in my dreams

literally what the fuck

The best three weeks of the year is definitely when there’s wild bluebells everywhere.

Ever Since New York @ Basel, Switzerland

Okay so I’m watching my friend’s cats while she’s away and she left me descriptions so I could tell who’s who

They’re pretty accurate 

oh god why is this me lol help

I’m so glad this came back into my life

if you ever wanna be torn apart by a pack of rabid wolves then just say ‘i’ve never read harry potter’ and watch how many people turn to you frothing at the mouth with the full intent to murder. i was sitting in my uni class and i’m like ‘yah idk what you’re talking about i’ve never read the books’ and three (3) white girls’ heads swivelled on their necks at a full 360 degree rotation like some batshit owl but instead of coming from the hundred acre wood it’s a correctional facility. and they were ready to end me! then and there!!! after a deathly silence with the same constipated congestion and timeframe as a brontë novel i’m like ‘i’ve only seen the movies’ as if i thought that could redeem me, the heretic, the delilah, the Motherfucker ™, in the eyes of my fellow yeomen. and all 3 of them barked at the same time like i had just confessed to shitting on their mother’s greying corpse and depositing her directly into the atlantic instead of, ya know, not reading a bloody book series. so that’s my scarlet letter i guess

XuanWei Su

via @extramadness

bruce wayne maintains a presence on all conspiracy theory boards with the screen name BruceWayneIsTheBatman and all his posts have titles like “BRUCE WAINE IS BAT-MAN INDISPUTABLE PROOF” and it’s just a picture of Bruce Wayne from the back next to a picture of Batman from behind and they both have the contours of their butt drawn on in a shitty MSPaint red line (note: Bruce is in a suit and Batman has a cape, neither of their butts are clearly discernible) and the quote “THE BUTTS MATCH!!! THE FACTS DON’T LIE!!!!!” and he makes at least three of these posts a day, and “Bruce Wayne is the Batman” becomes a meme a la “Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer” and he gets asked about it on a talk show and he laughs uproariously at the idea and Stephen Colbert just HAPPENS to have a batman mask under the desk and they do a bit together where Bruce Wayne puts on the mask and walks around saying things like “excuse me, bank robbers, can I perhaps offer you some money to stop you robbing this bank?” and “I say, cease and desist your criminal behavior or I’ll have my butler ask you to leave” and the audience is LOSING THEIR MINDS laughing at the idea of this pampered rich guy taking on the Joker on a bi-weekly basis and then anyone who suggests “Bruce Wayne is Batman” in earnest gets met with mocking “oh man do the butts match” comments

peter: i hate it when people say that i can “do whatever a spider can”

tony: well, can’t you?

peter: i can think of many things a spider can do that i can’t. i can’t crawl into someone’s ear and die, i can’t legally leave guatemala without a passport, i can’t have sex with a spider —

steve: can we change the subject

loki: let him finish talking

is this a joke about loki fucking a horse?

EVERYTHING is a joke about loki fucking a horse, wake up sheeple

“he had a body like a greek god”

which greek god? hephaestus? apollo? swan zeus??? is she ogling a cute guy or a longhorn bull

this is a metaphor for my life

that poor fucking cat is so confused

after a few messages and a revisit to this post, i’ve decided that this is not a cat

He committed to how pissed off he was

I love how petty this is

I hope he brought the video to traffic court to contest the ticket lol

I love the poetry that this gifset ends with him running into a police car.

This is a tactic called Uncivil Obedience: where you follow the law so stringently that it exposes the injustice the law causes.

+

(x)

lmaoooo

That moment of utter disappointment LGBT people go through every now and then

this was so pure

Winding Brook, 1906, Egon Schiele

Size: 30.48x24.13 cm Medium: oil on panel