this is how you nip internalized self hatred right in the bud as a parent.

GUYS I REPOSTED THIS ON INSTAGRAM AND A FEW MINUTES LATER PATRICK STUMP REPLIED TO MY TWEET WHEN I ASKED ABOUT HIM PERFORMING AT THE 1989 TOUR

WASN’T GONNA REBLOG THIS BUT THEN I READ WHAT costumeswift SAID WHICH MADE IT NECESSARY TO REBLOG

EVERY TIME I NEED TO I JUST CANT PASS 

Something magical i hope

I CANT PASS THIS

i just heard my mom calling me down for dinner.

god is real.

please.

Yeah yeah

My mom just gave me 40 dollars biih

• Use the hand you write with.

• Make a fist with your thumb outside, not tucked inside. If it’s tucked inside your fist, when you punch someone, you might break your thumb. The thumb goes across your fingers, not on the side.

• Don’t be like in the movies—don’t aim for the face. Face punches don’t usually stop people, and you can miss when they duck their head or break your hand on their jaw. If you want to get away quickly, or end a fight, aim for the chest, or the ribs. If you really want to do some damage, e.g., you’re being attacked, aim for the throat, which will make it hard for your attacker to breathe for a hot minute.

• When you punch, you want to aim and hit with your first two knuckles. Not the flats of your fingers, and not your ring or pinky knuckles, which can break more easily. You can use your weight, if you’re on your feet, to add wallop, and spring into a punch with your feet and torso.

Useful information, esp. if you haven’t taken self defense.

I reblogged this once before to add this and I’ll do it again…

keep your wrist straight.

You can also risk breaking your wrist if you allow it to bend.  I actually can’t believe this isn’t in there.

Other good pointers:

see that meaty portion highlighted in red? There’s a lot of muscle and fat right there which makes it excellent for striking. Hold your hand as shown and aim for the nose or chin (though I’ve been told in extreme circumstances, doing this to the nose can be fatal but I’ve never really heard if this is true or not) and just aim upwards

Originally in (most) martial arts, you hit the solar plexus because it supposedly contained an important chakra. Now we know that it actually also contains like a bunch of necessary organs that are exposed just below your ribs and is also (roughly) where your diaphragm lives so getting punched there is not pleasant.

-Also, remember that a guy’s junk is not an off-button. Don’t think that you can rely on a swift kick to the balls to immediately incapacitate him in an emergency. Adrenaline and anger can keep somebody going for a long time even through extreme pain, and if you expect to end a fight with a single groin-attack you might be caught off-guard when he doesn’t drop. Certainly go for it if you get the chance, but keep hitting him until the fight is over.

-Draw blood if you can, especially if you can draw it from the face or the eyes. Blood in the eyes is not just a good way to impair your attacker’s vision, it’s also a really good way to freak them out and let them know that they might be getting more than they bargained for by picking a fight with you.

-Elbows and knees are really powerful weapons. Elbows are very sharp and very strong and if you are in close-range they are often more effective than trying to throw a punch. 

-Yelling and shouting makes you scary. 

Nothing much to add to this, it’s pretty much all there. So. Reblog. Oh, also, it’s really easy to break a nose - go for the eyes too. All it takes to avoid a shot to the throat is tucking your chin. Also, that part about the ear - don’t punch. An open hand over the ear hurts a lot.

Tumblr teaching me how to fuck a bitch up

Also if you fuck up their face it’ll be easier for police to identify the attacker.

If someone gets you from behind and you cant punch them, go for the underside of the upper-arm. A bad pinch there is legit so painful because that skin is super sensitive. Also this cant be stressed enough, if the attacker is a guy then fucking rip his junk off.

When throwing a punch:

reblog to save a fuckin life

more about the ear- if you can grab it, it literally only takes about five pounds of pressure to rip it off. go for it.

Reconexión….

OH MY GOD

I am really happy the house cat was included at the bottom, haha

“BED TIME IS NAOW KITTEN”

“why do you talk like that?”

