooh, they’re nice, I’d like to be close to them’ but there’s no like, ‘oh, someone would want to fuck that but I don’t’, you know? You just- you don’t notice, you don’t realise everyone else has ‘had a moment’ but you haven’t, you just- keep going as you always have.

And then, much much later, you start to wonder why people are getting so caught up in drama for romance or sex, like, why bother? It’s not worth it, they’re not worth it, why are you doing stupid things for something that’s so- and then you wonder if there’s something wrong with you, start mentally over compensating. Like ‘uh, okay, um, who should I date? Who can I stand to date? Who could I stand to fuck?’ like- it’s not, it’s not something you want, but you want to fit it, to be normal.

Sometimes you don’t even know that you’re doing it.

Sometimes you don’t even know asexual’s a thing.

I dunno, I guess, I just feel like, uh, people should understand more?

idk sorry thank you for listening to me

Then there’s also the people who finally identify as asexual, because they finally found a word that describes them, and they might spend some time having to come to terms with it, who struggle, and those who come out to mixed reactions, but finally are comfortable with themselves….

Then BAM they start to have feelings for a friend - and they don’t know what these feelings are.  They’ve never felt them before.  But they know they feel differently about this person they’ve known for years.

Or BAM they find their exception and don’t know if they’re even asexual still, or if this is a one-time thing.

Or BAM they start to feel… something.  But it’s not consistent.  It has very little discernible pattern to it.  It’s not quite what people have described as sexual attraction… but it’s not NOT sexual attraction either.

And they have to question their identity… AGAIN.  And figure it out… AGAIN.  And sometimes they might have words to describe this and maybe not, but they know that, once again, they don’t quite fit in.  And they have to go through it all again, trying to find out what happened, if they’re still asexual, wondering if maybe they never were….

Asexuality spectrum folk often start out thinking they’re straight up asexual then get to play the identity game again when something changes for them and I just want everyone to know that this is okay.  They’re not liars.  They’re just discovering themselves.  And that’s ok.