via weheartit

As a millennial, the thought of owning a decent house with a nice yard is basically a fairytale at this point.

A college degree is basically an expensive piece of paper that signifies you know how to follow directions.

People say that life’s short, when in reality it’s the longest thing you’ll ever experience

It's not a bad dick.

Reblog if you agree

The people who decide the length of a CVS receipt and the people who make automatic paper towel dispensers should swap places.

this is why I love this joke:

Jesus was fond of telling his followers not to worry about how they’d afford food tomorrow because God would provide. But Jesus told them this while handing out free bread and encouraging them to help people who were in need, making them the outlet through which God would provide for others

My mother was a waitress, we live in an area that has a lot of Christians and people would often stiff her on tips. Instead they’d leave a pamphlet with quotes from Jesus saying not to worry because God would provide

Jesus’ message was never that God would magically put food on people’s tables. God would provide opportunities to help each other, like the boat captains offering to help the dying man. That only works if people actually help each other

When I first heard this joke as a teenager I laughed at the guy who didn’t take the help that was offered to him. As an adult, I think of all the Christian politicians who vote against food stamps and I want to tell them “You were the boat captain but you steered away from the man in need instead of offering him help. Is that really what God wanted you to do?”

Met this cutie today 🐱

Little louder for the fuck boy in the back.

I can’t keep doing it. (via thunder)

(via Gilded Glass “Mr. Beeks” Beaker Showerhead)