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E. ♡

@themeforajackalplays

○●○she/her•22•usa•here for the memes○●○🐈‍⬛vet tech by day, big titty goth gf by night🦇

carrd? nah. if you want to learn about me you have to connect scraps of information from my occasional sentence-long tumblr tags and gay little rants I’ve been putting there since 2016. that is the truest wellspring of self.

ideal way that my followers figure out what the fuck is up with me:

three fun and sexy facts about me: 1.) i have a slight fructose intolerance which manifests itself mostly in me getting violently ill whenever i eat garlic. 2.) i have “delayed phased sleep disorder” aka my body wants to sleep during the day and stay up at night. 3. i am extremely sensitive to sunlight and cannot be in direct sunlight for more than like five minutes without getting burned or overheated.

extra bonus fun and sexy fact: the one and only time i stepped foot in a catholic church, someone spilled hot coffee on me and i got a bad burn on my chest and had to leave before the service started

unrelated: i think i might start taking classes to become a phlebotomist 

wait i gotta google something

yeah this is funny

To be fair to that last point, that kills just about everyone.

Op i would like an interview

only if it’s homoerotic

my coworker filming me attempting to light bottle rockets in the cemetery on our lunch break...it did not go as planned