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“Link creates more awkward situations…”  (X)

When the CDC tells people to throw out their lettuce everyone rushes to do it. But when the CDC tells people to vaccinate their kids it’s a giant conspiracy and we shouldn’t listen to them

Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

1. You walk on eggshells when you’re with your partner as they’re suspicious, explosive and react so easily.

2. Their feelings and opinions are the only things that matter. Your feelings and opinions are irrelevant to them.

3. They take everything very personally.

4. They’re not interested in affirming you.

5. Any praise or compliment comes with strings attached.

6. You have to be who they want and need you to be.

7. You feel they twist your words so you’re left feeling confused.

8. You can’t question their judgment or the things they say and do.

All of this applies to a relationship with one’s parents, too

More fun facts about ancient Celtic marriage laws: There were no laws against interclass or interracial marriage, no laws against open homosexual relationships (although they weren’t considered ‘marriages’ since the definition of a marriage was ‘couple with child’), no requirement for women to take their husband’s names or give up their property, but comedians couldn’t get married

It’s Adam and Eve not Adam Sandler and Eve

I want to expound upon “comedians couldn’t get married” thing because it’s actually really interesting. Satire was respected in Ancient Ireland. It was thought to have great power, enough to physically maim the subject one was making jokes about. Satirists could bring down kings with a witty enough insult. That was actually their original function. When the king didn’t do right by his people, a bard was supposed to compose a poem so scathing it would raise welts on the king’s skin to oust him (it was illegal for a “blemished” king to rule.) Unwarranted satire was considered a form of assault. So what it boils down to is ancient Celts being like “These people are too dangerous to reproduce. DO NOT TRUST THEM WITH CHILDREN. EVER.”

whats a king to a bard

Thats literally a dnd skill

Vicious mockery at sixth level

@themicrobelady

@thedaft1 I mean, my gnome bard DID kill a mounted knight by insulting him to death so...

dnd spell: vicious mochrie - summons an enraged balding canadian to improv melee damage at your enemies (roll for comedic effect)

if you have a bag of holding you can give him two items to use as props. 

Can he use Hoedown as a cantrip?

only if you’re fighting drew carey

@mochafraptor @themicrobelady

@thedaft1 And Irish Drinking Song could be a new 5th level spell!

...Would you fuck a clone of yourself?

This is the first time ive seen this meme used and it wasnt only in character but also literally sounds like actual dialogue from the series itd paired with

@themicrobelady omg this meme set is PERFECT

@thedaft1 I read it in their voices!

DM: You open the door and see two creatures - BARBARIAN: I close the door and don’t see them anymore.

@themicrobelady

@thedaft1 Again, this exactly what Dave would do!😂He’s one of my favorite characters to play for a reason

Daylight.

@themicrobelady these are the robot horses I told you about called Striders

@thedaft1 They’re like Voltron horsies!😍

REMEMBER SKIP-IT FROM THE 90’S

my weapon of choice during school yard fights 

DnD campaign but the only weapons are 90′s toys @riskpig

Distance weapon: those sky dancer propeller toys.

I’ll allow it.

I have but two words:

Are those a weapon or piece of armor?

Party walks into the inn to rest and the pub looks like

Perfection.

@anotherspecter

I ride into battle on one of these

Those last ones do lethal damage to the user if you roll anything below a 20.

@themicrobelady please introduce this somehow into one of your dnd games, please for the love of God have one of your characters wield a skip it or something please please please it needs to happen

@thedaft1 My human barbarian, Dave, would totally do this!

the princess bride is exactly what a dnd campaign would look like as a movie like? the delightfully weird cast of characters with their own quirks, the strange pacing and narrative that still Works, the absolute absurdity of it all, the jumping back and forth between wanting to be serious and it being really funny, hell its even Told like a dnd story through the use of the grandfather being the one telling the story

what a fantastic fucking movie

also like the character backstories are SUCH dnd backgrounds like? “im out for revenge for my father who was killed by a guy with six fingers on one of his hands” “i bumped into a band of pirates and their leader liked me so much he ended up having me take on his title to retire”

that is the Exact shit that people come up with for dnd characters

DM: having narrowly escaped Humperdinck, you find yourselves in the dangerous Fire Swamps

Westley: do I know anything about this area? Any danger?

DM: roll a history check

Westley: 15

DM: you know of rumors of giant rats in the swamps, as well as quick sand

Westley: what do I know about the giant rats?

DM: roll nature

Westley: [nat 1] …… rodents of unusual size? I don’t think they exist

DM: hey what’s your passive perception-

@themicrobelady

But why is this so accurate?

Some casual BBRae in the design I used for my little comic and heavily referencing a pic from this post.

EDIT: Ended up making some changes, but the original can still be found on my instagram.

I woke up in a cold sweat because I needed to draw this

Don’t know how to fix it