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Don't Talk To Me Or My Son Ever Again

@thesecondcomingofkobe-blog / thesecondcomingofkobe-blog.tumblr.com

Put me in coach I'm ready to play.
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sakurajohansson
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writing-prompt-s

Anyone not married by age 25 gets a spouse assigned to them by the government. You are fine with that: most matches are a success and it’s less effort for you. But it’s your wedding day and you’ve just met your match. You cannot imagine how this was the person they chose for you…..!

… you’re walking down the aisle. It’s dark outside the chapel and your phone is dead. As you approach the altar, you see him- Shia LaBeouf.

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strikersindanger

WAIT! He isn’t wed, SHIA SURPRISE! There’s a ring in his hand and love in his eyes!

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dinosaurrainbowstarfish

HUSBAND MA-TERIAL SHIA LABOEUF

sakurajohansson

every fall teenage girls are like.. “oh , im gonna enter a place of business and order a product which is offered by that place of business because i like the flavor of it” and honestly? how dare they. that’s so annoying. why can’t they buy the beverage that i, a smart man, would prefer to drink

szechuan sauce frappe bc the cartoon science man like it

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neurodivergent-crow

I’m WHEEZING

sakurajohansson
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livspec

Peter Parker, also known as the popular superhero ‘Spiderman’, is roughly 16-17 years old, meaning he was born in either 2001 or 2002. Contrary to popular belief, this place him firmly in the ‘Gen Z’ category, rather than the millennial category that many place him in. By extrapolating this information, we can conclude that Peter Parker not only knows what a furry is, but constantly has to grapple with the fact that his spider-centric identity is, in fact, his fursona. In this essay I will-