Say it ain't so

I woke up early to nanny the sweetest little girl. She was upstairs getting ready as I grabbed my coffee from under the kerig. I decided to wrap myself up in my toasty sweater and stare out the frosty window. I stood there thinking about how they have the picture perfect family and how that’s something I want. I took a few think about my current relationship which has been happening for about 11 months now. I love him. How could I ever leave him? …even though he doesn’t want kids. Or to get married. He doesn’t kiss me anymore. Does he even love me anymore? This realized I was playing a dangerous game. There are so many reasons for this not to work. I’ll never have the things I truly desire in life if I choose to stay with him. What am I doing with my life?