"why can't they just be friends" not in the homophobic way but in the "their platonic relationship in the source material is far more dynamic and complex than the sanitized personalities they gain as a result of shipping" way

"why can't they just be friends" not in the homophobic way but in the "this is a valuable exploration of intimacy and vulnerability that we’re conditioned to recognize only in romantic relationships but that can exist platonically as well" way

If a worker who isn't the owner says ANYTHING similar to "I'm not really supposed to do this but-" and then does something that helps you, under no circumstances inform the business, including through reviews. You tell them that the worker was polite, professional, the very model of customer service and why you like to go there. You do not breathe a word of the rulebreaking.

“it’s going to be WW3!!” no bitch it’s going to be vietnam, korea, afghanistan, it’s going to be another war wherein the US commits unspeakable and indefensible acts against a severely weakened people seeking self determination. it’s going to be another war where protesting is criminalized and “freedom of speech” is gutted in the interest of pushing propaganda. it’s going to be another nation of people added to the long list of victims of US imperialism and another demonstration of the strong undercurrent of fascism running through the foundation of america

This guy always takes his chocolate art to the next level!!... Omg!!

(Source)

Shawn and Gus are drift compatible but under no circumstances should they ever be allowed to pilot a jaeger

Shawn: Shawn Spencer, Psychic Ranger, and this is my copilot, Jaeger McFlavour.

Jaeger McFlavour: The british spelling.

trains are extremely sexual actually, have you seen couplers????

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTdQuxw52/

I think I found my new favorite rabbit hole. This voice actor does Shakespeare scenes in a southern accent and I need to see the whole damn play. Absolutely beautiful

if you're not from the us american south, there's some amazing nuances to this you may have missed. i can't really describe all of them, because i've lived here my whole life and a lot of the body language is sort of a native tongue thing. the body language is its own language, and i am not so great at teaching language. i do know i instinctively sucked on my lower teeth at the same time as he did, and when he scratched the side of his face, i was ready to take up fucking arms with him.

but y'all. the way he said "brutus is an honourable man" - each and every time it changed just a little. it was the full condemnation Shakespeare wanted it to be. it started off slightly mock sincere. barely trying to cover the sarcasm. by the end...it wasn't a threat, it was a promise.

christ, he's good.

the eliding of “you all” to “y’all” while still maintaining 2 syllables is a deliberate and brilliant act of violence. “bear with me” said exactly like i’ve heard it at every funeral. the choices of breaking and re-establishing of eye contact. the balance of rehearsed and improvised tone. A+++ get this man a hollywood contract.

Get this man a starring role as Marc Antony in a southern adaptation of this show PLEASE.

This man is fantastic. 💕

The thing that just destroys me about this, though -- we think of Shakespearean language as being high-cultured, and intellectual, and somewhat inaccessible. And I know people think of Southerners as being ill-educated (which...let's be fair, most are, but not the way it's said). But that whole speech, unaltered, is so authentically Southern. And the thing is: Leaning into that language really amps the mood, in metalanguage. I'm not really sure how to explain it except... like... "Thrice" is not a word you hear in common speech...unless you're in the South and someone is trying to Make A Fucking Point.

Anyway. This was amazing and I want a revival of Shakespeare As Southern Gothic.

One of the lovely things about this, and one of the reasons it works so well, is that from what we can piece together of how Shakespeare was originally pronounced, it leans more towards an American southern accent than it does towards a modern British RP.

In addition, in the evolution of the English language in america, the south has retained many of the words, expressions, and cadences from the Renaissance/Elizabethan English spoken by the original British colonists.

One of the biggest examples of this is that the south still uses “O!”/“Oh!” In sentences, especially in multi-tone and multi-syllable varieties. We’ve lost that in other parts of the country (except in some specific pocket communities). But in the south on the whole? Still there. People in California or Chicago don’t generally say things like “why, oh why?” Or “oh bless your heart” or “Oh! Now why you gotta do a thing like that?!” But people from the south still do.

I teach, direct, and dramaturg Shakespeare for a living. When people are struggling with the “heightened” language, especially in “O” heavy plays like R&J and Hamlet, a frequent exercise I have them do is to run the scene once in a southern accent. You wouldn’t believe the way it opens them up and gives their contemporary brains an insight into ways to use that language without it being stiff and fake. Do the Balcony scene in a southern accent- you’ll never see it the same way again.

