consider the sperm whale and the squid. an ancient rivalry that dates back millions of years. we know the whales eat the squids. we know the squids do not make it easy for them. we know this because of the scars the whales carry, scars on the outside of their body, and on the inside as well. how badly must you want something to endure wounds inside your mouth? inside your gut?

consider the whale, who is harmed by what sustains her. consider the squid, whose flesh is soft and delicious but refuses to go down easy.

This post is about lactose intolerance I can smell it.

you ever take a uquiz and realize halfway through that you don’t respect the author and their opinion is useless to you

everyone shut up except this person

the for you page thinks I'm a gnome

discord should really up their psychological warfare game. add relationship statuses

self-care is reaching under your shirt and firmly gripping your own boob

Sorry to all of the people who had to flee book Twitter because of Elon. I can simulate it for you right here though!

Author who wrote a YA book called something like "Crown of Suck and Bone": I wish I could put my English teacher down with a bolt gun for making me read Shakespeare instead of REAL literature like Love Simon in high school

Former Ana Mardoll reply guy: This. LITERALLY this. Expecting people like me, who have synesthesia, to read Shakespeare is rooted in

Person whose profile pic is Dostoevsky w/ huge naturals: I hope the world blows up tomorrow

also im growing to hate the phrase ''hold accountable'' in discourse because its always so.... empty? like you see people saying ''sure this person apologized, but we need to hold them accountable!'' like cool. what does that mean. how can you get any more accountable than a public apology. do you want them to apologize... again? more? get a tattoo explaining their crimes so everyone they meet is informed? do you want accountability or are you repeating buzzwords because you cant find a nice way to say you just want them to disappear.

A couple job interview hacks from someone who has to give a job interview every single goddamn day: (disclaimer: this goes for my process and my company’s process, other companies and industries might be different)

1. There are a few things I check and a few questions I ask literally just to figure out if you can play the game and get along with others in a professional setting. Part of the job I interview for is talking to people, and we work in teams. So if you can’t “play the game” a tiny bit, it’s not going to work. Playing the game includes:

- Why do you want to work here? (just prove that you googled the company, tell me like 1 thing about us, I just want to know that you did SOME kind of preparation for this interview)

- Are you wearing professional clothing? I don’t need a suit just don’t show up in a ratty t-shirt and sweatpants.

- Are you able to speak respectfully and without dropping f-bombs all the time? Not because I’m offended but because I don’t want to be reported to HR if you wind up on my team.

- Can you follow simple directions in an interview?

2. Stop telling me protected information. I don’t want to know about what drugs or medications you’re on, I don’t want to know about you being sick, I don’t want to know if you’re planning to have children soon, I don’t want to know anything about your personal life other than “can you do the job?” 

3. When we ask, “What questions do you have for me?” here are my favorites I’ve heard: - What does the day-to-day look like for a member of your team?

- If one of your team members was not performing up to his usual standard, what steps would you take to correct that?

- What can I start doing now to accelerate my learning process in this job?

- What are some reservations you have about me as a candidate? (be ready for this emotionally….it will REALLY help you in the future, and I’ve had people save themselves from a No after this, but can be hard to hear)

- In your opinion, what skills and qualities does the ideal candidate for this job possess?

- What advice would you give to a new hire in this position/someone who wanted to break into this industry, as someone who has worked here for a while?

Those are just my tips off-the-cuff. I work in sales in marketing/SAAS, so these can be very different depending on the industry, but I wish the people I interview could read this before they show up. 

To anyone who was suicidal at age 14 or younger, here’s your permission to grieve. Here’s your permission to not joke about it or just flat out ignore it. Here’s your permission to acknowledge that lost child who felt way more pain than any child should ever feel. You’re allowed to cry for that child, whether you healed or are still suffering the same thoughts. Finally allow yourself to grieve for that child filled with undeserved hurt.

i feel like there's a bit of a tendency in leftist circles to do the same thing conservatives do, and pine for an imaginary time period that never existed. except instead of like, ancient rome, or the 50s, a lot of people are weirdly fixated on like...the middle ages? or the hunter-gatherer days? or pirates? like people will try to be anti-capitalist and say "oh medieval peasants had better lives than we do" or "humans used to all live in small communities that took care of each other" and like. idk man id rather have vaccines and the ability to leave your abuser and the right to vote.

it's tempting to think that since things are bad, they must be uniquely bad. but there is no utopia in the past that we need to return to, no garden of eden we were cast out of with the advent of. idk the industrial revolution or whatever. we need to create a better future, not despair about an imagined past.

part of this is also the extremely reductive idea that like, White Men are the root of all evil in the world, and therefor pre-colonial cultures must have all been utopias. in reality, they were neither barbaric nor magically perfect, they were just people with their own flaws and virtues. it turns out people everywhere were and are basically the same. looking for the magic button that will make everything perfect again just distracts from the mundane and hard work of making things better.

The generation gap between me and ppl of my own age

some of my biggest insecurities only became insecurities after my mother pointed them out to me and turned my characteristics into flaws. parents, fucking watch what you say to your kids. 

I know this post is meant for women, but this.

This post is for everyone actually, no worries. Boys and other genders can definitely experience what I’m talking about in my op.

movies

Today I went to the movies. I went to see Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. It was hilarious. The movie was about a guy named Flint and he wanted to be an inventor. He worked very hard. Then he made an invention that made it rain food. The food got way too big.They had a whoa whoa whoa I’m not gonna tell you anymore. You’ll have to find out and see what happens next.

is this even funny i dont think its funny im not putting it in the tags

How has this comic made such a groundbreaking cultural impact without getting over 40k notes

I simply don't think that's true eBooks.com but thank you anyway

I had to mentally send myself a reaction image the other day. I ran up the stairs on all fours, said to myself “i’m such a locationpilled scampercel” and then perfectly envisioned this image

please i've already hurt so much