Transcript by request:

“So, one thing that I’ve noticed when I make videos that aren’t explicitly disability-related is that I get a lot of comments that are like “Why is she talking like that? Her voice is so annoying!” and also the weirdest one is people accusing me of faking my voice, which is really bizarre to me because if I were going to fake a voice it would definitely be someone like Halsey or Emma Stone or literally anyone with an ‘attractive voice’.

The reason that I talk like this is because I have cerebral palsy, and I was born with it, blah blah blah. Here we go, don’t send me anon.

The reason why is because I have spasticity and muscle tension as well as reduced lung capacity as a result of my cerebral palsy. So that’s why I speak as if I’m breathing heavily or sometimes I stutter and I have to have a lot of awkward chops in my videos because I need to pause to catch my breath. Like right now.

Growing up I was actually really self-conscious of my voice because I believed that people used it as justification to infantilize me or make fun of me or not take me seriously. 

But what it took me way too long to realize is, it’s just a voice. It’s not good or bad. And my voice doesn’t impact the content of my message in any way whatsoever. Also, I’m really smart and I’m fucking hilarious. And believe it or not, I shockingly have a variety of fully formed opinions on things that have nothing to do with disability, that I would actually like to talk about from time to time.

I used to use my voice as an excuse to silence myself. Now I realise that it’s all the more reason to speak.

And to any disabled or neurodivergent kids or teens out there: please, please, please, the worst thing you could do is to convince yourself that your opinion only matters if an able-bodied or able person thinks it’s worth listening to. God knows we’re all going to be turned into coal and deep in the ground before that happens.

I talk like this because it’s my fucking voice. And to all the nasty people out there: maybe you should focus less on making shitty ableist comments and more on fixing the festering void where your soul used to be.”

Holy crap her voice is so adorable and her message actually got me teary this woman right here is amazing!

Fuck I love this. I don’t know what my favorite quote from it is because the entire thing is pure gold.

friends: why are you single? me screaming inside: IM FUCKING UGLY me: idk I just don’t have the time for anyone

lol yes, so then i can shave.

     One minute, 37 seconds.      My legs are shaking. Holy cow, there is no way I can do this. None.      One minute, 29 secods.      I glance around at the faces surrounding the room. Of course my Meeting would take place in the gross, overcrowded cafeteria.      One minute, six seconds.      Somewhere within these four walls, someone has the exact same countdown on their wrist. They’re going through the exact same pressure as me.       54 seconds.      Mom said I should be excited, not nervous. Yet I still find myself wiping my sweaty palms on my dress. I can’t believe she talked me into wearing a dress. I mean, shouldn’t  my Soul Mate meet me as I normally am? All plain jeans, blah shirts, and wild brown curls?      30 seconds.      Something deep within me tells me to stand up. I do, drawing the attention of my tablemates. They all know too. They smile encouragingly up at me. I chew my lip nervously.      25 seconds.      That same feeling pulls me towards the center of the room. My stomach drops away from me as I take a step in that direction.      20 seconds.      I continue in that direction. With each step the tempo of my heart picks up.      19. Faster.      18. Quicker.      17. More rapid.      16.  It’s racing.      Oh my god this is it. The moment my life changes forever.      My eyes search frantically around the cafeteria, searching for someone who looks as nervous as me. For someone who’s heading towards their future with no sense of direction like me.      10 seconds.      The feeling directs me slightly to the left. I turn to accomodate.      5. My heart has given up entirely.      4. I stop walking.      3. Just waiting left.      2. Everything is about to change.      1. Deep breath.

     0000 d 00 h  00 m  00 s

     Someone bumps my shoulder. I twirl around and my gray eyes meet blue, blue ones.      “Hello there, love. It appears as though we’re Soul Mates then, eh?”      As my words fail me, the only thing I can think is “I’m so glad I shaved this morning.”