This guy is also doing two things that are absolutely spot-on for this speech:

First, he’s using the rhetorical figures Shakespeare gave him! The repetition of “ambition” and “Brutus is an honorable man”, the logos with which he presents his argument, the use of juxtaposition and antitheses (“poor have cried/caesar hath wept”, etc). You would not believe how many RADA/Carnegie/LAMDA/Yale trained actors blow past those, and how much of my career I spend pointing it out and making them put it back in.

Second, he’s playing the situation of the speech and character exactly right. This speech is hard not just because it’s famous, but because linguistically and rhetorically it’s a better speech than Brutus’ speech and in the context of the play, Brutus is the one who is considered a great orator. Brutus’ speech is fiery passion and grandstanding, working the crowd, etc. Anthony is not a man of speeches (“I am no orator, as Brutus is; But, as you know me all, a plain blunt man”) His toastmaster skills are not what Brutus’ are, but he speaks from his heart (his turn into verse in this scene from Brutus’ prose is brilliant) and lays out such a reasonable, logical argument that the people are moved anyway. I completely believe that in this guy’s performance. A plain, blunt, honest speaker. Exactly what Anthony should be.

TLDR: Shakespeare is my job and this is 100% a good take on this speech.

definitely one of the challenges I have with reading Shakespeare is that it sounds so weird to me. “The good is oft interr’d with their bones”?? Who talks like that?

Well,,, rednecks. Despite being Elizabethan English, none of this is really out of character for a man with that accent; southern american English has retained not only (I am told) the accent of Shakespeare, and the “Oh!” speech patterns, but also so many of the little linguistic patterns: parenthetic repetition (“so are they all - all honorable men”), speaking formally when deeply emotional, getting more and more sarcastic and passive-aggressive as time goes on, etc.

Someone sent this to me a while ago and I dropped it in my drafts because I wanted to comment on how RIGHT this sounded but I couldn't express why it sounded right, so I'm glad other people have picked it up

There's a theory that Appalachian English in particular retains a lot of the qualities present in Shakespearean english that are now gone elsewhere. Thinking of my Mamaw, who says "twice't" instead of twice and other things like that...

This is right up there with Gary's Cook's Hamlet soliloquy

First of all, this is brilliant acting. Second of all, the language analysis above is great for anyone interested in it. And lastly, this video, to me, does a great job of pointing out the effect of type of media on the story you're trying to tell. Shakespeare's plays work best as plays. Not as scripts, not as movies. Plays.

official linguistics post

Tag urself I'm Tiddy Skittles

Guys I found the FUCKING article have it

Ashley, F. (2019). Surgical informed consent and recognizing perioperative duty to disclose in transgender health care. McGill Journal of Law and Health, 13(1), 73-116

The author is transfeminine themselves and this bit was in a FOOTNOTE. They had NO OBLIGATION to give this information and they are the funniest person on this fucking planet

I’m glad people are enjoying it! I totally wrote the footnote for shits and giggles, adding it during revisions. Academic funnies is something I try to do as much as I can, because academia is often too dull for my taste: https://www.facebook.com/florence.a.pare/posts/10223888512340696

It’s hilarious that it has legit 132k notes lol

How am I just finding out about you

ok but have y'all seen their writing on surgery:

Forthcoming in the prestigious McGill Law Journal. ✨

Nine would have thought Martha Jones was the coolest person in the world. Doesn’t even matter where in the timeline this was or what happened to Rose, he would have loved her leather jacket and her hairstyle. He would have loved that she was a DOCTOR! Her studying to be a doctor was so overlooked and he would have loved it. He would have thought she was the coolest person alive. Nine and Donna would have killed each other on sight

LIVE (nothing wrong with me)

LAUGH (nothing wrong with me)

LOVE (nothing wrong with me)

tuck him in Tuesday

tuck him in Tuesday once again

another tuck him in Tuesday is here

Tuck him out 😈

WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM

How is anyone supposed to be normal after that. G-d looked back at me for a minute

I get that being frozen for 100 years is a tough thing to go through but honestly Aang should have used it for comedy more

Katara: wow so this is Omashu

Aang: back in my day it was called weed city

Sokka: I’m… pretty sure it wasn’t

Aang: that’s what the fire nation wants you to think

Bumi, the second they arrive: welcome to weed city

Sokka: what the fuck

can we get this post to 420,000 notes

My exact reaction when this happened

I always forget that gas giants are, you know, made of gas, and not just smooth plastic color. The atmosphere is full of clouds, and the entire planet is atmosphere!

