Hieu Minh Nguyen, from “White Boy Time Machine: Instruction Manual”, Not Here
“Death associated with water is more dream-like than death associated with earth: the pain of water is infinite.”
—
Gaston Bachelard, from Water and Dreams.
(via ligeia-of-the-rhine)
mysterious skin / a primer for the small weird loves - richard siken / my own private idaho
“you’re really self aware for someone with bpd” it’s torture,, knowing that you’ll ruin friendships, relationships, opportunities but still not being able to stop your self sabotaging behaviour. knowing that it’s all in your head but the overwhelming feeling of possible abandonment is so difficult to ignore,, pure torture.
every day i get my heart ripped out & every day i simply just continue
TLDR : I'm over this, I swear. I'm just tired.
just needed to get this out of my mind or else I never will.
on self-sabotage
the bomb, florence + the machine// appointments, julien baker// abject permanence, larissa pham// never wanted to dance, mindless self indulgence// king, florence + the machine// quote: lauren e. bowman// in the woods, tana french// does the universe fight for souls to be together?, jamie varon// olivia laing on loneliness, marrying the poet ian patterson and the challenge of intimacy// left alone, fiona apple// @mjalti //renegade, taylor swift// a burning hill, mitski// ICU, phoebe bridgers// legit tattoo gun, the front bottoms// just, radiohead
i wanna make you fall in love as hard as my poor parents teenage daughter / she'll be the best you ever had if you let her
Sylvia Plath from a letter to Ann Davdiow-Goodman written 1951; Letters of Sylvia Plath, Volume I: 1940-1956 / Jeanette Winterson excerpt from Lighthousekeeping / Rosamund Hodge excerpt from Cruel Beauty / unknown / image: Angelica Alzona Intimacy (2012) words: The National Daughter of the Soho Riots (2005) / Tathève Simonyan A Prayer / @/FAUNTHEKiD (pinterest) / Victoria Chang Foghorn; Six poems / image: unknown words: Richard Siken excerpt from Crush / Hala Alyan I'm Not Speaking First
i spend my days waiting. waiting for the water to boil and my tea to be ready. for spring to come back. for more daylight. the oil in the pan to heat up. a “hey i miss you” or “can you help me out for a second?” or “you want to hang out?” text. for my phone to finish charging. for good news. flowers on the table. the next hug. “hey, you got the job!”. waiting for the sun. to set. to rise. to see both. for summer to be around the corner. a good song. a falling star. a text back. i spend my time waiting to be remembered. i spend my time repeating that tomorrow will be better. tomorrow will be better. i spend my days waiting and waiting and waiting. i spend my days waiting unbearably.