 I watch my friend carefully. Her excitement is glowing all over her pretty face. Exactly 2 minutes left, she tells me. We’re waiting at the bus stop and the bus is coming in two minutes. I think she hoped she’d meet them on a beach at sunset or something.  ”I mean that’s ok - these things can’t always be romantic I mean my mum met dad when he was working at the book store and it’s not like you can plan it to be romantic I just hoped, I mean everyone hopes don’t they-” she breaks off, looking at me awkwardly. “Sorry. It’s just a big day for me you know.” Yes I do know. You’ve been going on about it for the past year. I smile at her.  ”Don’t worry. You nervous? You’ll be ok, you always are,” I grin, determined not to ruin this for her. It’s selfish of me to be moody. This is her future being determined. Right here. In now, precisely 1 minute 30 seconds.  She smiles at me, but it isn’t quite reaching her eyes. She’s restless and keeps tapping her foot. Her eyes are wide with.. fear? Excitement? Nerves? Probably all of them and a thousand more things I can’t imagine. She keeps checking her wrist. So do I. The bus comes around the corner. 1 minute 10 seconds.  ”Hey. I’ll leave you alone now ok? The bus is here. I’ll sit a couple of seats away, and be there if you need me,” I say, squeezing her arm reassuringly. “Good luck.” I hope it sounded sincere.  The bus pulls up and I climb on first, taking a quick glance at her while I give the driver my ticket. She’s shaking and looks a little green. I want to give her a hug but know I shouldn’t interrupt now. I look at the passengers and it’s full of pensioners. My heart starts beating frantically. What? I can’t see anyone else at the bus stop. But she’s only 18, she can’t end up with a 80 year old.   I turn around and look at her - she’s breathing hard. The bus driver asks if she’s ok but she ignores him. Her eyebrows are creased and her face is flushed. Oh. Oh no. Stay calm. Someone is probably late. I give her a thumbs up and try to smile reassuringly. I think it’s more of a grimace.  I take a seat near the back. Look at my watch. 25 seconds. She sits down a few seats away.

 Suddenly a dark shape runs past my window and a boy jumps on the bus. He has that same frantic look in his eyes. I breathe out with relief.  ”Yeah get on, we’re running late,” the driver says, taking his ticket. The boy looks around, carefully stepping towards the seats. He’s tall and handsome, holding a sketchbook. I smile slightly; my friend hates art.  4 seconds  He spots her.  3 seconds  His eyes widen as he walks closer, as if being pulled by an invisible rope.  2 seconds  My friend stands up too, that same rope tying her to him.  1 second -  ”I was worried the bus would leave. No way could I miss meeting my soul mate!” he jokes, though he looks just as nervous as she. They smile at each other as they both sit down together. I can’t hear what they’re talking about.

 I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Suddenly I’m crying. Hot tears dropping down my cheeks.

 I look at my wrist, scratching at it. Trying to get rid of it. 

 The numbers have never changed.

 They’ve always been at 0.

Oh my god that last one…. My heart… The feels….

AGH ALL OF YOU WRITE A BOOK THIS VERY INSTANT. PLEASE.

this is beautiful and everyone needs to read it

i hate you tumblr, fucking breaking my goddamn heart

Then, one day, you’re having dinner with a friend you’ve known for as long as you can remember (or perhaps a friend of the family), and you finally talk to them about your counter. You’re crying, explaining that it’s always been at 0, and so you must not have a soul-mate.

Their eyes widen. Tears begin to form, and they throw their arms around you.

“Mine has always been at 0 too.”

And that’s when you know…

10 seconds: the doorbell rings, i get out of my chair 5 seconds: i give the man my money 0 seconds: i open the box. it is the most glorious pizza i have ever seen in my life.

This post always has different stories on it and I always have to read it and reblog it

Yeah but can I have that countdown for my period?

what about an ace one?

@blue–bat headcanon accepted?

DOES ANYONE ELSE REMEBER HOW DARK THIS MOVIE ACTUALLY WAS.

filed under: childrens movies that shouldn’t have been childrens movies

an autobiography

me me & me

but its funny how we hate ourselves but then we see other people hating themselves and we’re like nO NO DONT DO THAT NO