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The Shitpost Calligrapher

@theshitpostcalligrapher / theshitpostcalligrapher.tumblr.com

NEW REQUESTS ARE CLOSED ATM4 Confusing Future Archivists since 2015. 27/she/they. Linktree:linktr.ee/theshitpostcalligrapher pfp by tumblr user @husband

Pinned FAQ

How do I request a card?

You can request up to 3 cards for free during openaskbox events! During those, the /ask inbox opens up for a few hours, during which I try to write as many as I can live on twitch and post them on tumblr.

After the event is over and I close that inbox, there are still a BUNCH of leftover requests. This is how I fill the daily content queue, I use those up til it's empty again and then run another openaskbox.

On Saturdays at 3pm EST I write all 28 cards due to go up for the week from that pool of leftover asks live on twitch and then queue them to go up after stream

What if I don't wanna wait?

If you'd like to throw a bit of cash around instead of waiting, you can buy via the etsy listing or you can tune in to those^ Saturday livestreams, there's a variety of ways to donate to get cards written for you on the spot

How do I buy the card I've requested?

The etsy listing is available here! Please remember to include in the notes of the purchase which card(s) you want to buy. If you'd like me to bundle together all the cards you've requested over a period of a few years, dm me here on the blog and I can quote you on a cheaper bundle price

Why did you answer all those asks, it messed up my dash?

Sorry about that! So to keep all of that ^ organized, at the end of the month, I answer about 112-140 leftover asks in order to record them to a proper "to-write document"

It helps me keep organized, it allows me to easily search for spelling issues, and it gets a few eyeballs on the request in case someone tries to slip an obscure slur into their request that I'm not cool with writing (it has happened)

Lots of the regulars are used to this dash nonsense, but there are folks who want to avoid it entirely. If you're on mobile I'd just recommend unfollowing for a while, but if you're on desktop, you can blacklist the tag "added to notepad" and go to xkit to tick the "fully hide blocked tags" option so it clears up your dash

Wait I thought requests were closed, why can I still send things?

That's because requests use /ask, but /submit is always open because it's for YOUR calligraphy, pet photos, fanart of man... etc. Requests are NOT open when it's not openaskbox day but feel free to send me cool shit YOU made anytime

Wait you have a twitch, do you do anything other than calligraphy?

Yep! Normally I play games on Fridays and run a GIANT minecraft build project on Mondays (its a 1.4 mill block build in survival dw bout it). Currently I'm real busy with the calligraphy stuff so I don't have a new game picked out for Friday, but I'll let y'all know!

The body extends beyond the body in the kitchen. We move through the space like bones through sinew and flesh, like identity through reality. The knife becomes an extension of the hand and the organs, acting as both masticator and digestor for the greater whole.

ah so whenever I take over my friends kitchens thats like.

me doin a lil infecting?

a lil taking on of new body parts? new lil parts of me as i incorporate how sharp all my friends knives are into my lil meat brain?? how lovely!

lil preview of a commission i've got goin atm

sgonna look cool as fuck when its done :>

ohgh god my eyes, have an update

Dude you genuinely inspire me, but also how the fuck does one even start doing a piece this complex? I get overwhelmed just thinking about it

start by drafting where the text goes, pull up a minimum of 6 reference images and just start to go hogwild idk

oughgh its 5 am and im an idiot but GUESS WHATS DONE

THIS OSTENTEATIOUS BASTARD!

thoughts?

damn.

oh btw im still on holiday atm but when I get back, would yall like this to become a print? I can redesign the thing and release it by like, late september

ah the commissioner got it bc this is what seems to be framed on someone's room in pokemon:

and thus got it as an ACTUAL frameable piece as a gift

lil preview of a commission i've got goin atm

sgonna look cool as fuck when its done :>

ohgh god my eyes, have an update

Dude you genuinely inspire me, but also how the fuck does one even start doing a piece this complex? I get overwhelmed just thinking about it

start by drafting where the text goes, pull up a minimum of 6 reference images and just start to go hogwild idk

oughgh its 5 am and im an idiot but GUESS WHATS DONE

THIS OSTENTEATIOUS BASTARD!

thoughts?

damn.

oh btw im still on holiday atm but when I get back, would yall like this to become a print? I can redesign the thing and release it by like, late september

Out here haunting york....

(lmao shoutout to the ghost bus tour for letting me on for free for a quick photoshoot and letting me use their smoke machine lmao)

Update

IM ON THE PISS COME FIST FIGHT ME AT HARKERS

Woke up in Jersey?? What year is it???

(jk jk we planned this leg of the trip, plane tickets and all but I like the concept of posting skweezy jibbs style updates)

Out here haunting york....

(lmao shoutout to the ghost bus tour for letting me on for free for a quick photoshoot and letting me use their smoke machine lmao)

Update

IM ON THE PISS COME FIST FIGHT ME AT HARKERS

Woke up in Jersey?? What year is it???

(jk jk we planned this leg of the trip, plane tickets and all but I like the concept of posting skweezy jibbs style updates)