Baldur's Gate fanartists will draw Astarion like a renaissance painting and Wyll like the cover of an adventure novel and Gale like a Leyendecker drawing and Karlach like the cover of a trashy romance novel (where she is the beefy hunk and her love interest is the swooning maiden) and Lae'zel like a knight in a manuscript and Shadowheart and Minthara like the cover of a lesbian pulp novel and Halsin coming out of a lake like the bear equivalent of the Birth of Venus and they're all so right

glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts

:)

Do Not Do This To Me

if this post hits 200k im printing it out and eating it

Achievement Unlocked:

Daily Recommended Dose of Fiber

Make an ill-advised promise within earshot of a gimmick blog.

Quick someone add a fucked-up car so we can get @identifying-cars-in-posts

Ok!

1976-1977 Oldsmobile Cutlass

That car is not messed up enough. Here.

@identifying-cars-in-posts

1981-1983 Delorean DMC-12

I'll write a hauiku as a comment on this post and hope the bot sees

I’ll write a hauiku

as a comment on this post

and hope the bot sees

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

@identifying-horses-in-posts

Pretty horse!

@i-say-ok

ok.

@cat-spotted

CAT SPOTTED!!☆ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

Fine kitty appearing during our time of need! This Delightful beast only appears once every 1000 years for the small price of $2.50!

/200K

$0

I choose @weirdly-specific-but-ok ! And it's effective!

the second i saw someone chose me for something i felt deep irrational fear. what eldritch demon is this site sacrificing me to now?

oh are we eating paper is that a thing because i am down baby

If someone asks what Tumblr is, show them this thread.

@turtleneck-crowley @ivankaramazov07 isn't this magic. :D :D ;D

TUMBLR IS HUMAN CULTURE AT ITS FINEST I TELL YOU THE DOCTOR WOULD BE PROUD TO SEE US IDIOTS. IVE SHENANID-ONCE, ILL SHENAN-AGAIN

to all those who got the ducktales reference, i send my love and kisses

I’m turning this into a picrew chain also guys lots of pressure

Do it or the animatronics fucking get me also no I did not kill anyone what are you talking about

tags: @biscuits-lovely-corner @expresso4thedeppresso @funkingrn @aroacesigma @lastdivantruther @barracuda677 @pengumi12 @sulkystella @misschuchuw @someonebeatmetotheseusernames @blinksager @sav3yee @chuuyasboner @ur-local-remy-kinnie @urazayt @thelittleprinceconfirmed @gherkin-saute @vinylbiohazard @amioddlyart

tag all you moots this is not an option

also prev yes you @ivankaramazov07 I want you to do it as well

@probablyautism thnx for remembering the weirdest tumblrina on the planet. also can u explain to ur local grandma what she has to do(apologies are afoot)

So tap on the link above my character and simply make your own it could be an OC or you or your sona, anything.

ON IT BESTIE!

im here watching this lmao, funniest shit i seen

NOT THE KILGRAVE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

oh and @probablyautism here u go luv

CMON FOLKS

DO IT

here you are!!

@mystic-mae IM IN LOVE WITH YOUR PICREW!!!!!! beautiful business.

@weirdly-specific-but-ok @styx142 no pressue :)

Wild how I keep returning to this goddamn post. @queermarzipan ball's in your court babe.

It may still need help getting to 200,000.

Here's Aziraphale in disguise:

And here's a backstage shot of the Gentlemen in 1941 suits:

@tothechaos will you print and eat the entire post? If so, here is a long joke. Don't choke:

A man obsessed with trains finally steals one and immediately crashes it, killing several people.

At the trial, the man is found guilty of multiple murders and sentenced to death.

Before he faces his sentence, he’s offered a last meal, and asks for a single banana, which is given to him.

The next day, he’s led to the electric chair. They strap him in, pull the switch, and... nothing happens.

