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Hopeless Dreamer

@thepollish-blog

hey there! 22 years old, from Germany...English major Let's do it one more time with feeling

Simon: Did you know?

Emily: I knew you had a secret. But when you were little you were so carefree. But these last few years more and more it’s almost like I can feel you holding your breath. I wanted to ask you about it, but I didn’t want to pry. Maybe I made a mistake.

Simon: No. No mom, you didn’t make a mistake.

Emily: Being gay is your thing. There are parts of it you have to go through alone. I hate that. As soon as you came out you said, “Mom, I’m still me.” I need you to hear this: You are still you, Simon. You are still the same son who I love to tease and who your father depends on for just about everything. And your the same brother who always compliments his sister on her food, even when it sucks. You get to exhale now, Simon. You get to be more you than you have been in, in a very long time. You deserve everything you want.

My dad recently visited me in LA and we went to dinner with him and all of my roommates. He said something that I’d never heard him say before.

He said “Shannon was my little buddy when she was growing up. She just wanted to be with me and around me all the time. Then something changed when she was a teenager. When she came out to me, she came back to me. I got my little girl back.”

I’m emotional just typing it. 

Two churches located across the street from each other. At least the Catholics have a sense of humor.

this is my favorite thing

I will never not reblog this.

All rocks go to heaven

Always reblog.

I’m a paradox. I want to be happy, but I think of things that make me sad. I’m lazy, yet I’m ambitious. I don’t like myself, but I also love who I am. I say I don’t care, but I really do. I crave attention, but reject it when it comes my way. I’m a conflicted contradiction. If I can’t figure myself out, there’s no way anyone else has.

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Blogrates 📬

Da mich noch einige Nachrichten diesbezüglich erreicht haben, würde ich heute noch einmal Blogrates machen ☺️ Außerdem suche ich immer noch neue Blogs, denen ich folgen kann 🙋🏼

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graduating later than other people means absolutely nothing at all. like you both completed the same requirements and have the same qualifications–why does it matter if you completed it in 5 years and they in 4?? in 6? in 3? you had experiences they didn’t have and they had experiences you didn’t have. relax. take your time if it’s allowable. if that’s what it takes for you to get through your degree and do your best, that’s what you should do. you’re going to succeed. you’re going to be okay. 

We spend so much of our 20’s looking for the one. We are stuck at that age where half of our friends are engaged or married, some with children; the other half is drunk off their ass 90% of the time and never made it past their second semester of college. We find this compelling need to compare ourselves to everyone around us, “oh at least I’m doing better than her,” and “fuck. She’s about to be a doctor and I am not sure what I want to be.” We have to swipe left endlessly looking for what we want. I’ll tell you what you want, it’s to be happy. Happy is not the same for you as it is for the girl who sat next to you every day during 3rd period. And for me? Happy is making sure I get to see the world while I’m young, experiencing different parts of our country before I pick and place and settle down. If I’m going to dig my roots so far into the nutrient rich ground I want to make DAMN sure it’s the right kinda soil to make me grow. At some point I woke up and realized I’m living life for myself and not others. I welcome their criticism but learned to filter out when it was helpful versus unnecessary. There’s nothing wrong with getting on a plane to anywhere or long road trips or moving around to figure yourself out. Cause let me tell you, I was looking for the one, and I found her. It’s me. I’m the one. But when I find someone else who can be my plus one to everything I’ve already given myself, I’ll be ready because I won’t expect them to give me all the love in the world. To always pick me up when I fall. I will not rely heavily on them because i know I’ve already done it for myself and deeply rooted myself in those capabilities. Whoever comes along will hopefully have done that for themselves and instead of 2 trees in a yard we can create a jungle that radiates so much life everything comes to live within us. You see I was born a queen with a throne, now I’m learning to make an empire. And for you? I hope you find whatever your happiness is to be able to do the same. To be a source of life.

This! ❤

In class today, Trump was somehow brought up and someone said that Trump was a neo-nazi and my professor was like, “Trump hasn’t ever said he was a neo-nazi” and another kid said, “I was still gay before I started calling myself gay!” and realized what he said and he looked just mortified but it was the greatest response to anything I’ve ever heard

When trump makes you so angry that you ram down the closet door to call out some bs

I get it. It’s lonely being a lesbian sometimes.

Meeting someone special just seems impossible. A girlfriend? Me? Yeah right…I wish! Where do you find one of them? Forever Alone, amiright?!

It’s so much easier for straight girls, you think. If success in romance is a numbers game, then the hets have clearly got the advantage. Finding another lesbian is like finding a needle in a haystack. Finding one to date - harder still.

But still…you daydream about it, sometimes. You imagine how nice it would be to come home to someone that you love…someone whose smile makes your heart skip a beat every time she looks at you. You think about her as you go about your real life sometimes. You visit some place that inspires you, and you wish that she were there to share it. You read something interesting and you wish that you could talk to her about it. You’ve never met her, but you feel her absence like an ache nonetheless.

But here’s the thing - she’s real, and she’s out there, probably daydreaming about you too. And irrespective of whether it takes you a month or a decade to find each other, the end result is going to be the same…

You’re going to be happy, and you’re going to be loved, and all the waiting is going to be worth it 💕