when you realize they weren’t waving to u 

a soulmate is a person that won’t complain about any of my music when i put my ipod on shuffle

i complain about my own music when its on shuffle what are you talking about

i needed this audio on my blog

shit idea

flat stairs

explain

stairs but theyre flat. you put the stairs on a flat surface and they dont go up or anything they just go forward

floor

INCORRECT it is an actual set of stairs only instead of building them so they ascend they just built the Stairs as Flat

thats a floor

youre a closedminded fool

flat stairs example

SEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS PERSON GETS IT

What would you do? You choose what path your character takes in Episode – download the app now!

run bitch

im tired of these stupid vape tricks like just go away

If I ever come home 🏡 and saw my future son 👦playing with a Barbie doll💃😱😱😱, you best believe I'm gonna snatch that doll right out his hands 😡😡😡👏👏👏and replace it with a Yasmin doll 💁because we are a Bratz™ household with a passion for fashion 👗👠💅💅💅and we will not tolerate Barbie's lack of lips 👄 and jointless knees under my roof 🏠😤😤😤💯💯💯 Smash that mf like button if you too refuse to let Mattel's chief witch into your household 😤😤😤

me: *misses my train by 6 seconds* me: if i didnt stop to look at that bird that one time when i was 10 i would have been 6 second ahead in life and this wouldn’t have happened.

The soccer gender pay gap is ridiculous

It’s a breezy summer day and the rustling from the leaves outside sound like whispers from my small apartment. I’m sitting in front of my laptop, silently studying the 1.6 billion faces speaking simultaneously in front of me. It’s Monday, the day of the weekly conference call between all Muslims. We have been required to attend this Skype meeting from the the tender age of fetus, but I had never spoken in one of them before. 

That changes today. 

“Hey guys, what if…” I start to say. 

Nobody hears me, but I refuse to be silent. How could I show my face again on Tumblr if I couldn’t even save my mayonnaise friends from death? How could I expect to earn their respect? Anon was right; why hadn’t I done this before? Thousands of lives had paid the price for my ignorance, but not anymore.

“What if you guys….. stopped killing people.“ 

Suddenly, silence. 

1,643,398,023 pairs of eyes are on me. My heart is in my throat as the ISIS leader gives me a blank expression. 

A single tear rolls down my cheek. "Please.” I say with a broken voice. 

He is moved. 

“Aight”.

My fingers are almost shaking as I carefully type in the ten digit phone number I have had memorized my entire life. The buttons on my home phone seem to glow a bit more dull, and even the ringing of the phone from the other end seems to be agonized, almost as if the world is telling me to hang up. But I refuse to give up; I can’t let my white lily friends down. Not again.

The phone rings once. Twice. Three times. Still no answer. Just as I am about to hang up, there is a click.

All I can hear is heavy breathing.

“Hello….” I say quietly, my voice shaking. “Is….. Is this Muslim?”

There was a long silence before I heard a voice answer “ya lol”.

“I was thinking………..” I begin cautiously. “Maybe murder is…………bad.”

“Habibi, I…..I don’t understand. What are you trying to say….?” The voice seems shaken.

“What if…….world peace is good and killing people is…………not good”

He lets out an audible gasp. “Are you saying ISIS is…….bad?”

“Maybe death is…….not good.” I continue. My heart is racing. I remind myself that I am saving thousands of lives, and inhale.

The silence from the other end of the line is almost deafening. He seemed to be thinking, as if he had never considered this idea before in his life. Truly I had opened his heart and his mind. This…. This could end terrorism.

“Muslim….Please.” I whisper.

I hear a tear roll down his cheek, with my Muslim Communication Hearing™ and hold my breath as he finally breathes out his next words.

“Kk.”

“I hear a tear” How do you hear a tear?

Ah, you must not be Muslim,