There’s never been a failure before. But because you cannot punish a person twice for the same crime, the court is forced to let him go free.

Within a week’s time, naturally, the man, who is obsessed with trains, goes and steals another one.

He doesn’t care that he can’t drive it or that he failed catastrophically before; he is obsessed with trains and his only desire is to operate one. As before, he crashes it, and kills several people.

Again, he stands trial, and again, he is sentenced to death, showing no remorse, only delight that he got to operate the train.

His last meal request is a single banana. When he goes to the chair, the executioner pulls the switch, but nothing happens. He goes free again.

The train-obsessed maniac, once more on the loose, wastes no time in hijacking a train and crashing it.

His trial is speedy, because this has already happened twice, and he is sentenced to death.

They ask him what he’d like for his last meal. “A single banana,” he says.

“Oh, no you don’t, you son of a bitch. We’re on to you, now. We know all about your little banana trick, and you’re not escaping this time!”

The guards refuse his request, and instead serve him a standard last meal of steak, potatoes, and berry cobbler.

The next morning they strap him into the electric chair, pull the switch, and... nothing happens.

“Did you give him the banana?” demands the head guard.

“No, sir! He asked for the banana but we didn’t give it to him, we swear!” says one of the guards.

Turns out the banana had nothing to do with anything. He was just a really bad conductor.

JEFF, CHANGE YOUR FUCKING URL

@writing-prompt-s

Quick! Gordon Ramsey has tasked you to come up with a new recipe with a rather special ingredient: 'this trainwreck of a Tumblr post printed out on paper'. You don't have much time as the exquisite guest will enter the doors of your fancy establishment the moment this post hits 200k notes. Come up with a recipe. Please provide detailed instructions.

Bespoke 9 course meal meant to be enjoyed by @tothechaos

Foreword:

As tasked by the prolific Gordan Ramsey, this 9 Course endeavour will feature the post in its entirety segmented into 9 delightfully ornate, unreasonably complex yet delectably unparalleled dishes. In the following, we'll see how to prepare each of these dishes.

Course One

Dish name: 10k notes of Hubris

10k Notes of Hubris is a simple risotto with saffron infusion and forest mushrooms, topped with shavings of the top 9th piece of this post, printed in full colour, regular stock. Due to the nature of a 9 course setting, it is wise to start with a simpler dish.

Ingredients (serves four people):

1 teaspoon of saffron

300g carnaroli rice

50g extra virgin olive oil

20g butter

5g shallots

1l vegetable broth

parsley (to taste)

100g porcini mushrooms

80g portobello mushrooms

100g brown mushrooms

5g truffle oil

5g lemon peel and lemon juice

30g parmesan cheese

thyme (a dash)

5g garlic

A pinch of salt and pepper

The first 9th of this post, printed in full colour with regular stock.

Method:

In a saucepan, pour the oil and the chopped shallot(s), then add the rice and saffron and toast

Pour the broth a little at a time and cook slowly. Allow to cook before adding salt and black pepper. Stir in butter, grated parmesan cheese, chopped parsley, truffle oil, lemon juice and peel.

In a separate saucepan, cook the mushrooms with oil, garlic, thyme, salt and black pepper.

Presentation:

At the base of the dish pour the risotto, complete with forest mushrooms and basil leaves. Shave the printed top 9th of the post and sprinkle on top. Drizzle a dash of olive oil before serving.

The next dish and recipe of this 9 course meal, complete with the next 9th of the post printed and incorporated, will be presented by another chef.

@one-time-i-dreamt @i-am-a-fish @pukicho

hi jeff (:

imagine if doorways grew back like scabbed over with fresh drywall and you had to keep carving them back out with a jabsaw to keep the doorway clear etc

Imagine if the membranes recoiled in pain every time you did this. Imagine if over time, some doorways became accustomed sensation. Imagine that very rarely, some even seemed to enjoy it.

*sleepover host voice* imagine if you two went to sleep

Oh for gods sake kids it’s like piercing an ear - that’s why you put a doorframe in - you don’t hang a door in drywall, you gremlins. You frame the door. It’s like those gauges that people put in their ears - the hole stays. It won’t scab over with a doorframe in it. You’ve lived around doors you whole life, you little clowns. Lights out